Shouldn't be Bringing Up Baby

[moonshadow]

Claire Verity (she who must be obeyed) the Truby King expert in TV programme Bringing Up Baby was once nanny to Jerry Hall's new baby and managed to sneak time out of that strict routine of hers to have sex with Jerry's husband Mick Jagger.(so that's why she's in the habit of putting baby at the bottom of the garden) What do you think of her methods on baby care?

[truangel]

hey, i think shes a complete pshyco! i mean leaving a baby for 4 hours in the garden, please be real, i think its cruel and very stupid. and the whole thing of only 10 minutes cuddling time in the days is rediculious. your raising a child not a animal. i could actually go on all day about how grossly wrong this woman is! please do not tell me there is anyone out there that actually thinks this woman is on a good idea.

[tillyfloss]

i think why have kids if all you want to do is cuddle them for 10 minutes a day and then they should be put away like pets for your amusement when you see fit to tolerate them... i pity her to be honest - she's missing out on a lot. I could never imagine restricting the cuddles my daughter gets... truby king was a farmer for goodness sake not a childcare expert until he decalred himself one!

[moonshadow]

Thanks for your replies truangel and tillyfloss lovely name by the way. I couldn't believe it when she wouldn't allow eye contact between mother and baby how terribly cruel. I don't normally watch these sort of programmes but thought I could pick up some hints, being a new Gran. I suppose it's to boost the ratings but at the expense of the obviously distressed babies.

[tillyfloss]

congrats on being a new Gran! no doubt some strange people out there pay this woman ���'s to raise their kids for them. it's beyond me! have fun being Gran and enjoy lots of cuddles and eye contact !!!

[moonshadow]

Thanks tillyfloss, they live a long way off so I don't get to see them much, but I do hold every moment precious.

[juliacornwal]

My friend's daughter had a baby three years ago and brought him up closely following some ghastly manual called 'The Baby Whisperer' - much to my friend's dismay. He had to be swaddled and hadn't to be cuddled or played with for an hour before bedtime, wasn't to be stimulated or excited except for a few minutes at a time - total rubbish!

Now her three year old grandson is nervous of noises, stammers badly, is shy and rather introverted, whilst my three year old grandson, brought up the - hug 'em if they hurt themselves, and still hug 'em if they don't - way is a typical, lively three year old boy.

Babies are there to be adored, played with loved and cuddled - and I won't believe anyone who tells me otherwise!

[tillyfloss]

i love the way you put that julia - "hug 'em if they hurt themselves, and still hug 'em if they don't" - that was the way i was raised and the way I am raising my daughter - and so far we're both fairly normal - most of the time! :-)

it annoys me too that the truby king woman has no children of her own... maybe if she did she would be diff although she seems to harsh to care either way

[juliacornwal]

Well, Tilly, sounds to me like you're doing a grand job. I came from a family that didn't hug - it was that generation (cos I'm fearfully old), and in consequence I spend half my life either hugging my grandchildren or hugging the dog. It's what they're for, to be loved!

[redcrx]

i do not agree with the withholding love and affection side of her methods. However putting baby outside in fresh air every day is good for them.

Obviously you can only do it it a safe envirmoment, not like in the 70s when every house had a pram on the porch with a sleeping baby in it. Id have done it with my son if my back garden had been more secure.

I also think that some of her ideas on routine are good.

Everything in moderation, why not take bits of each and every one of those 'experts'?

[Psychick]

I saw that programme last week and I turned the air blue everytime it was her methods being shown! If I had been the mother I wouldve told her where to go, tv show or no tv show. She should not be working children.........I wouldnt even let her look after a pet!

*goes and calms down again*

[natalie_1982]

I could not believe that she (even she used the word) STARVED the children for the afternoon so they would eat and sleep well at night. And although I think it is important for babies to get plenty of fresh air, it would be completely irresposible for any parent to leave their baby in the garden for hours at a time if they weren't there watching the entire period, which kind of defeats the object.

