adult bullying a child

[loopyc]

please bear with me this is a long story! my 8 year old daughter was playing with two friends, the youngest 4 pinched a pot of paint from her mums, my daughter opened it the other two started painting a fence with it my daughter realised they were doing wrong so tried to put the lid back on the tin, in the mean time the mother came out, the two others ran away leaving my daughter to face the music. The mother then cornered my daughter and told her off so much that my daughter came home crying her eyes out and shaking like a leaf it took me an hour to calm her down. (i know my daughter was wrong but its my place to tell her off ). my husband went round and tried talking to this woman but all he got was that her daughter would never do anything like that ( said girl is often seen out until 9 30 on her own and is only 4 ) anyway after that incident this grown woman has taken to taunting my daughter, on the way home from school yesterday this cow of a woman was walking behind us and didnt say a word until we crossed the road where she started say things about my daughter, i couldnt say anything to her because i was to cross and would of ended up hitting the woman, im not a violent person but i was so wound up plus didnt want a slagging match in front of my little one. daughter saw her again last night and the cow started calling her spoilt. talking wont work this this woman she is a total fruit loop. what can i do my daughter walks past her house everyday.

[China Doll]

Sometimes I think some people should have a license in order to bear children! This woman sounds like a complete nut job to be taunting a kid this way... Anyway...

If it was me I think the best course would be for you and your daughter to document everything that happens, any abuse you or her get etc, also, if there are any witnesses too... hopefully it'll die down soon anyway but if after a month it hasn't then you can get in touch with the police, they should be able to do something about the harrassmant. I think if you go to them now they'll just say to document everything.

The more vindictive part of my nature says report her annoymously to social services for letting her 4 year old play outside til stupid o'clock unattended... obviously this is brainless idea that will cause more problems in long run!

[sherrardk]

Sorry - haven't really got an answer just wanted to say that she sounds completely bonkers! Couldn't your daughter walk home a different way so that she doesn't antagonise her? - Hopeflly, she would then find something else to waste her time on rather than picking on a little girl.

[loopyc]

to be honest i thought of social services then stopped myself! even if my daughter walked another way she would still see this woman as she lives very close to us, although our house has just gone on the market so thankfully we will be away from her soon. in the mean time i dont want my little girl being scared by some loon.

[Ms.Hijinx]

im sorry i have no such scruples as you i would beat the crap out of her and take my chance with the law and i would report her to the social and go to the papers-sorry know i shouldnt but my motto is scratch me draw your own blood theres too much shilly shallying in the world and no action you go girl and sort this creature out

[PinkFizz]

Hi Loopy.What a nightmare - your poor girl!! Apart from being very tempted to kick her face in,I would probably put a letter through her door(assuming she can read!!) and write exactly what did happen,and her despicable behaviour,and that you have logged every incident,and if there is one more you will pass everything onto the local police station and social services to deal with.

Big hugs to you and daughter,xx

[loopyc]

thanks pinky! ms hijinx and pink i really did want to hit her but she is the type that would do me for assult plus i could never do that in front of my daughter. writing a letter sounds like a good idea but i need to calm down a bit first so i dont stoop to her childish ways. it just amazes me that a mother of 38 could do this to a child.

[PinkFizz]

I would also photocopy the letter if possible and give a copy to the police anyway,that way she can't pretend she never got one,and tell teh police you will only take action if she carries on.xx

[andy-hughes]

The only way for you - and your daughter - to deal with this inadequate woman is to remove her power.

Her power is verbal intimidation, and the way to remove it from her is to totally ignore her.

Easier dais than done, i know, for your daughter who is frightened, and for you who want to protect her but ...

Ignoring this woman totally removes her ability to upset either of you, and her impotent fury will either have to be directed elsewhere, or it will have to fester insider her.

You will have a feeling of power, which you can pass on to your daughter as a valuable lesson - this woman is weak, you are both stronger.

It will take patience, calmness, and a little time, but it will work, believe me.

[loopyc]

thank you andy this is what i have been doing so far but it gets harder and harder every time my daughter hears this taunts, if it was just me it wouldnt bother me but as its my daughter she just riles me more and more.
sound advice as usual thank you.

[angeldraws]

You need to take this womans argument away.

When you are with your daughter and this woman kicks off with the taunts etc - jus tell your daughter loudly 'Don't worry darling, i promise you won't grow up like that!'

Personally i would go the police and speak to your community liaison officer and tell them, so it is on record. THEN start to document it all, otherwise they could assume you have it in for her and it is the other way round....

[angeldraws]

PS - does she really have 38 kids.......? Lol ;o*

[electricblue]

Havent read all replies sorry but i say go round there when kids arent about and put her on her sad ar$e,,and tell her thats from electricblue!!!
lol

[gedk]

I'm with electricblue and mrs hijinx on this one I'm afraid. If somebody intentionally upset my child I would "deal with them" no matter how loopy I thought they were. Next time she says something to your daughter I would very calmly walk over to her, warn her that a mother protecting her young is a very dangerous creature indeed and that if she so much as looks in your daughter's direction again you will sort her out. Tell her you have records of the verbal abuse she has given your daughter and that you will not hesitate to involve social services, the police and the local press if she doesn't stop.I would also warn her that you will inform the schoolheadmaster/mistress and all the other parents at the school of her behaviour. If that doesn't work then whisper to her very quietly that one day when she is on her own with no witnesses about and when she least expects it you will be waiting for her somewhere unexpected, tell her you'll leave the rest up to her imagination!!!! Or you could march right up to her, tell her that all bullies are cowards and that you find it really pathetic that she is only brave enough to pick on an 8 year old child, then invite her to pick on someone her own size (namely you) and see how she gets on.

Sorry to sound so aggressive but for a grown woman to purposely bully a small child is downright unacceptable and from what you have said she is obviously a sh1t mother as well. I know it's not the PC thing to do but the only way to deal with some people is to give them a good slap.

Sorry to have gone on but your post has really riled me!!!!!!

[loopyc]

thank you everyone for your replys and advice xxx

[Hellion]

How horrible for you and your daughter Loopy.

What this woman is doing is actually antisocial behaviour. Contact your Local Authority as most of them now have Antisocial Behaviour Officers - if they don't they should be able to direct you. You will need to keep a log as everone has said but with this evidence they can arrange to have the woman issued with an ASBO that will set down strict rules which she must adhere to - such as not speaking to you or your daughter. If she breaches the ASBO she can the be fined or even in severe circumstances imprisoned.