moral

[mnko]

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment:
Get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.
''What's the morale of that story ?'' asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?" "Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then
she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified
teacher, ''what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f**k away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking

[fee-is-me]

Is there a question...?

[4getmenot]

No it seems today body and soul is called 'tell a joke'

[redcrx]

aww 4getmenot, yesterday seemed to be bang heads together day so why not jokes today?
I actually found it amusing, thanks mnko

[makemesmile]

lol! you monkey!

[4getmenot]

It did make me laugh though because the joke mentioned eggs and chickens, all the adverts at the side are trying to sell me chickens or help me fertilize my chicken eggs :-)

[fee-is-me]

Oh well spotted 4getmenot!!

Lol...

[spurslady]

Cheers for that its cheered me up by making me laugh!!

[puzzled54]

Well that made me laugh, thanks.

[PinkFizz]

Very funny! god knows where you get all these stories!!

[angeldraws]

I got one for you:-

A millionaire was on his death bed in his final hours and he called to his butler. 'Shamus....,' he said, '...you have been a loyal servant...you have served me well for 35 years.....you have always been helpful and guided me well when i have asked of you.....i am very grateful to you Shamus and i will give you Langley Hall - it is a fine mansion with 25 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, a banquet hall and 15 acres of land....and a quarter of my money when i am dead - this will see you and your family thru for the rest of your days...now send in Marjorie....''
'Oh thank you, kind sir' said the butler, 'I certainly will...thank you thank you, sir...'
The housekeeper entered as requested. The millionaire said to her 'Marjorie, you have been a good servant to me for the last 40 years...you have fed me watered me and catered for my guests and my every need...you have never once let me down with your nutritional and fine banquets. I will give you Seaton Hall, it has been in my family for generations - it has 15 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and you can also have a quarter of my money when i am dead...please send in Billy.....'
'Oh but sir, i dont want you to leave us.....but thank you, thank you sir.....' She did as she was bid and sent in Billy.
The millionaire said to Billy 'Billy, you have been useless all the 5 years you have been my stable hand....you have burnt down my stables...you have frightened away all my horses - you have tried to seduce my housekeeper AND my Butler, I am disgusted with you Billy.....I am going to give you Bugg3r all....'
Billy replied 'Sir, How many rooms does that have....?!!!!'

Boom boom........