step back

[wendilla]

My grandson was 4 end of jan.For few months now all has been well with toilet .But a few times been caught just in the act of haveing a poo and when you say "what you doing "he says "nothing "We can't think of anything that has caused this set back.Doesn't happen every time .Any ideas what might be going on. Thanks

[angeldraws]

I'm not sure this question is entirely clear if you don't mind me saying......

are you saying that he wants to poo just 'anywhere'....and gets caught, or dya mean something entirely different....?

[winny]

My daughter did exactly this and started hiding to do her poos. Then she seemed to hold on to them that long they were huge and hurt. Health visitor said loads kids do this. It is something to do with a bad poo that hurt makes them afraid to go. Make sure he drinks loeds water or juice so they are not hard or too large and encourage him to go to the loo. Dont make a scene about it though it will make him more paranoid. If he is 4 yyou could try and ask him what has happened to make him not go to the loo properly like a big boy. Explain it make you sad.
We did have medicine in the end to sofen poo from doc as it got out of hand. Once we got over the its going to hurt and convinced her it would stop hurting if she pushed it out and the poo had been soft so it didnt hurt she got back to normal.
Sorry to be graffic and ramble but I know it reallu uppset us at the time. Get him checked by gp or health visitor if you are too worried though.

[Dusty Bin]

If he says "nothing", react by showing quasi-disappointment, eg. "Ohhhhh! Shame. I thought you were doing a poo. Never mind. Maybe next time."

[wendilla]

Thank you all for your replies and to WINNY that is exactly what is happening.He used to hold his wee as well and wouldn't use a toilet when we go out but we have got over that but he won't have a poo in another toilet he holds that.We don't scold him so will just have to keep talking and explaining to him.He don't do it everytime.Thanks all.

[MORELLO]

You say 'caught having a poo' like he's doing something wrong. If you know what he's doing, why the need to ask him? Would you like to be asked what you're doing every time you sit on the toilet?
If he's happy taking himself off and going the toilet by himself with no complaints whilst doing so, good on him, clever lad, leave him to it...

[wendilla]

MORELLO.I don't think you have taken the time to study my question.If you read I stated that for about a few months all has been well with toilet and was wondering if other parents have had this set back as I said it doesn't happen every time .People are so ready to slap people down on this site by not reading the question properly.

[MORELLO]

The only set back is gran'ma sticking her head round the door asking what he's doing!
In my parental experience, putting a child on the spot by continually enquiring what they're doing breeds denial and prevents self expression and development...

[wendilla]

You just don't get it do you .I asked for advice from other parents that have had this same problem and I don't stick my head round the door every time looking , you make me sound like an interfering busy body. Not returning with another reply.