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i am 16 years old and having hell at home so can i legally move out?
22 Answers
i am 16 years of age and i have a 28 year old boyfriend. i am very much in love with him and 100% certain he feels exactly the same about me. He has given up alote of things to be with me including getting the sack. And i have given up a few things too. i just want to know can i legally move in with him without my parents consent and what are my options financially. i cant bare it any longer at home with all the things my mum and stepdad have said about him. Also my aunty has said a few really spiteful things including a txt saying "ur mum doesnt deserv a little bitch like u" as you can see i have got to get away.
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To be perfectly frank with you, I agree with your auntie. Your boyfriend is a pervert and you are acting like a spoilt brat. Your attitude about running away and moving in with someone nearly twice your age demonstrates how very immature you are. Grow up! Your parents have looked after you for 16 years and you treat them like this? Ridiculous.
I'm a similar age to you.. & just can't see why you would want to chuck your life away. The age difference between you & your boyfriend just seems unreal, and you may think he is the love of your life... but getting the sack to impress you isn't reallly too smart.. Everybody goes through phases of hating the mum and dad, come on who doesn't?.. & althought you probably think they hate you.. They really don't!.. They have spent all your live looking after you.. & for you to run of with someone nearly double your age must be breaking there heart! I hope everything works out for you!
Turtle Faice x
Turtle Faice x
Hye Jessica,
My daughter is 15 and a half.
I have to say that I can't understand why a 28 year old man would want to go out with a 16 year old girl other than being able to have complete control over her. He is either a very immature man or verging on being a pedophile.
I would be very concerned if my daughter wished to go out with a man of that age.
My daughter is 15 and a half.
I have to say that I can't understand why a 28 year old man would want to go out with a 16 year old girl other than being able to have complete control over her. He is either a very immature man or verging on being a pedophile.
I would be very concerned if my daughter wished to go out with a man of that age.
why on earth are you asking our permission? if you feel this strongly you would have moved out before. On the other hand I think you know that this is a daft idea and you're just flattered that an older man has shown an interest.
financially get a job seems the obvious answer or you could get yourself pregnant, watch for the dust as he runs a mile and then go back to your parents and live off the state.
alternativly, stay at school, get good results and make a decent life for yourself.
think about the fact that when you are 21 he will be 33 and when you want to go clubbing and enjoy your youth, he will most likely be wanting to settle down, because he's already been there, done that.
he probably brags about the fact that he can pull a 16 year old to his mates.
financially get a job seems the obvious answer or you could get yourself pregnant, watch for the dust as he runs a mile and then go back to your parents and live off the state.
alternativly, stay at school, get good results and make a decent life for yourself.
think about the fact that when you are 21 he will be 33 and when you want to go clubbing and enjoy your youth, he will most likely be wanting to settle down, because he's already been there, done that.
he probably brags about the fact that he can pull a 16 year old to his mates.
If he really loves you and you him... then you can wait until you BOTH are finacially better off, there is no hurry... (( i personally think its about the sex myself)) after all your parents wouldnt allow it under thier roof ( which i agree with) and if hes any sort of man he would be working and trying to surport you both, and not looking for a school girl girlfriend.. as posted before you need to grow up and get real and he needs locking up! Let me know how it goes in 10 years time then i give you another answer...
Jessica - I know the previous replies have been a little harsh but I have to say I agree with them. I'm not going to shout at you - I'm just going to ask you to read my reply and think hard about it.
I know you say "I've got to get away" but have you thought about what you're running to?
You feel you are old enough to cope with a 28 yr old boyfriend so you should be old enough to take a long hard look at the situation.
Has he got another job yet?
Is he seriously looking for one?
Has he got a roof to put over your head? If not, why not?
Look carefully at the reasons he got the sack.
Imagine you are a mum and ask what your reaction would be if the daughter you loved wanted to do what you are thinking of doing?
What does the future hold for you?
