violent female partner

[burt one]

a male freind of mine recently admitted to his partner that he was sending flirty texts to another woman, his partner then got very violant and abusive towards him, they have a 18month old daughter together and she uses her as a pawn saying that if she leaves him or he leaves her he will never se his daughter again! the trouble is on monday she beat him and threated that her family will also get him she has also threatned the girl who he was texting! he is so scared of leaving her not only for what she might physicaly do to him but the threat of taking his daughter is too much for him! as usual not many people know about the abuse as he is a 30 year old man and doesnt feel that he can talk to anyone. any advice?

[burt one]

sorry should have mentioned that this isn't the first time that she has been violant! and no i am not either person in question!

[miacat]

Hi Burt, sorry no-one has felt the urge to answer your question (until now!) I would advise exactly the same as if a woman had complained about an abusive partner (and you can bet your bottom dollar there would have been hundreds of replies for her!) which is to go straight to the local health centre and find out about support grups in his area then seek advice from a solicitor. I have no personal experience in this matter but I'm sure that talking to others in the same situation would help him a great deal. My thoughts are with him and his daughter.

[ollie06]

I think your friend should seek for professional advice a.s.a.p. (maybe from a solicitor or citizens advice) and find where he stands when it comes to access. Obviously this is his priority above all else. Maybe if somebody professional could reasure him on his rights he would be able to concentrate on getting away from his partner, as a violent situation is awful for all involved and he won't want this to affect his children either. He should also seek advice from the police as this type of abuse is unexcusable regardless of sex.
I wish your friend all the luck and hope he gets sorted.

[FlowerPetal]

Burt, There is also the possibility that custody could be granted to him due to her violent behaviour - she obviously cannot control her temper and who's to say that she wouldnt lose it with a toddler?

Get your mate to talk to a Solicitor ASAP and move into a place of safety. The Police can refer him to the local Victim Support Group who can put him in touch with a local refuge.

If the violence really worries him and he's worried his partner may harm his baby, get him to take his daughter with him! The Police take a really dim view of spousal abuse and will deal with it professionally and will take his and his childs best intrests into consideration.

P.S, if he does take this further, the Social Services WILL be involved, so prepare him for that as well - hence my recommendation to contact a solicitor ASAP>

Good Luck
Flower xx