going out to play?

[yinyang]

Hello. I just wanted to get opinions from other parents on what age they let their children out to play on their own. Round here ( and it's not a 'bad' area ) about nursery age i.e 3 - 4 seems to be common. My two are four and a half and pretty young for their age - still definitely little girls and not very streetwise - and the thought of them roaming the streets fills me with dread. There's a boy, probably a bit younger than them, who keeps coming round and I just keep making up excuses!
So, am I just being a completely over-paranoid mum (probably) or do others agree that this is a little young to not know where your kids are?

[yinyang]

Ok, lou lou, I'm obviously being incredibly thick here but I still don't understand why you're saying things like' each to their own' when I am of EXACTLY the same opinion as you. In your original post were you agreeing with me or with whitbybabe? Because she seemed to think I was asking if people thought it would be ok for me to let my children out when in fact I was hoping people would agree with me that the idea of four year olds on the street was terrifying.
I'm really not trying to cause a fight, just to make clear my viewpoint. That's the problem with print - everything comes across as so black and white ( if you'll pardon the pun)

[loulou32]

When I say each to their own im referring to the parents of those kids who are hanging round on street corners, I dont agree with that, but I cant do anything about it, and everyone has different ideas! I just thought I was giving my opinion. If I have offended then that really was not my intention.

[yinyang]

sorry, loulou. now I get you! Like I said I'm a bit daft sometimes and it can be so easy to misunderstand what people say in cyberworld. We're obviously on the same side here but like you said, there is little we can do. Can't imagine the parents appreciating us telling them what we think, can you?
Please, no hard feelings?

[loulou32]

Glad thats cleared up! No hard feelings at all.

[lou 26]

we live in whats considered as a "nice" area. The kids of about 5 upwards are always playing in the street here. When i moved in i had a gate put up at the side of the house straight away so my 3 yr old can't get round to the front of the house. Everyone says its a lovely safe area to live but it only takes once for the "wrong" person to tempt her round the front of the house. I make sure the gate is locked at all times. 3/4 is much to young to play out in the street. They dont have enough sense of danger at that age

[Joefish999]

While I respect each and every one of the very personal and difficult decisions that you have all made about your children's safety and wouldn't dream of suggesting that anybody does anything that they are not comfortable with themselves............I do feel that such decisions should be made possibly from a more informed viewpoint than some of the knee-jerk reaction to media hype that some of your views sound like.
I have two young children myself and find it a constant battle with my concience to try and ignore the over exagerated media reports that would scare us all into keeping our children inside under our wings until they were 21. At the same time I accept that each sad case is in fact some parent's child.
That aside there are actual researched facts that would help a parent to decide at what age it might be safe to let a child play outside.
I can't find the actual research reference but this leaflet from a police force in Canada refers to it http://www.mjpolice.ca/pdfs/Child%20Pedestrian %20Safety.pdf
This suggests that before the age of 9 children are at a much greater risk from traffic than they might be at an older age, traffic being a much more real risk than the perceived risk from stranger danger or "the bogeyman".
This would suggest that unless you live in a very quiet traffic free street then to allow a child to play in a street unsupervised might not be the best practice.

[adviceneeded]

hi i have a 9 and 7 year old my 9 year old has been playing out nearby since last summer and i have just started letting him take his sister with him but they have to come back every hour to let me know wat there doing and that there ok but untill last year i didnt let them out of the garden i dont think your being paranoid i wouldnt let them out that young there are kids round here as young as 2 out till midnight sometimes but i guess some people are happy with that but anyway i think your doing the right thing

[yinyang]

Thanks people more good replies.
Joefish, you raise some good points. Obviously like all parents I'm worried about somebody hurting my girls. It's rare but it does happen and I think most people do adopt a 'better safe than sorry' policy.
However, the traffic is probably a much more direct threat. There's a roundabour in this street which once the boy racers come out in the evening , they really can speed round. At four children still can't predict how fast a car is coming or if they've enough time to cross. Also, if they've inherited my sense of direction they'll probably get lost as soon as they turn a corner.
So, I'm sticking to my instincts - the garden's good enough for now! x

[PinkFizz]

I live in a village in the middle of nowhere but I still wont let my 6 year old play outside our front garden,even thought he can see all the other kids in the road playing on their bikes,footie etc.A child can be snatched anywhere,and as I dont particularly like the kids that play outside I dont want him associating with them.He is allowed to play in the front garden and the back garden and I take him to the park if he wants to do more.

[ayla99]

I didn't let mine out til about 8 yrs old - when I could trust them to cross the road safely & come home at the agreed time. They each have their own mobile phone & have to tell me where they are going & who they are with each time they go out.

[mick1]

Well just to let you know this it might seem a bit scary to all parents out there but whilst my partner was having his haircut oneday the barber he gets on with, told him that a police officer who was also a father. who was looking 4 a house to buy breeched his power as a police officer to find a street in nottingham without a pedophile living on it this took the officer 9 months to find 1 street were there was no registered pedphile living. Just remember that a pedophile dosent have to be a dirty old man but also young peple and females too. just like the other story that has been in papers about 3 adults. 2males 1 female knocking on doors that they have seen children going into and acting like they are from social services where they end up taking pictures of YOUR kids.
So please be very aware and no your definatly not being to overprotective