Drug and drink abusing sister

[jedimistress]

I have come to the end of the line now. I want to report my sister to the authorites. Our family need help as I cannot spend the rest of my life running around and worried that the children are ok. Latest example tonight I had to go to her house at short notice because her babysitter has turned back up with the children only to find her passed out unconcious with drink and unable to take charge of her (3 and 8 year old) children.

This is one in a long line of events spanning years and before I have been close to reporting her but am worried I will lose contact with the children when she becomes angry about it, and worried they will go into care. I am prepared to take them myself but what if they ended up with adopted families. The father of the 8 year old is around and probably willing to take him, but the daughter has no known father.

Her life has always been about her, her hedonism and recklessness. Men, drugs, drink, neglect of her pets, children. I have given up worrying about her life but what about her poor childrens life?

What can I do, what is the process, would our family risk losing our niece, nephew and would my parents risk losing their grandchildren? They have moved down to be closer as they are so worried.

Is there a place or website I can get help? What can I do?

[jodie73]

I think i remember this one from about a month ago. What an awful situation! Maybe if you ring the child protection team at social services without giving your or your sisters name and ask for advice on what would happen to the little one.x

[weeal]

and ask to speak with the Duty Social Worker on the Children and Families team, they will be able to advise and its confidential

[sarnieken]

Sounds like excellent advice so far.
Definitely ring the right people and get as much information as possible before taking action.

You're doing it all for the right reasons and I wish you luck in protecting your neice and nephew.

You have already acknowledged that any action you take will cause a lot of trouble with your sister.

Do you have the support of your parents on this, have they offered any solutions from their side of things?

This is the number for the NSPCC adult helpline
0808 800 5000
they should be able to give you advice on what you can do.

Good luck Jedi and, forgive the pun, may the force be with you.
K

[XladysailaX]

talk to her say if she doesnt sort herself out you are going to reprt her if she doesnt stop everything and take care of her kids and say you will lokk after them until she sorts herself out my sister was in the same position my other sister had to sit her down and say exactly wat i just said to u she got angry but after a couple of weeks and she was fine my sisters used to always fight but now they are closer than ever.

[redcrx]

ok, going by what ive seen happen to my next door neighbour, they will not remove the children unless at great risk.

She was under the watchful eye of SS for about a year, was on drugs and drink and had 3 girls under 5.

The girls were finally removed from her care following a fire in the home that could have been very bad as she was unconscious and the girls were terrified.

She was also pregnant and although the baby has since been born and adopted out, the girls are still in foster care and their granmother is hoping for custody.

Im sure that if you report her your sister will get a lot of support and help before they do anything as drastic as adopt the children out.

At the end of the day you need to decide which way is going to be best for the children.

[gummybear]

hi - what an awful situation !! must admit all advice so far has been excellent . i have to admit though xlady is on the same tracks as what i personally would do . Id give my sister an ultimatum and tell her she has four/six weeks while i take her children to clean her act up or i will go to socail services etc. ..
you cannot leave them like this, its neglect plain and simple and any life would be better than the one they are currently leading behind closed doors...They have no chance !!

[tillyh345]

Jedimistress

This must be complete hell for you....if you want some support I can suggest you go the Families Anonymous website famanon.org.uk where I am sure you will get a lot of support and sound advice...

My thoughts are with you...Keep strong

[aims1202]

I am currently on a course for fostering and i do know that children are only taken away from their family if they are at serious risk of harm. The first thing social services would do would be try and help your sister to change things, sometimes organisations like homestart give support for families. but there are others.
You do really need to talk to your sister first avoid accusing her, shouting or getting angry. Find out if she wants to get help and sort herself out, she will need your support in this. she maybe suffering from severe depression.
If her children were to be removed temporarily then social services will look for a family member or close friend to take them, ideally together. If this is not possible they will be fostered.

[jedimistress]

Thanks for all your replies. It has been hard for many years. I called the NSPCC last night who took some details. The police went round last night I following a call from the NSPCC and then again this morning.

The Child Protection Officer from the police is calling me tomorrow. The worst thing is she is drunk as a skunk right now, tonight as we spoke on the phone. I don't know if I can call someone up to report this again. I'm not sure if they take it very seriously.

The social worker said she spoke with her today about last night's incident, but can only go on what my sister said. The receptionist has no record of my mother going into see them 2 years ago with her concerns. Wether the social worker still has record of this I'm not sure but I'd be so dissapointed if the record has gone. It took a lot for my mum to do that.

Yes Jodie, it is the same story. My sister has been to AA and NA and been sober for a couple of months. When I fouind her passed out drunk last night I thought I really cannot go through this again.

I'll try the Famanon. Thank a lot for your support and constructive replies. xxx