Not so long ago a six year was snatch from the bath, what on earth would it sound like if your baby was snatched from the garden when you reportds that to the police? Ridiculous. And the no eye contact thing is just plain cruel. The woman is awful, and I think it says a lot that she doesn't have her own children, if she did they'd probably be robots anyway.

[tillyfloss]

thanks Julia - it sounds like you're being super-nan too :-)

[moonshadow]

Julia someone gave the book you mention to my daughter so I shall pass on what you have said, thanks for that. My family didn't hug either perhaps it wasn't the thing to do years ago but we have cartainly made up for it with the last two generations.redcrx I agree babies need routine and lots of fresh air,it's a sad world we live in when you can't leave little ones out in their prams in your own garden.Psychick I think she has had that same effect on most of the viewing public. A bit late I know but thanks for the birthday wish XX natalie you have hit the nail on the head, she hasn't had children so what does she know about the unconditional love a mother feels for her baby.

[mydogsandme]

well if all goes well I'm going to be nan next Spring and CAN'T WAIT to cuddle and kiss and love and generally spoil this wonderful baby rotten!!....I also treat my pets that way too.:)

[aims1202]

That woman really upset me too! I dont think she should be allowed to do this job. Some of the things she did were cruel. I felt for the parents who believed she knew what she talking about and went along with it even when it was very distressing for them. I think maybe she did not have much love and cuddles herself when she was a baby and thats whats made her so cold and nasty!
There is no way that a newborn baby needs to be in a strict routine, a newborn cannot be spoilt. You can get a baby into a routine as they get older and if you feed on demand from the beginning you both gradually get into a natural routine anyway. The prog. showed that you needed this routine to get baby to sleep through, its not true, my son was breastfed on demand and he slept through at 8 weeks. i actually loved those night feeds and wasnt even trying to do it! I did not understand why she said the baby had to be put in the garden alone, i agree its good for them to get fresh air ,but why not go for a walk with them or carry them outside in the garden and talk to them about what you can see. It is a mothers natural instinct to want to hold, cuddle and kiss her baby all the time, especially when they are tiny and we should all follow our instincts more instead of listening to people like her or even reading books.

[redcrx]

aims, breastfed babies are usually fed on demand, its a bit different to a bottle fed baby or a low weight baby. In fact, all babies are different.

Some bottle fed babies can have a routine from birth. My son was in a routine from 2 days old and apart from teething never changed it.

As i said before, as long as baby is safe and secure then being out in fresh air in a pram will be beneficial to them. Whether mum is pushing the pram around the park or watching from a kitchen window it makes no difference to baby if they are warm and safe

Its all about the baby and the parents, they are all different and will do things in different ways and see different results.

Again, as i said before, I certainly dont agree with everything she does, but then i dont agree with everything that the 'tribal' style woman does either.

Mix and match until you find the right balance for your child.

[aims1202]

I did actually say that mums should follow their instincts as they know their baby best but what she was doing was making mothers go against their instincts. I said similar to what you are saying so not sure why you disagree with me. I was saying that newborns do not need to be fed at strict times like she says in order to get them to sleep through or even be in a routine. I fed on demand but that didnt mean i was feeding all the time or every time he cried. We naturally fell into a routine ourselves. I dont agree completely with the tribal way either but at least she wasnt cruel to mum and baby like i felt Claire Verity was.

[redcrx]

its ok aims, i wasnt disagreeing with you, just adding to what you said from a formula feeding perspective as breast feeding is more to do with on demand rather than routine as a general way to feed and nurture anyway.

The rest was a general answer to all, sorry if it came across that i was arguing with your post, i wasnt :(

[tracymort]

Claire Verity should be prosecuted for inciting neglect and abuse, according to the NSPCC is "Neglect is the persistent failure to meet a child's basic physical and/or psychological needs, likely to result in the serious impairment of the child's health or development". Exactly what Verity advocates.
Her treatment will damage the brain, quite simple (I'd be here all day if I wrote out how exactly).
How she ever got near children let alone on TV is beyond me.