indirect contact

[please]

i was in a very long and abusive relasionship with my first childs dad how is a drug addic. when i was 14 he gave me drugs such asheroin and lost of other stuff the list is to long to write.when my son was born things got bad i had to get away my son dose not know the men . when i left i gave up my old live and became a christian nd got married to a wonderful man.there has been court for about 5 years now due to him going in and out of prison, i became very ill my wight whent down to6 stone and i have been suvering with depresion and panic attacks so the court gave my a year to get treatment and gave him indirect contact on my sons birthday,christmas pluss 4 letters he also had to stay out of trubble which he has not done.i need to now that as he hasnt forfilled his indirect contact of the 4 letters becouse the christmas and birthday was 1year ago and he has not herd from this stranger that has just sent a present a year later can i send it back(by the way it didnt come strate to my house as he is not aloud to now where i live) please help me i have court in feb and ijust whant to protect my 8 year old baby from a dangeres man . it is 3,40am this is borthering me

[kate1976]

I'm not legally minded so the advice I'm going to give could be useless but do you have a solicitor dealing with the case? If so I guess he or she should be able to advise you on what to do. If not then maybe you should write a letter to the judge or maybe have a meeting with the person at court who you shall be dealing with and explain all that has happened.

Good luck and well done on turning your life around.

[please]

thank you for your advice, inow there is not much that can be done about this problem, ijust get so upset that he can still abues me but this time through the courts and legal aid which must now come to a big bill of �33,000 it is sick as he has been in and out of prison during this time incuring more legal aid , he also has baby twins that he is now useing lage aid to suport this(he was filent to the mum of the twins as well ,he is very maliplating even to the courts i am trapt thakyou for lisring to me it h

[FlowerPetal]

I REALLY think you need to get the advice of a solicitor.
If your EX has been in and out of prison and has not forfilled his duty to provide the 4 letters, then it may seem that the court will take a very dim look and either give him another chance to change (don't want to worry you) or cut contact altogether.
I wouldn't send the present back without talking to your solicitor first - as that may be seen by the court as being difficult (although you have every reason to be)
You havent said if you have managed to get the treatment you need hun? i really hope that you have and that you have found a great benefit in it? If you have, then this will definately go in your favour in court as you have managed to provide a stable and loving home for your child.

good luck and try and stay positive for all of your sakes

Flower xx

[MustangLady]

Good Luck honey, I am in no way authorised or knowledgable on legal things. But would suggest (as others have done before me) to seek professional legal advice .. you have turned your life around as you wanted to and I hope it stays for the better. You sound like a very loving parent who only wants the best for her child, I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep clean, keep wise & keep positive. Best Wishes for 2007 - you go girl !!!! MustandLady x x

[chonge70]

i had a very similar experience with my sons father, luckly for us because the court system takes so long he got bored of it. i managed 2 go back 2 court and get whats called a prohibited steps order against him which kept him away from my son. ask your solicitors advice, he will know and understand it better. the other people who turned up trumps 4 me were social services (believe it or not), they recommended 2 the court that my son would stand a better chance with his father out of his life. good luck hun, you sound like a brill mum, dont give up, keep fighting!

[please]

thank you all for advice, ihave had the CBT and it has help me in alot of ways but i find it hard to put it all in to practice, as i am going back to court in feb and i have to deal with the stuff that comes up just before a case,It made me very ill before and it has started again i am not sleeping much and when i do i have nightmers about my past and things that could happen to my kids becouse this man is dangeras and becouse the courts think that dads should see there kids,i can not controll my dreams i wish i could. it is all afecting my famliy i realy whont them all to have a happy home but they notice when mum is sad and that mum is not eating properly again. and i do not have s-services involfed. thankyou all it helps to talk to other people that understand.