Manipulative discontented parent?

[Beetledewz]

Would you use your own child as a tool to get your own way?

I read in the newspaper today about a father who stabbed his two children to get back at his adultress wife. His son died and daughter lived. They weren't even into double figures.

Why would anyone be as pathetic to use a baby in arms to get a dig in?

I remember a friend thinking it funny to get his son to say to his mum in hospital that he wanted her to go and he didn't like her because he wanted the bigger cuddle from his daddy. You know his son broke down to him one night and still feels awful for it at 17 years old and he was only three? I'm shocked he even remembered. How can a child remember that? I had something similar myself when I was young.

I look at myself. Look at eighteen year olds and they are shockingly young. Surely a 3 year old is beyond innoncence. Probably that way until double figures surely.

So unfortunate some parents are so bitterly sad.

[~max~]

That story is brying being manipulative, Beetle. It is just sick. Someone would have to be very deranged indeed to do this to anyone, let alone their own children.
As for using children as pawns, I have been through it myself (as a child) and believe me, we never forget. Parents use the only thing a kid that yound can relate too, LOVE (and the guilt associated with it), to have them do things they wouldn't do otherwise, be it go against their own mummy or daddy, or worse....And I'm thinking sexual abuse here. There is no simple solution here, unfortunately. We can only hope the children receive the support they deserve from elsewhere, and certainly later in life. xxx

[~max~]

Brying?? I meant "beyond", sorry.

[puss_boots]

Every day ( well nearly) we are hearing of a parent and its usually the father who kills their child or children to get back at the wife/partner when they split up. What is the matter with these people. I have been through a divorce with two children involved and came to an amicible agreement with my ex. The kids now both adults are fine and see us both. My ex and myself have often been to family do's at the same time and are still friendly, the thought of him murdering them to get back at me never came into it, I can only presume that these mad dads are just that...MAD.

[legend004]

Parents can be very manipulative .
Using children to hurt ex partners.
Its common that the only weapon an ex has is the children.
Very sad to put young children in that position .

Infact totally selfish.

[Beetledewz]

Thanks for your answer max. I don't know what more to say on it myself. It just shocks me to the core. Surely you would want to remove contact from a parent who uses a child as an emotional tool? If it's come to that of course?

[Beetledewz]

I agree totally puss. x

[Beetledewz]

"Its common that the only weapon an ex has is the children"

So is that an excuse to use them Legend?

[legend004]

Never an excuse.
Sadly its a fact that many women do this , for whatever reasons.
Id never advocate it
.
Having been thru a divorce i know exactky how evil and manipulative an ex partner can be.
letting kids watch from a window as parents are turned away.forbidding them even telephone contact.

i knew a guy who would drive 25 miles to collect his kids , he had a court order.
sadly they were always awy on his saturday visit.

funnily enough she ran off with the milkman.
so you can understand why she was so nasty .
well cant you?

nah i never could.

cut my mate up inside.
a vicious kind of torture you cant even imagine.

poor guy was devestated

[Beetledewz]

Surely it's not always woman to blame though?

Or do you just have a problem with them?

[~max~]

I'm sorry Beetle, my post may have made you think I was sexually abused as a child, I wasn't. I was mentally abused though, and only now can I see it. A child will never understand what they're are going through is abuse, because they have so much faith, and love for their parent, be it mother or father. They will grin and bear it, as we might say. Of course it isn't always the father, nor the mother who does it. However it is always a very disturbed individual, who would greatly benefit from help. Most cases aren't so bad, and could be so easily resolved through counselling. It's a shame it's not available more widely.

[legend004]

Beetledewz are you confused?
You go from asking me if i condone it , to then questioning if i have a problem with women .
Do i have a problem with women in general no?
Do i have a problem with women who use their children manipulatively?
Damn right i do.
As i would if it was a man.
But seeing as most women get the children its common sense that more women have the opportunity than men.


So can you clarify exactly what you think it is that you think i think?

Then i can explain and unconfuse you .



D T H ?

[Beetledewz]

Yes I would agree max, a rather confused individual.

[Beetledewz]

I apologise max I meant disturbed.

[legend004]

Well?

[Beetledewz]

Ah legend. Thanks.

Must have been a rhetorical question from me.

[Beetledewz]

By the way, I didn't ask you to condone it Legend. Lesser persons may do so.

I merely asked you if it's a good enough excuse at a time of weakness?

My you are impatient.

[Ice.Maiden]

I don't think anyone who uses a child as a pawn is a decent parent, full stop. If you have issues with an ex, to bring children into it shows how little you care about their feelings and welfare. To injure or kill a child just to get back at somene is much worse though. Those individuals are sick and twisted, and obviously not meant to be parents in the first place.

[legend004]

Perhaps youre just easily confused?

Not so much a rhetorical question as a nonsensical question.


Hopefully you will think in future ?

Btw that was definitely a rhetorical question.


D T H ?

[~max~]

Legend, that is out of order. The way you are phrasing your post make it very demeaning. Please don't bring this into a perfectly nice thread. I'm sure Beetle was only talking from experience, and that doesn't make it a universal truth. As we ALL said, it is about individuals, be they male OR female.

[legend004]

Sorry beetledewz but i wonder if you have children?

Your replies show a lack of knowledge of the emotions involved when a p[arent.

Does a soldier on active duty care any less about his/her kids thousands of miles awayDoes a mother care more ?Does a father care less whether there or not?

Sometimes i think people say things withput any thought of how others may react to what they say.

Thats all.

But using kids against exes is weak , shows a contempt not only for the ex partner but also for the children.
Its a selfish thing to do.

And if youve never been there then dont even try to imagine without putting yourself in their shoes.
Its easy to judge .