My son won't poop in the potty

[Rycon's Mom]

My almost 4 year old refuses to poop in the toilet. We have tried everything!! My friends and family say he will do it when he is ready but we have had enough already!! Any suggestions?

[Jadam]

Have you tried leaving him on his own. My three year old wouldn't go until we started leaving him on his own. I would put him on and stand outside the door and then he would call me when he was finished and i would help him down. I think he just liked his privacy.

[Rycon's Mom]

We have tried everything and I mean everything!!

Bribes, gifts, charts, treats, taking away stuff and he really does not seem to care.

He has seen all of us use the potty and how easy it is but he still won't do it. He gets really excited when we "go" though!!

I am at my wits end!!

[tradey]

my 3yr old use to be like that,everytime she went to the toilet to do a poo she would scream and scream at the thought of having to do it on there,i went out got her some of her own bottom wipes,her own hand wash within two days she loved getting on it to do her number 1s good look

[Rycon's Mom]

Thanks for the advice Tradey but we have already tried your adivce with no results. Ryan really just does not care if he gets a treat or a new toy or movie it is just not a big deal to him to poop in his pants/pull-up.

[tiny e.a]

Hmmm, I sympathise, have you spoken to a doctor/health visitor about it? They should be able to offer some constructive advise, I'm sure he will do it when he's ready but I can see why you would want him doing it now, I assume he's at nursery and will be in scholol soon and I can imagine you want him toilet trained by then. I would speak to a doctor.

[burt one]

hi, really feel for you! my daughter (3) and my nephew (4) were exactly the same! my daughter suffers from constipation and as you can imagine because she WOULDNT go at ALL it just made things 10 times worse when she did! in the end i bought syrup of figs and told her that if she didnt go she would have to take it every day! soon worked after alot of tantrums but she will only poo when i am busy and not watching her she now tells me 'you clean up mummy' so that although i am in the room i am not watching her! with my nephew we just ignored him when he went in his nappy and every time that one of us went to the toilet we made a big fuss of how clever we are! took along time but because he wasnt getting the attention from being told off he started using the toilet, (but neither of them will have a trainer seat!) hope that you find something that works! good luck!

[ALLO5775]

take away his pull ups and or diapers. tell him only babies poo in them. put him in big boy undies. if he poo's in them tell him how disapointed you are with him.

my 2nd child, autumn -2, is potty training. and shes a stuborn one if i might say. well when she pooed in her pull-up/panties i told her how upset i was with her. i told her she was a big girl and big girls don't do that.

this afternoon after her nap she was banging on the door. when i opened it she screamed she had to poo, and flew to the potty.
i give her high fives when she goes on the potty, and tell her how proud i am of her.

don't get me wrong, this is gonna take time. be consistant with him!!!!!!!
don't give up. it's not easy. i know!

[aims1202]

cant believe what some people have told you to do! A lot of children are anxious about doing poos in toilet or potty. First thing you must do is to get rid of pull ups and put proper pants on.
My son was very young when we potty trained him (20mths) so it is a bit different. It might be a bit harder for you as hes a little older but its still possible, just be positive!
My son was worried at first, only about poos so i was just really relaxed about it and didnt try to persuade him or get him to do it. I gave him lots of attention playing with him lots.
I would then look out for the signs he was going to do a poo and either catch it in the potty or put him on the toilet. Then when he saw it in there i would say, well done you got it the potty ,clever boy, what a lovely poo! I never said anything negative about it and if it went on the floor or in his pants i just said, never mind next time we'll get it in the potty.
After a bit of time doing this he started to sit on the potty himself to do a poo, i gave him a treat/prize every time and lots of praise. He was soon over his fear completely and would do it on the toilet no problem. Hope this helps you!

[ganesh]

I agree with tiny,if he is almost 4 he will be starting school in September and learning to read and write and socialise and obey rules. If you can't even make him go to the toilet in the proper place I feel very sorry for his teachers,and for you later on!
Sorry to sound harsh but unless he has a physical problem ,at 4 he should be able to go to the toilet on his own.
I don't agree with your friends and family, I think he needs a bit more discipline-it must be awful for you,and I think you really need to get this one sorted. Speak to your doctor,
Good Luck.