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Ive just found out our 28 year old son is taking antiD
Citalopram I think it is ? He hasnt told us about them but I found them whilst helping to clean his flat. Hes also drinking and I dont think you should when taking these. Ive just looked them up on comp. Im really worried about him doing something silly. Hes always had mood swings and I know hes been depressed when at Uni cos I found some diaries and I just cried my heart out when I read them. Im not being nosey about this just a motherly concern. He wont open up to us about anything. He always says things are fine but we klnow theyre not.
Has anyone else taken these and come through it or can anyone tell me if we can get help on how to approach him about this as I know he`ll probably be bite our heads off and tell us to mind our own business,but Im at my wits end just thinking about it.
Citalopram I think it is ? He hasnt told us about them but I found them whilst helping to clean his flat. Hes also drinking and I dont think you should when taking these. Ive just looked them up on comp. Im really worried about him doing something silly. Hes always had mood swings and I know hes been depressed when at Uni cos I found some diaries and I just cried my heart out when I read them. Im not being nosey about this just a motherly concern. He wont open up to us about anything. He always says things are fine but we klnow theyre not.
Has anyone else taken these and come through it or can anyone tell me if we can get help on how to approach him about this as I know he`ll probably be bite our heads off and tell us to mind our own business,but Im at my wits end just thinking about it.
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I have taken Citalopram for years. They work especially well for people with anxiety problems and are not addictive. Citalapram are tried and tested. They do not cause drowsiness and are unlike drugs such as Diazapam. They help to regulate brain chemistry and I have been told that, if necessary, I can take them for life. They have made my life much easier. I do drink occasionally and have not been told to avoid alchohol, although I doubt that drinking vast amounts would be a good idea!
Anxiety/depression runs in my family so I have lived with it in one form or another all my life. One of my children also suffers and seems to have the same sort of character as your son (i.e. won't open up). I am afraid you can't force people to talk about it if they don't wish to.
Please be reassured that your son has sought help so at least he understands his problem. Try not to worry too much. Whatever you do don't show you are worried about him or be overly protective, it will just add to his problem. As a mum I understand just what you are going through. It is extremely difficult. Don't get obsessed with thoughts of him doing anything silly. I went down that road and nearly drove myself mad.
Take care.
Anxiety/depression runs in my family so I have lived with it in one form or another all my life. One of my children also suffers and seems to have the same sort of character as your son (i.e. won't open up). I am afraid you can't force people to talk about it if they don't wish to.
Please be reassured that your son has sought help so at least he understands his problem. Try not to worry too much. Whatever you do don't show you are worried about him or be overly protective, it will just add to his problem. As a mum I understand just what you are going through. It is extremely difficult. Don't get obsessed with thoughts of him doing anything silly. I went down that road and nearly drove myself mad.
Take care.
Thanks LL for your reasurrance. It wont stop me worrying though but I`ll bear in mind what you have said about not letting him know Im worrying. He does have a very good job with a good salary but I hes had two good relationships lastings about 2 years each which have affected him. I really wish he could find someone to settle down with and Im sure he would feel better about himself. Until then I think I`ll always worry about him, but thats just being a mum I guess. But thanks anyway.
I agree with the replies you've had so far. Your son has made a sensible decision to seek help.I think you should bear in mind that he is a fully grown adult at 28. So he needs medication at the moment? It's no big deal. I'm just glad for his sake that you didn't "just happen" to find his diary this time.
I'm not going to tell you not to worry, because if your son is on anti depressants, is drinking and has suffered from depression in the past, I do think you are right to be concerned.
I suspect you are worried that he may accidentally or deliberately end up taking his life by overdosing on a combination of medication and alcohol, and if you are genuinely concerned about this, I think you should open up to him and share your concerns. If he has suffered suicidal thoughts in the past he may not want to admit it, but if you seize the initiative, break and taboo and say "I'm worried about you feeling so low and that you might be thinking about suicide because you feel there's nobody you can talk to ", he may just possibly feel that he's been given permission to talk about that option. If that is the case and he doesn't want to talk to you, at least try and persuade him to talk to his GP or The Samaritans. You may find it helpful to read "Choosing to Live" ISBN 1-57224-056-3 which is full of helpful advice both to those who have suicidal thought and those who are trying to help them.
I suspect you are worried that he may accidentally or deliberately end up taking his life by overdosing on a combination of medication and alcohol, and if you are genuinely concerned about this, I think you should open up to him and share your concerns. If he has suffered suicidal thoughts in the past he may not want to admit it, but if you seize the initiative, break and taboo and say "I'm worried about you feeling so low and that you might be thinking about suicide because you feel there's nobody you can talk to ", he may just possibly feel that he's been given permission to talk about that option. If that is the case and he doesn't want to talk to you, at least try and persuade him to talk to his GP or The Samaritans. You may find it helpful to read "Choosing to Live" ISBN 1-57224-056-3 which is full of helpful advice both to those who have suicidal thought and those who are trying to help them.
i take em too! on and off for years. my friend is on em too, i find its difficult to open up about, i worry that people wont see me as a whole valid person because i have this condition. silly really as the whole point is i am because i sought help and so is your son. i also had intensive counselling which helped alot. you sound like a great,supportive parent. dont forget to look after yourself aswell !
