How do I tell my colleagues I am....

[muchlovex]

How do I tell my colleagues I am a gay?

I work for a large company in Scotland and I have been moved departments, who I told that I was a gay women . They were quite shocked as I certainly don't 'look' gay. (sorry, if I've offended anybody by saying that. It's just that most people stereotype Gay women).

In my new dept' I work with mainly women and they are starting to ask about my BF, as I always refer my girlfriend as Partner. They just assume that my Partner is a Man. Anyway, I am wondering what the best way to say to my colleagues that I am indeed gay and about to have a Civil Partnership Ceremony in a few weeks?

I can't lie to them as some of them may have already heard from gossip. I was wondering whether I should just start saying my partners name rather than saying 'my partner' and then they might realise.

I don't want to be put in a situation whereby they ask me a Q in front of lots of my colleagues - I don't want to have to lie about my situation.
Please note, this is note because I am ashamed I who I am.
I know they will all be ok once they find out albeit, rather shocked at the news.
A while ago my boss (who has knownme since I was a small child), asked me if I was had a BF and I said no. I feel terrible for lying and did not think that that percise moment was appropraite to say 'well her name is ...'.

My new dept' is full of women and my new boss is a women and they all talk about their husbands and children etc... do you think I should tell them despite other people in the company knowing?

TIA

[cruella]

Hi muchlovex
I cannot even begin to imagine the torment you are going through just now, but I would just tell them and be done with it.
It is nothing to be ashamed of. Think the idea of telling them your partner's name is a good way to break the ice.
People are more accepting than you think and to be honest, some of them have probably guessed.
I am happily married, not gay, but it would not bother me in the least. You should not be ashamed of who or what you are.
Why not bring your partner into work and introduce her to everyone.
Good luck anyway. Hope it all works out for you.

[originalang]

Hi muchlovex
It must be awful not to feel able to be yourself and join in the chat about partners. I agree with cruella, about mentioning her name, and then just include her in your everyday conversation. I think you need to do it as soon as possible so you can relax, settle into your new department and be able to look forward to your civil ceremony. I wish you both every happiness for the future

[freak_unique]

Hey, i went through this at one workplace when i (a female) was dating my now ex girlfriend, and had to keep refering to her as my partner and trying everything possible not to say he or she! I could never of told the people i worked with there though, they were so clicky...In the end, i told a supposed friend who worked there who i thought was a pretty good friend, I left that place a couple of months later to find out she had told them anyway! I agree with the other 2 answers and that you should just mention your partners name in conversation and say how they will have to meet her...or maybe even use your ceremony as a chance to tell them and ask them to come out for a few drinks after?
Hope it all goes well :) x

[ludwig]

Just tell it to one person. By the end of the day, the whole office will know so you won't have to worry about it any more.

[MrLatin]

Put a picture of you and her hugging on your desk :)

[scooping]

Do you honestly believe many others give a monkey about your sexuality? Have a nice day and get over yourself.