Whats the problem, any suggestions?!

[molly_may]

My partner takes care of his 11 month old baby 3-4 days/nights a week, when we have him its extremely hard work! I understand its hard work raising a baby but he's 11 months old and at night wakes up every 2 hours for a bottle (8oz sma white). He wont sleep in his cot unless either me or my partner is in the room. If he is put down to play for more that 2 minutes he will cry his eyes out! My partners ex says she has never had problems and says he sleeps straight through the night, it is beginning to upset my partner as he feels he cant look after his son properly. Any suggestions, or possible causes of this different behaviour would be helpfull, he is perfectly well in health and has plenty of love and attention when we have him.

[redcrx]

It may just be change of scenery and the fact that his mummy isnt there. My son sleeps well at home but terribly at my mums house which we stay 2 nights every week and Im with him.

Does his mum give him a bottle every 2 hours through the night?

[molly_may]

She does, she gives him a bottle as soon as he cries, however surely by 11 months old he should be on less that 8 bottles a day ! I dont have children of my own so I dont like to give my opinion as I may not be right, plus its not really in my place to comment as its not my baby so its quite difficult.

[redcrx]

well 8 bottles seems excessive to me but then every baby is different. Mine was on 2 bottles at 11 months morning and bedtime only and proper food for rest of day.
You cant really change the routine but perhaps try giving cool boiled water when he wakes instead of milk.

[oceanauk]

It sounds a little like separation anxiety to me - he is only 11 months old and is staying in two different places - one without his mother. I'm not saying his father cannot look after him - he sounds amazing in fact (wish my son's father had done as much!!!) - I think the constant need for "feeding" is purely for the attention and security of knowing you're there. I'm assuming that when you pick him up or go into see him he's ok? If he carried on crying then that would be a health issue and as you say he's fine. Also babies do need a constant routine to feel safe and secure - again the changing environment just might be too much for him - it is nothing personal towards his Dad! I think it's great that you are concerned over this issue. May I suggest that you all of you sit down and decide on a routine that is the same at Mum's house as is it is at Dad's house eg bathtime will be at 6pm followed by singing a nursery rhyme in bed (just for example) so that baby feels the same things are happening at both places - does he have one particular cuddle-toy that he can keep with him or perhaps Mum's jumper so he can smell her? Hope this sounds ok! Well it's just a suggestion. My son didn't sleep for 2 years so I know what sleep deprivation is like and at the end of the day - it's all trial and error - none of us are experts. Good luck!

[JudgeJ]

As oceanauk says, none of us are experts, but you don�t need to be an expert to realise what the problem is here. It is obvious that the root cause of this problem is the fact that the child is spending half of each week living in one location and half in another. Try doing that yourself and see how you get on.

Instead of sitting down to discuss how the symptoms may be addressed you need to sit down and decide how the cause is going to be managed. It is completely unnatural for any child, let alone one so young, to live in this way. If the situation persists the behaviour that the child is demonstrating now will be but a drop in the ocean compared to that which he will develop as he gets older.

Children develop best when they have a settled life with regular routines. This child is being torn between two locations and two lots of people, week in, week out. He is unable to speak to express his frustration so it is not surprising that he shows some signs of distress. Worrying over whether he has six or eight bottles each day will not alleviate that. His parents need to put aside their own problems or preferences and arrange for their child to enjoy a more settled lifestyle.

[noll2themax]

when making up abottle decrease the scoops by one each night.if 8 ounces of water put in 7 scoops etc.when he realises its just water he is waking for he probebly wont bother