I hope all goes well Burston.
Don't forget also that our older children often do open up to their friends far more easily than they do to their parents. I certainly have never discussed my depressions/anxieties with either of my parents. It is far easier to discuss these things and be ourselves with someone less close.
We want to be our children's best friends, but it is selfish to expect it (unfortunately).
Personally, I would not discuss it with him at all. You do not know he has contemplated suicide - it might never have crossed his mind and he would be quite shocked.
Children eh! - us Mum's will always worry about them even when they are middle aged or elderly! It's just so natural. We can't let go.
x
Don't forget also that our older children often do open up to their friends far more easily than they do to their parents. I certainly have never discussed my depressions/anxieties with either of my parents. It is far easier to discuss these things and be ourselves with someone less close.
We want to be our children's best friends, but it is selfish to expect it (unfortunately).
Personally, I would not discuss it with him at all. You do not know he has contemplated suicide - it might never have crossed his mind and he would be quite shocked.
Children eh! - us Mum's will always worry about them even when they are middle aged or elderly! It's just so natural. We can't let go.
x
Some men find talking about their issues especially hard, as they are embarassed or don't want to look weak. Your son has sought help, and is taking treatment - again some men would hate this. Do you feel he left the tablets out on purpose? As this may be his way of trying to get your attention or say something is wrong. Do you think you could mention the tablets to him - and say your not prying but you want him to know your there if needed.
Also if you have any other children who he is close too, ask them to speak to him and just check he's ok.
As someone who suffers from depression, one of the hardest things I've found is telling people, as I was scared of being judged, when the time was right I told a handful of people, some were ok, some worried more. but to me it was a relief - this was done in my own time, and when people have pushes me about how I'm feeling etc I clammed up and ran away. My mum was great - but she does worry - mums do!
good luck - and be pateint!
Also if you have any other children who he is close too, ask them to speak to him and just check he's ok.
As someone who suffers from depression, one of the hardest things I've found is telling people, as I was scared of being judged, when the time was right I told a handful of people, some were ok, some worried more. but to me it was a relief - this was done in my own time, and when people have pushes me about how I'm feeling etc I clammed up and ran away. My mum was great - but she does worry - mums do!
good luck - and be pateint!
Here I am again nearly 3 years on.
We only just found out on Thurs pm that our son aged 30 has been in a physicatric hospital (The Priory in London ) for 3 weeks. We have spoken to him on his phone possinly 3 times over the last 3 weeks not knowing where he was and he didnt say until the last phone call on Thursday. They think he is clinically depressed and possibly bi polar. We are absolutely gobsmacked as we thought he had gotten through all this but he now tells us hes been like this for at least 10 years which takes him back to when he was at University.
Obviously we have seen ups and downs with him but put it down to normal behaviour for some kids.
He told us, they will let him come out on Wed 22 Dec providing he is not on his own for Xmas. He doesnt know yet whats happening after that.
We are both really worried about how to treat him when he comes to stay with us as the last thing we want is to upset or fall out with him. We only want to help him get better if he will let us.
My husband has taken this worse than me I think, Im now having to cope with him being really down about it all as well whereas Im just looking on the bright side at the moment to help us through this initial period. I do break down sometimes, when I think about it all, that he has struggled through all this on his own as he lives in London on his own at the moment. His boss has been very understanding and made excuses to other staff that hes had to take emergency holiday due to family problems
Can anyone who may had gone through this or similar, please advise us about how to tread and how to be strong ourselves.
We only just found out on Thurs pm that our son aged 30 has been in a physicatric hospital (The Priory in London ) for 3 weeks. We have spoken to him on his phone possinly 3 times over the last 3 weeks not knowing where he was and he didnt say until the last phone call on Thursday. They think he is clinically depressed and possibly bi polar. We are absolutely gobsmacked as we thought he had gotten through all this but he now tells us hes been like this for at least 10 years which takes him back to when he was at University.
Obviously we have seen ups and downs with him but put it down to normal behaviour for some kids.
He told us, they will let him come out on Wed 22 Dec providing he is not on his own for Xmas. He doesnt know yet whats happening after that.
We are both really worried about how to treat him when he comes to stay with us as the last thing we want is to upset or fall out with him. We only want to help him get better if he will let us.
My husband has taken this worse than me I think, Im now having to cope with him being really down about it all as well whereas Im just looking on the bright side at the moment to help us through this initial period. I do break down sometimes, when I think about it all, that he has struggled through all this on his own as he lives in London on his own at the moment. His boss has been very understanding and made excuses to other staff that hes had to take emergency holiday due to family problems
Can anyone who may had gone through this or similar, please advise us about how to tread and how to be strong ourselves.
speaking from the healthcare professional side (retired) you treat him like he's your son and you love him. If he wants to discuss then listen, if he doesn't then give him a lovely christmas. I know this is harder than saying "every morning when you get up chop off one of your fingers or toes with a kitchen knife" but do your best, IMO its the best gift you can give him.
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