Scared? Honestly, I would be. And if you're not then you should be.
Think long and hard before you make such a very big decision.
And, finally, if you're having a sexual relationship make sure you are acting sensibly and using contraception. If he loves you as much as you think, he will also be encouraging you to do this.
Please - think really hard
I know you say "I've got to get away" but have you thought about what you're running to?
You feel you are old enough to cope with a 28 yr old boyfriend so you should be old enough to take a long hard look at the situation.
Has he got another job yet?
Is he seriously looking for one?
Has he got a roof to put over your head? If not, why not?
Look carefully at the reasons he got the sack.
Imagine you are a mum and ask what your reaction would be if the daughter you loved wanted to do what you are thinking of doing?
What does the future hold for you?
Scared? Honestly, I would be. And if you're not then you should be.
Think long and hard before you make such a very big decision.
And, finally, if you're having a sexual relationship make sure you are acting sensibly and using contraception. If he loves you as much as you think, he will also be encouraging you to do this.
Please - think really hard
When you were 10, he was 22 - now consider the age difference and what HIS true motive is. Whether you like it or not, whether you beleive it or not, he is sexually perverse and has paedophilic tendencies. If you were my daughter, he wouldn't get within a hairs breadth of you. I don't know your background, but the fact that you are so alienated from your mum (where's dad?) clearly shows you are desperate for love - this guy has homed in on your vunerability honey. You need to talk to a counsellor/close friend as to why you think you need this man's attention. You don't. Your aunty is wrong for calling you names - she should be a shoulder to cry on really. Don't think you have to get away - you don't, but you do need to be talking to someone impartial. Good luck
Hi Jessica,
I imagine that most of the answers so far are just variations on the things you hear everyday and this is what you actually want to run away from, because it is giving you a lot of stress..... am I right?
You probably think it will 'all be perfect' when you are together with your boyfriend and, for a few days or weeks, it probably will be.
At some point, most likely when the money runs out, you'll have no choice but to face true reality and think about the costs of rent, food, bills, etc and also the domestic reality, in terms of living with somebody and not having Mum to tidy up - that means being very responsible and also means getting a job to pay your way. I dont know him obviously, but it sounds as though your bf has got a casual attitude to work - and that wont always pay the rent.
continued...........
I imagine that most of the answers so far are just variations on the things you hear everyday and this is what you actually want to run away from, because it is giving you a lot of stress..... am I right?
You probably think it will 'all be perfect' when you are together with your boyfriend and, for a few days or weeks, it probably will be.
At some point, most likely when the money runs out, you'll have no choice but to face true reality and think about the costs of rent, food, bills, etc and also the domestic reality, in terms of living with somebody and not having Mum to tidy up - that means being very responsible and also means getting a job to pay your way. I dont know him obviously, but it sounds as though your bf has got a casual attitude to work - and that wont always pay the rent.
continued...........
My advice would be to, firstly, try and cool things down at home, by talking with your parents in an adult manner and understanding, calmly, each other feelings. If you do well, It may be possible to reach a compromise where you stay at home but they let you see your bf, within mutually agreeable reasonable conditions.
This way, you get no risk of being hurt, in debt, used or otherwise upset and your parents keep their peace of mind. People in your family are only reacting strongly because they care, one day you will see that, I promise.
It may well be that after a few weeks, you get bored of him, or he may lose interest. It is best to let a relationship run for a a year or so before making the of commitment of living together- that just protects you from making big mistakes!
When you feel as though you are in love, advice is rarely listened to, unless it it what you want to hear. So you may ignore everybody and do your own thing anyway. I hope you dont do this and I hope that you realise that there must be 'something' in the sheer volume of the objections to your plan! Ask yourself 'why' they are doing it and you will see that it all boils down to the fact that they actually care.
Failing all that, Mammars advice was great, think about what she said a lot!
Good luck
Mammar
This way, you get no risk of being hurt, in debt, used or otherwise upset and your parents keep their peace of mind. People in your family are only reacting strongly because they care, one day you will see that, I promise.
