Going to see daughters head of year in 1 hour

[HJT40]

I have had cause for concern with my daughter both at home and school for the last week. She has been given two detentions in one week and I came home to find the house smelling of smoke, along with other things that have happened. She is 14.

So I decided that I should, as a responsible parent, make an appointment to see her head of year, I got passed on to the deputy head of year who phoned me to make an appointment. However, whilst on the phone she seemed to get quite excited telling me that she had reason to talk to my daughter the other day and that she hasn't had a very good start in maths.......... It left me feeling somewhat unhappy about the meeting. Surely it is not a good thing for a teacher to get so animated and defensive in the phone call merely to make an appointment to discuss my daughter. I am now dreading going in as I feel as though she is going to turn the tables on me and it will be like they have requested I go in to speak to them.

Any advice?

[sara3]

I'd say, don't get side-tracked. if they go on about maths, etc, just say, "well I guess that can keep until the next consultation evening as that's not why I asked to meet you".

good luck, and good on you for tackling the real issues head on x

[HJT40]

Thank you for the encouragement, I certainly need it!

I guess it was me that was concerned enough to want to see them, they were not concerned enough to want to see me.

[andy-hughes]

Your child is the most important person to you - obviously. To your school, she is one more pupil who is having a couple of issues - which in their vast experience, is a normal part of ggrowing up.

Listen to their advice, get them on side, and be willing to work together to make sure your daughter has continuity of approach which will give her the security she needs at this vulnerable time.

It will be easier than you think - you can worry yourself into a right tizzy if you are not careful. Remember, they want to help, so stay nice and calm, and see how it goes.

Good luck - please let us know.

[HJT40]

Thank you both for your responses.

The lady I saw was actually quite nice and listened to what I had to say and took on board my concerns that it has only been since her return after the summer holiday since there have been problems. As she is at school I am not aware of who she is with etc. She agreed that this was not in her normal behaviour and she would have a chat with her, making it known that she is not in trouble.

She said she was pleased that I went in and was a supportive parent.

Now all I have tp do is wait to see my daughter tonight and hope that she is happy with what I have done.

x

[andy-hughes]

Your daughter's perception - because this is how teenage girsl think - is that you have 'gone behind her back', or are 'ganging up on her' with the school.

Let her have a bit of a rant, and when she is calm, remind her that you love her and only ever want what is best for her, although it may not always appear that way.

That's a message you need to remind her of frequently - I always used to do it at lights out, when everyone is calm, and it always gave my girls a nice secure feeling to go to sleep on. made up for some of the daylight bnust-ups we used to endure!

[jayz]

writing all the the issues down that you need to talk about and that you are concearned with helps before you go or you may forget when you get there good luck Jayz