teenagers bedrooms

[mums the wor]

perpetual problem - how to ensure teenagers keep their rooms tidy. i have given up ironing their clothes cos they just get thrown in a heap - they now do their own - ironing basket always full!!, but still cothes, sweetpapers etc strewn all over floor. then when they can't find something i get the blame!!!

[vicki87]

being a teenager myself, my mum has the same problem. She makes sure i tidy my room by telling me im not allowed out or i can't go to a football match (i live for football) if I don't tidy my room. Just threaten to take away something your teenagers love to do!

[Loosehead]

I know what you mean. My son's room is in a state of total untidyness, in fact I'ts reached the stage where if you move somthing it tidies it up. I think it's worthy of scientific study! A sort of negative tidyness equilibrium.

[ugly_bob]

not untidy - organised chaos
allows you to see everything when it's spread out, so you don't spend time looking for things. Only when things are put away do they get lost.

[Ms.Hijinx]

my friend put all the stuff off the floor into her teenagers beds daily and refused to buy them any more up to date clothes cos they didnt look after the lot they had- it worked for her good luck

[Gevs1966]

Tell them that if they don't clear it up then you will throw it all out. If it still persists then do the following.

On the evening before your bins get collected, pick up everything off the floor in your teenagers room, put it into bin bags and leave by the front door ready to pe put out for collection. This sight will mostly get the job done but if not then the next time actually hide the bin bags full of clothes somewhere and tell them you have actually taken all their stuff to the charity shop to go to someone who would take more care of it. You could probably string this out a couple of days and watch as they squirm.

[agtweropi]

I agree with Vicki87 My mum use to stop me from going out until I tidyed it or stopped my pocket money that did work really well I couldn't handle not having any money.

[BlueHeaven]

Try http://www.flylady.net

If you do exactly as she says, you WILL be able to get your teenagers to look after their rooms properly. It'll take a while and you won't believe it all at first, but it is EXCELLENT! I have been using Flylady since last November and yes OK my daughter is only 8, but she's going on 15 and these days her bedroom is so immaculate it puts mine to shame!!!

Flylady suggests breaking the room down into 'zones', i.e. clothes, floor, desk, books, etc. and giving the child 15 minutes a day to do one zone. If they're not done after 15 minutes, it gets left for next time. It's amazing how much can get done in 15 minutes. If my 8 year old can look after her room, so can your teenagers. (Oh and my daughter's room was such a mess before, you couldn't even get the door all the way open!)

Imagine if someone came and told you to tidy up all your mess or you wouldn't get to do something you wanted to do. You wouldn't know where to start, especially if that person had given you a time limit. You'd be fighting a losing battle, getting stressed out and unhappy because you'd miss out on something good. According to Flylady the room didn't get that way overnight and it won't get clean overnight either.

If YOU get into flylady's ways around the whole house, your kids will eventually notice and start to do some of the things you do (saving you from doing it, imagine that!)

[fat rascal]

just don't open the door.........

[888sally888]

Easy - no clean and tidy room - no pocket money!! Works every time. I mus admit I do the washing and ironing and put it away but thats it.

And I take heart that I was a nightmare teenager mess wise and now I live in a clean and tidy home!!

[WendyS]

When we were children, my mother in desperation threatened to throw out all our bedroom junk onto the lawn if it wasn't tidied within 48 hours. Of course we didn't take her seriously. Imagine our dismay when we returned from school 2 days later and found all our precious items strewed out on the grass and the rain pouring down on them. We couldn't believe she would do it, but after that when she got the glint in her eye and told us to clean up our bedrooms or else.... we would take her at her word !

[mums the wor]

thanks for all the advice - i have tried most of them. trouble is pocket money/allowance can't be a carrot as she has a part-time job so funds herself. a counsellor told us and her thats its her space and she has responsibilty for it - ie if she can live with it then we should allow her to. i see the mess as a lack of respect for her personal belongings and and lack of self respect that she is happy to live in a pig sty. things have got worse since 6th form college - she had 6 months there and has dropped out. finally after getting her head together she is doing work experience in an office. she has always been such a lovely girl, and until 12 months ago i didn't quite believe all the horror stories you hear - we love her so much and are so grateful that she doesn't do drugs/sleep around etc but.......

[beejaybee]

If she`s got a part time job does she buy her own stuff, or do you buy her clothes etc? If you do, don`t. It`s right though, it is her "personal space", but as she`s living in your house, she should respect it. You could do what I did years ago. Go on strike. No cooking, cleaning, washing etc. Mine lived on cereal & pot noodles, but they DID change their attitude.

[toecrusher]

agree with fat rascal, close the door, if the little darlings want to live in a s??t tip, leave em to it!!!, i do.

[YvonneM]

Parents have control over all aspects of their children's lives let them have control of their bedroom don't expect them to do things to your standards can't you remember being a teenager Back off give them their own space their private space

[debsoutho]

My step son, lives in a pig sty, I know teenagers are teenagers but he takes the biscuit. I have two children from a previous marriage both in their teens and they werent as big as him. He is 19 and lazy. I do hid washing and then I find it strewn and walked over on the floor, so now when I do his washing - I dont even put any washing powder in, whats the point??

[tuibird]

My teenagers have a separate lounge which was beginning to resemble their bedrooms. I asked for a tidyup and nothing happened so the next night I went upstairs and said I am not cooking until this room is tidy.
I have NEVER seen my daughter move so fast. It was great, I got what I wanted and they got dinner. Everyone was happy.