Toddler wont eat

[kitten_uk2]

i have a 20 month toddler who refuses to eat.

At breakfast i try him with weetabix, but he wont eat off a spoon, the only way i can get him to eat is to put toys in front of him and sly the food in his mouth without him noticeing, lunch today was a nightmare, made us tomarto soup with chunks of bread, he wouldnt eat it off the spoon, even with toys infront of him, so i put bread on in front of him on his high chair for him to feed himself and it went onto the floor,

i really am at my wits end with this, i tried him on various finger food about a month ago, put a plate of cucumber, cheese tomarto and bread etc and that went onto the floor aswell, he will sometimes eat if i place the food straight into his mouth depending what it is,, jaffa cakes, crisps, biscuits, and sultanas are favourites at the moment, but most of the time he just refuses to eat.

i cant even get him to eat yogarts now because its spooned into his mouth.

please tell me im not alone with an awkward toddler.

[tradey]

your not alone,my 2yr old was just the same so what i started to do is i had a spoon and so did she,id put my spoon in her mouth then she would feed me then id say now you put your spoon in your mouth and ill put mine in and within say three days she was eating off a spoon on her own,fingers crossed if you do this it may work for you too,hope it does good luck

[kitten_uk2]

Thanx for your answer ill give that a try, my son is slightly behind than other kids his age, he just started walking last month! he is still on bottle as he refuses beaker, and still tiny, in 9-12 month clothes. sometimes i think he just doesnt understand.

[meltoadhall]

he wont starve himself and i wouldnt worry about it. as long as hes healthy and still active dont panic about it - he will sense that you are panicking and will react accordingly.he will eat when he feels hungry. try eating the same time as he does and make a great show of how much you are enjoying your food. ignore him if he doesnt eat his. if he will eat sweet stuff then there doesnt seem to be much wrong - you could try not giving him these treats, perhaps substitute with fruit or breadsticks instead.

if its becoming a real problem then see your health visitor.

[noxlumos]

Meltoadhall is right he won't starve himself. My youngest son Ciaran would only eat off his own fingers (yougurt, custard, you name it) until well past two and a half. We NEVER make a big deal about food or table manners when they are still little, they can eat or not eat, with their spoon, their fingers, they can draw with their yougurt if they like, but eventually they get sweet civilised little eaters all of their own accord and by 2 1/2 are doing everything you'd expect of them. Don't let him stress you about it, or you'll become a source of amusement to him if you go off loopy about food landing on the floor and him not eating. Just ignore the bad things he does ( food on the floor etc) and praise the good things and you'll not go far wrong. Remember you want him to enjoy eating and if it's a stressy experience he won't enjoy and will dread every meal an behave accordingly.Good luck:)

[B00]

Mine will DESPERATELY want her food if she sees me eating her food 1st.......

Consequently I've put on 2 stone...........lol, im kidding................

It's only 1 stone ;-)

[wendilla]

I look after my grandson 4 days in the week so I have had a lot to do with what to give him to eat.For awhile he loved broccli couldn't get enough of it Carrots and chicken pie but only the birds eye ones with the shortcrust pastry.He is only 3 and just recently has gone off them all .It is now fish fingers and he has always liked chicken nuggets so when he decides he dont like them anymore I am stuckFavourites are fish from chip shop and macdonalds chicken nuggets and chips ,But he is quite healthy it is just me making sure he has proper food.So I dont make an issue about it anymore.He wont starve himself.

[andy-hughes]

This is the very first step in the noble art of manipulation.

Children learn quickly what makes their parents anxious, and then they pull your chain with it on a daily basis. meltoadhall is absolutely right, your little one has realised that messing about at meal times makes mummy panic, so it's a great game!

Try the excellent methods mentioned, and above all, don;t let him see you are even remotely stressed by his not eating - and you shouldn't be, his instinct for survival will overule his need to amuse himself eventually.

Kids need boundaries, so they can push them, but above all, know that they are there, it gives them security. So don;t let him manipulate you, take the 'fun' element out of it for him, and he'll stop, but he will find something else! Bath time ... bed time ...it makes you wonder how this planet got over-populated doesn't it?

[lady_p_gold]

WHATEVER you do, do not show anxiety or sit there trying every bribe under the sun, the spoon trick mentioned earlier is an excellent one, or looking for some sort of special spoon which you can say is a present from the fairies which can only be used on a special day 'special fairy spoon day' which involves using the spoon and say getting a special fairy sparkly sticker or something ..... or perhaps getting another child round who eats with the spoon and getting them to share something (which will soon go to the other child if yours doesn't buck up !!) there are endless psychology tricks ... good luck !

[yummymummy]

Could definitely be a control issue so try not to get too bogged down in the battle. They are a bit faddy at this age, but is best to avoid getting into a habit of doing things in a certain way (using the toys, feeding him yourself etc) as it is much harder to break later on. As other people have said, he won't starve himself although I appreciate it is hard to watch him not eat, especially if he's not a chubby chap. Also try and avoid filling him up with snacks 'just so he's eating something' as that will also backfire in the long run.

My little chap is 20 months, and luckily a pretty good eater but I have found recently that he responds to a clap and a cheer if he eats something a bit different, as is willing to do it again for another clap. This kind of thing is always on The House of Tiny Tearaways on BBC3, although it is often older kids. Worth a look for some tips.

[metagirl]

my little brother - he's five now - would sporadically refuse to eat - this happened for about 2-3 years! He is also small for his age. the doctors would tell my mother that it was normal and that he wouldn't starve himself. This did not really appease my mother because he'd practically live off milk and random vegetables that he liked - brocolli, sweet corn and green beans! anyways, he was always healthy - according to the doctors - but it did take time for him to get into a ritual of eating. Now that he is in school, he eats more regularly, which is a relief. very strange - kids!

good luck :)

[Sparkles3]

I agree with much of the advice above - a game of manipulation and control has been started!! I encouraged both of my children to feed themselves (albeit with a little help early on) since they were about 10 months old (fingers then spoon by about 12 months). I think they like to be independent. I agree with sitting and eating with your children, demonstrating to them appropriate behaviour, and not getting drawn into games which interfere with eating (which is the main task).

Other things that worked for me: try making sandwiches that are cut into shapes or making a face with different food on the plate. If it doesn't get eaten, take it away in a simple matter of fact way, get your son out of the high chair and then carry on with your next activity. Next food comes at the next meal time.

You are not alone with an awkward toddler, but you need to focus on what's important - he will eat when he's hungry and you just need to provide him with the opportunity to eat lots of different and interesting food at regular times (rather than snacking with things you think he likes). Getting into a routine with boundaries generally works well for children, who then know what is expected of them, which makes them happier.

Most of all don't panic, he will continue his behaviour linked to the attention he gets from your anxiety - at 20 months they really want your attention in any way possible. Good luck!