our rights as next of kin

[traceyt2912]

My dad died a few weeks ago leaving his girlfriend as executor of his will. I believe she is a applying for probate. What I would like to know are our rights as the next of kin? She has the paperwork for the plot at the cemetry and is going ahead and sorting out a headstone. During arrangements for the funeral she did not consult myself or my brothers or even my dad's 80yr old mother about what he wanted and is now putting words onto the headstone which we do not want. What are our rights with regards to this and the paperwork for the plot?

[bednobs]

probably none at all - the g/f is next of kin for all practical purposes
there is no such thing in law as next of kin anyway, and people can nominate their own

[KRUSTYMAN]

Have you actually seen the will? I always understood wills had to have two executors but don't quote me on that. Still you should be entitled to see the will.

[traceyt2912]

we have seen the will, she was his girlfriend for 3yrs and what is driving us mad is she has more rights than us. she has not spoke to us since the funeral and refusing to return family photo's, once she received his death in service payment she told her solicitor she wants nothing more to do with his estate. we are fighting for our right to put a headstone on his grave even though she owns the rights to the grave.

[sanden]

Sorry I dont know how you stand, but just feel so sorry for you that at a sad time like this you had the extra worry about the headstone etc. Such a shame.

[bednobs]

TBH it sounds like you are tearing yourself up and making things very emotional for yourself for no good reason. You know the relationship you had with your dad, you know what you meant to each other, why will words on a headstone change that?
i understand its an emotional time, but if your dad had've wanted you to have rights over his headstone, he would have specified in his will. If she has the paperwork, and in all essence was his next of kin, thenjust let her get on with it. YOu will still be able to visit the grave if you want, and what words are on there are neither here nor there

[elaine33]

I lost my dad 7 weeks ago so you have my sincerest condolences as I know how you are feelilng about the loss. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you. My fathers will only stated on executor (my mother) but a will does need 2 witnesses. Can the solicitor not help? as for the headstone I am surprised this has gone ahead so quickly as most graves are not allowed headstones until the ground has settled and is usually about 6 weeks. what is in your fathers will, has he left any bequests to you?

I should go to a solicitor if I were you and see if they can help.

[Rosetta]

Our local crematorium, which is also a cemetary, have a Book of Rememberance. Perhaps you could check in your area and if nothing else put your own epitaph in that.
Or could you look into a commemoration by planting atree for example with a little plaque. This could then be a living tribute to your dad

[carsie]

you have every right to put words on the headstone as its your father but so does she as for the will the solicitor should sort all that out with the whole family the executor of the will is suposed to do as the will states no more what ever way he wanted to be buried should be in the will

[blogo2425]

I am my fathers oldest son, my father married to a woman who is not my mother, they are both 89 years old, my step mother has been placed in a care home, because shecan not look after her need,s by herself, my father has been in hospital for 3 mounths now, and i have been told that he also has to go into care, being that he also is need of looking after, and has demencha, my step brother and his with have looked after my father and there mother, like takeing things to the, and about 3 year,s ago my step brothertook control of my fathers money andpay,s for thing,s that he may need, I was happy with this, when my father and step mother were togever, but now, it,s clear that they will be apart now, and I feel that beeing my father will be in care close to my home, that my step brothers wife need to take control of his money, and I wish to look after my father afair,s and finaces,from now on, P.S, I am 65years old myselfe and disabled, what is my right,s about this...? Thankyou

[blogo2425]

I am my fathers oldest son, my father married to a woman who is not my mother, they are both 89 years old, my step mother has been placed in a care home, because shecan not look after her need,s by herself, my father has been in hospital for 3 mounths now, and i have been told that he also has to go into care, being that he also is need of looking after, and has demencha, my step brother and his with have looked after my father and there mother, like takeing things to the, and about 3 year,s ago my step brothertook control of my fathers money andpay,s for thing,s that he may need, I was happy with this, when my father and step mother were togever, but now, it,s clear that they will be apart now, and I feel that beeing my father will be in care close to my home, that my step brothers wife need not now take control of his money, and I wish to look after my father afair,s and finaces,from now on, P.S, I am 65years old myselfe and disabled, what is my right,s about this...? Thankyou
03:12 Thu 14th Apr 2011 Report P.S. AMENDED