nursery placements

[beverleymot]

hi not sure if this is the right section to ask this but here goes... i have been trying to get my son into nursery since last september without any joy as everywhere says they are full. i just got him his 2.5 hrs a day free nursery luckily which is obviously better than nothing. my son is very shy and nervous and i would prefer him in nursery as much as possible to get him ready for school. i have a friend who has her child in nursery "full time" but only goes 3 days a week- his family have him wednesdays and fridays so there is a pattern to the absence. i think this is really bad, especially for people like myself who have children who dont socialise very well and NEED proper nursery placements- the places are being taken up and not being used and on those days i would happily take my child to nursery in his place!
Is there anything that can be done about this?

[RevFunk]

Shouldn't you be taking this up with the nursery?

legally I would expect there is nothing to stop them doing what they like

[beverleymot]

i know the nursery probably wouldnt care as they still get paid n its one less child to look after so prob be no good talking to them- i just wasn't sure if it was stated in nursery contracts about reoccurant absence

[tigwig]

I work in a nursery and as long as the days are being paid for it is up to the parent whether the child attends or not. It is of course a waste of a place and money but some parents pay for full time in case they ever need it in emergency.

[redcrx]

im am only able to take my 3 year old in 3 afternoons a week as we are 70 miles away the rest of week. Are you saying i shouldnt have him at preschool / nursery because hes not full time? I do9nt even pay for full time, just the days he goes in (which are same each week).

Call around all your local schools and creches and see if any have free places, is he in a summer club to get used to interacting with other children? It wont take long for him to start coming out of his shell more if in the right surroundings.

[beverleymot]

sorry red maybe i didnt explain myself properly- what i meant was whatever hours you put your child down in nursery for you should make sure the child attends, whether its part time or full time, i think its a complete waste and an annoyance for others when people have full time placements and only turn up part time.

i know now that her son was taken out of nursery on Monday this week to stay with his grnadmother because his grandmother was bored!!

[nik_nak07]

hey. maybe u should talk to your friend and see if she would be willing to cut her son down by the days he doesnt go, go with her one morning and ask the nursery if u can take ur son in on the days she no longer needs!

[beverleymot]

i know she wouldn't- as tigwig says people like keeping their nursery placements for emergencies. as annoying as it is i think i will just have to grin n bear it!

[Aunty Lou]

My son attends Nursery full time and i am afraid that comments such as yours upset me,
Yes I agree that they should not take up a place that others could use
BUT
If a friend or family member wishes to spend quality time with my child then I am afraid that is what happens wether some one could use my place or not.
I hate having to take him full time but financially I have to work,and If I cancel the day because nanny has him and then one week nanny cannot have him what do I do???
I understand your frustration but you need to keep that day for emergencies.
now if your friend persistently does it each week then you could try asking if you scould share that day but personally I do not think the nursery will be able to do that
Good luck finding a place ,maybe you could try some mother and toddler groups and socialise that way? I am very jealous of you being able to spend so much time with your child,enjoy it before he goes to school

[beverleymot]

sorry to have upset u auntylou- i understand what youre saying but u have to see things from my view too- i have a child who does not socialise very well - very shy and nervous, and he is likely to be " bullied" because of his good nature- i want him to start getting used to the way of the world before he starts school.

my friend will never have to need the day for emergencies as she has a permenent babysitter wednesdays thursdays and fridays so these hours are without a doubt being wasted.

i agree that children should see their families and its nice to, but i fel this should be occasional, or if it is regular then as i said, she shouldn't have a nursery placement for that day unnecessarily.

the only reason i am home full time is cos i am on maternity leave, and a t the moment he does go to a mother and toddler group for 2 hours a week, which isn't enough for a child who needs more than this. he would also have to give up these two hours once he gets his 2.5hr free sessions as they coincide.

[beverleymot]

i also take him to the park at least once a week so he can randomly socialise-so i am doing the best i can with the situation xx

[gina32]

doesnt he have grandparents that take him out at all?

[beverleymot]

the mother has him wednesdays, his dads aunt has him thursdays and his dads grandma has him fridays

[gina32]

i mean doesnt he have grandparents that take him out?

[beverleymot]

eh? whats that got to do with the question? sorry im a bit lost?!

[gina32]

you say your son is shy and nervous and that you take him out when you can, havent you got parents that also take him out for you and get him used to other children/people?

[Mammar]

Hang on - so that means he's out visiting family on Wed, Thurs and Friday - leaving only 2 days with you. One of those days you do go to a mother/toddler group.
How much have you been socialising him before now?
My grandkids were "socialised" almost from birth at mother and toddler groups and this is when they started to make friends. My daughter went to 3 each week extending her own friendship base at the same time.
Surestart runs some fantastic ones and they are free.
The issue to me is that people with nursery places are entitled to take their child or otherwise. My lot were booked in almost before they had names!
As a matter of interest, what arrangements did you have for childcare / socialising before you were off on maternity leave?

[gina32]

i think beverleysian means the child who has the nursery place is only using it twice a week( not her son) although booked in for 5 days

[beverleymot]

my son already goes to surestart- for 2 hours a week as this is the only free placement they have for his age range. before i was on maternity leave my mum had him and she used to take him there, and to parks and to ballpond clubs.

to me it doesnt matter what colour you paint it, its still greed to be taking up nursery places and not using them. im sure there are lots of mothers out there in the same position as me and who agree.

[Aunty Lou]

GREED??
well maybe you should have thought about it before
like all the other 'greedy' mothers who were organised and decided to get their child a nursery place before they were all taken up by people who need them. Its common sense that children need to socialise from a young age.
I suppose you are the kind of person who would moan that there was no milk left at the shop because all the other greedy people had been and bought it before you could get there ?????
I am sure if you wanted to socialise your childmore, to ensure he does not get bullied then i expect you could find many groups or could be put in touch with groups,maybe spend more time socialising your child and less time moaning about Mothers who were organised.

[gina32]

thats a bit harsh aunty lou. maybe she has had reasons why she hasnt been able to get him into nursery. and i agree with her it isnt fair to have a place and then not use it. like if someone has a paid for parking place and never uses it and then you have to leave your car at home, it isnt fair and im sure youd soon complain