It may well be that after a few weeks, you get bored of him, or he may lose interest. It is best to let a relationship run for a a year or so before making the of commitment of living together- that just protects you from making big mistakes!
When you feel as though you are in love, advice is rarely listened to, unless it it what you want to hear. So you may ignore everybody and do your own thing anyway. I hope you dont do this and I hope that you realise that there must be 'something' in the sheer volume of the objections to your plan! Ask yourself 'why' they are doing it and you will see that it all boils down to the fact that they actually care.
Failing all that, Mammars advice was great, think about what she said a lot!
Good luck
Mammar
I actually disagree with the posts so far,and I am a Mum of a 16 yr-old girl.
I think you are all very 'ageist' and this 28 yr-old may be a very nice man. They are both adults (able even to marry and have children if they want) and both human beings and the only reason I would be worried is because of this kind of attitude which she will have to face if she continues with this relationship.
We do not become so different with age and it sounds like he may be a bit 'immature' in dating a 16yr-old but so what?It does not make him a paedophile, 16 year old girls are very grown-up these days. If they love each other then it's cool. I would rather my daughter went out with a nice 28yr-old than a 17yr old idiot that is more likely to brag about her to his mates,and more likely to hurt her.
Most teenagers have problems with parents,Jessica, and I think you should think very carefully about what you're doing. This relationship may or may not last,even though you're obviously in love at the moment.
Your Mum is angry and upset because she loves you and is worried about you. Try and talk it out with your Mum ,and also with your boyfriend.
I'm not totally sure about the legal side of things but it really would be better if you could patch things up and stay at home at least until you have finished school,and preferably until you're 18. Your 'Aunty' has got nothing to do with it so ignore the nasty comments.
My advice would be the same whether this guy was 18 or 28!!
I think you are all very 'ageist' and this 28 yr-old may be a very nice man. They are both adults (able even to marry and have children if they want) and both human beings and the only reason I would be worried is because of this kind of attitude which she will have to face if she continues with this relationship.
We do not become so different with age and it sounds like he may be a bit 'immature' in dating a 16yr-old but so what?It does not make him a paedophile, 16 year old girls are very grown-up these days. If they love each other then it's cool. I would rather my daughter went out with a nice 28yr-old than a 17yr old idiot that is more likely to brag about her to his mates,and more likely to hurt her.
Most teenagers have problems with parents,Jessica, and I think you should think very carefully about what you're doing. This relationship may or may not last,even though you're obviously in love at the moment.
Your Mum is angry and upset because she loves you and is worried about you. Try and talk it out with your Mum ,and also with your boyfriend.
I'm not totally sure about the legal side of things but it really would be better if you could patch things up and stay at home at least until you have finished school,and preferably until you're 18. Your 'Aunty' has got nothing to do with it so ignore the nasty comments.
My advice would be the same whether this guy was 18 or 28!!
I sometimes wish that we had the facility to be able to briefly "fast forward" our lives a few years because I really suspect that if you could do this and be 26, you would look back in horror at how emotionally undeveloped you were and how naive you still are in your way of handling personal relationships. Of course you feel you are very much in love with your boyfriend, but I'm asking myself what a chap of 28 would be doing having a relationship with somebody who is little more than a child. Can't he find anybody his own age? He should know that you are not yet emotionally mature and that in two or three years, your passion for him will probably have died, or vice versa. If you can't support yourself and are not earning you don't have any financial options because the State (and taxpayers like me) won't support you, and if he's got the sack it doesn't sound as if he's going to be able to support himself, let alone you. Please just try and give your parents and aunt the benefit of the doubt and don't try and do anything dramatic. Not only will you ruin your relationship with your family, you could well possibly end up ruining your own life as well for somebody who is not going to feature in it longterm, (however much you may believe this at the moment). Take several deep breaths and work out a compromise.
thats sick why would a 28 year old want to get with someone your age,you are being used!!!!!just be careful you dont end up pregnant then your life would well and truly be over.........what would happen if you did move in with him and things didnt turn out,would your parents have you back and is it worth all the trouble and heartache to them....At the end of the day, your family are only looking out for you. If he loves you , you should not have to move out. Take your time and give it say 6 months, if you are still so keen. Then talk to your parents and see if they can understand it all from your point of view.
