Friendships

[Lilpeat]

My daughter who is 10 has a friend who is making her choose between her and another girl. My daughter is very upset and feels that she is now caught in the middle of two girls who have issues with each other. My good friend is the mom of the girlfriend making my daughter choose. In her words "either you stop talking to that girl or I am not your friend anymore". My question is do I talk to my friend about her daughter and what she is doing to my daughter. Or do I let it work out itself. I have been giving my daughter advice which I told her she could use or not. thank you

[meltoadhall]

i find this happens a lot. i would suggest that your daughter says she will not choose and behaves the same with both friends.
easier said than done i know, let them work it out.

[ganesh]

You have to let them sort it out,but this threesome girl thing is extremely common. My own daughter went through it several times especially Year 6&7. I don't know how many times I heard,"I'm not gonna be your friend if.......".
The only thing you can do is support her when the tears start. I'ts not much different at 'big school' either and it usually gets bitchier!

[ganesh]

If this girl's mum is a very good friend of yours then you could certainly mention it, but it doesn't pay to get involved,believe me.I think that the girl who is making demands is the one to be ditched,don't you?, and maybe your daughter should just carry on playing with the other one and see what happens.
See,I've got involved now!! In six months time she'll probably hate them both and have different friends.

[janetsflower]

I would suggest that if the girls who is making demands doesn't get her own way by doing so she wll quickly stop when she realises that your daughter and the other girls will be friends either with or without her, but quite how you explain that to a 10 year old is a different matter, however i suggest you don't lose too much sleep over it because politics amongst children change very quickly. I would mention it to the demanding girls mum but in a very light hearted manner. many times adults can end up falling out about things going on between their kids and the kids make up really easily but its not so easy when you are grown up to go round and ask if you can make friends!!