going back to my maiden name

[PinkFizz]

When I divorced my son's dad it was such a stressful time that I didn't even think about changing my name back to my maiden name - I just dropped the Mrs and became Miss.I altered this as well on my passport and bank account.But I think now is the time that I would like to go back to my maiden name.What I want to know it would this be fair on my little boy as I would then have a different name to him,or do you think this would be ok??

[naz_nomad]

My only experience of this is my sister ...she had 2 kids, got divorced, met her current guy (didn't marry), had another kid and registered the Dads surname...

He used to get asked at school...''why has you mum got a different name to you'', which used to upset him..

She wanted to change her name, but didn't want to upset the 2 older kids ...

What she did was change to a double-barrelled name..

Everybody's happy and I think it cost her about �50 at the solicitors...

So you could have the best of both world ...your old name, and your new one ... and your child won't be ''bullied'' over it.

[naz_nomad]

p.s. ... and if you have a double-barrelled name, it sounds a bit posh too

[PinkFizz]

Hi,thanks for the suggestion but I dont want my ex's name at all anymore - he is getting into a lot of trouble these days and I would rather not be connected with him name wise if I dont have to.

[naz_nomad]

I wonder if there's a legal way you can change your sons name without the fathers permission? ...

[redcrx]

Its more and more common nowadays for children to have different names to their mothers or fathers. My son has his fathers surname but perhaps one day i may have too. I still have my previous married name so that confuses matters further lol
If you change your name on legal documents could you ask his school if they could still refer to you as mrs so it doesnt encroach on his school life. Im sure it wont worry him though.
as an aside, the little girl next door to me was telling me the names of her brothers and sisters the other day. Each of them has a double barrelled name with mums and dads surname. Thing is, every one of the was different! I was shocked i have to say as there are 4 kids all under 6

[naz_nomad]

Just found this.

http://www.terry.co.uk/change_of_surname_01.ht ml

second from last paragraph ...


you need to show that it is in your sons best interest to change his name ...

worth a try

[PinkFizz]

naz_nomad - that's really interesting!! Thankyou!

[Drusilla1S]

This brings up an interesting point, PinkFizz. In a world of ever increasing divorces, it might be easier if we dropped the old, patriarchal system of adopting the husbands surname on marriage and exchanged it for the female surname. As most children of divorced couples stay with the mother, fewer children would experience this upset.

[PinkFizz]

exactly drusilla.At the moment in our house I have same surname as son,and b/f has different one.When I change name back there will be 3 surnames in house,and just say I have a child with b/f,well then we are back to square one again!!

[Pippa68]

How about changing your name to your b/fs? I did this, as I wasn't worried about my two children having a different name to me..they have regular contact with their dad, plus it is not so unusual for kids to have different surnames to their mums!

I changed mine as I knew I was going to have children with Mr Pippa and didn't want them to have my married name even for 5 minutes..to be honest though I wasn't bothered about having my married name for myself (like you I changed it to Miss).

I haven't helped much have I? LOL.

[Lawchem]

My daughter has her father's surname - apart from anything else, it sounds so much nicer than mine! :o)

[888sally888]

I have just got married and have changed my name to my hisbands as I really wanted to put the past behind me.

My 2 daughters have chosen to keep their orginal names for now with the option to take time and decide what to do.

And hopefully one day they will get hitched and change anyway (old fasioned to some people I know!!)