I can't believe your over-reaction.Jessica has asked (quite mature I think) a reasonable question about the legality of leaving home at 16 and everyone 'including her family, has jumped down her throat and accused a 28 year old (hardly a dirty old man) of practically being a paedophile.
Many 16 year-olds have got jobs and are quite mature enough to have a serious relationship.
He may or may not be just after her for sex,it doesn't sound like it,from what I see and hear most 16 year girls are very experienced (unfortunately) in that department. She may be young but she is still old enough to marry and have kids .
Divorce rates are incredibly high and most 'relationships' don't work out,and that's usually when partners are roughly the same age. But who's to say whether theirs won't last,and so what if it doesn't.
Yes,she'll get hurt,but I expect there'll we many guys her own age that will break her heart later on.
I would advise staying at home until 18 but maybe it really would be better if she moved out.
The issue should be how to try and sort it out with her Mum,and answer her question,not moralise about a man you don't know.
Many 16 year-olds have got jobs and are quite mature enough to have a serious relationship.
He may or may not be just after her for sex,it doesn't sound like it,from what I see and hear most 16 year girls are very experienced (unfortunately) in that department. She may be young but she is still old enough to marry and have kids .
Divorce rates are incredibly high and most 'relationships' don't work out,and that's usually when partners are roughly the same age. But who's to say whether theirs won't last,and so what if it doesn't.
Yes,she'll get hurt,but I expect there'll we many guys her own age that will break her heart later on.
I would advise staying at home until 18 but maybe it really would be better if she moved out.
The issue should be how to try and sort it out with her Mum,and answer her question,not moralise about a man you don't know.
-- answer removed --
Hi Jessica,
Firstly, I'm sorry that things are not so good at home. I can only offer advice so here it is:
Sit down with your mum and explain how you feel about your fella, after all she is your mum, and will probably be very understanding. As your still under 18 your parents are still your legal guardians. It is still illegal for you to sign financial agreements or buy alchohol... lots of things that you are underage to do....are you still in school, does your partner have a job? Make a list of the positives and negatives things of living at home and then another one for living with your boyfriend. Think about the future too. What would happen if you broke up with your boyfriend a few months down the line, would you be able to afford to live somewhere on your own...You would have rent, utility bills food and then travel to and from work, as your too young to drive... There is a drop in centre for young people called conexions, pop in and see what advise they can give you. At the end of the day I'm sure your mam just has your best interests at heart. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.
Firstly, I'm sorry that things are not so good at home. I can only offer advice so here it is:
Sit down with your mum and explain how you feel about your fella, after all she is your mum, and will probably be very understanding. As your still under 18 your parents are still your legal guardians. It is still illegal for you to sign financial agreements or buy alchohol... lots of things that you are underage to do....are you still in school, does your partner have a job? Make a list of the positives and negatives things of living at home and then another one for living with your boyfriend. Think about the future too. What would happen if you broke up with your boyfriend a few months down the line, would you be able to afford to live somewhere on your own...You would have rent, utility bills food and then travel to and from work, as your too young to drive... There is a drop in centre for young people called conexions, pop in and see what advise they can give you. At the end of the day I'm sure your mam just has your best interests at heart. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.
Dont listen to them at all. I am in the exact same boat as you are. Im 16 and my boyfrined is 28. I love him as much as he loves me. I agree. Im trying to move out to just to be with him. Do whatever your heart tells you and dont let anyone put you down. You can email me [email protected] if you want to talk more about it.
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