vomiting to get his way

[7continents]

I have a grandchild who vomits when he is asked to try a new food. One of my daughter's friends vomited whenever she did not get her way. I don't want to see my grandson get into that. I am doing long term babysitting and would appreciate hearing from anyone who cured a kid who vomited for control. None of my kids would have dared to that to me!

[EssJay1]

Be careful. It could be an allergic reaction. It could be fussy eating. Just don't let it become a battle - how old is your grandchild? Could you negotiate new foods? Try feeding him new foods from your plate first.

[7continents]

Sorry! He is 4 and not allergic to anything. He has a litany of things he does not like. He eats a few vegetables (green beans, not salad, not carrots), no fruit at all (amazing to me), white bread with no crust, peanut butter, pasta. He spends every meal going over all the things he refuses to eat. His mom was promising him a treat of junk food if he would eat some disliked thing. So far does not really work. Would rather do without.

[woofgang]

This actually doesn't sound like a control issue. My niece was faddy about food. My sister who trained as a nursery nurse and is an olympic class mum (now grandmother) ignored it, didn't make the child try new things, offered as healthy menu as she could within the childs likes and dislikes and generally took the pressure off. Periodically she would also serve up something that she thought her littlin might like to her husband and herself only, making the comment that "such and such was only for big girls and grownups" allowing the child a taste if she asked but not making any big deal of it. Said child is now in the thirties, tall, strong healthy and a mum herself. This is probably not relevant, but such obsessiveness with food (especially if it is because of colour/texture)can be a symptom of autism.

[Lindy Loo]

My eldest was a terrible eater as a toddler (he's now 19 and 6ft 2ins!). I agree with woolfgang, just give him what you know he likes and leave the rest for the moment. If mealtimes (or anything else for that matter) start becoming a battle ground it hard and frustrating for everyone. Try to stay calm and I'm sure he will change. Hope this helps and Good luck

[apricot]

He isn't going to starve, just ignore the bad behaviour. When he sees he isn't getting any attention he'll get bored and try something else. To pander to this is creating a monster later in life. I used this method on a wayward dog and it worked within half an hour. Couldn't believe I'd wasted 6 months of wheedling and persuading. Good luck

[misslideaway]

Have his friends round for dinner.. Find out favourites from their parents and cook it for them all. If he sees a friend enjoying it, will this not encourage him?

[nrmatth]

unfortunatly the one who needs to fix this is the one who has him most of the time. and it probably resulted from getting to each what he wanted until now. i say give him a choice of a few things you seem are resonable. that way you get to choose the food but he gets to have a say in the one he eats then. if he refuses then he can decide to try again later. just don't back down or add new choices. this tells him if he fights it you'll waiver. when he finally chooses something sit him in front of it and ask that he at least take one bite. and that doesn't include just licking the spoon. then when he does that he can choose to continue eating or be done. put the leftovers in the fridge. he won't starve, trust me. and if he really puts up a fight start again with your original choices. this worked with my friends kid who decided junk food was the only acceptable meal. we watched her long term and she learned quickly that our rules apply in our house.

[nrmatth]

plus she threatened to vomit and i warned her it would mean she'd be sent to her room for a good while. she did end up taking the one bite and put the rest away, but after that she realized we meant business and didn't fight so much at our house

[peace]

Our daughter used to cough and make herself sick and it was all for attention. She is a much loved child but reacts this way to any change. Peace

[DixieCRL]

It does sound like a control issue. He is getting his way by not having to eat the healthy food and being able to eat just what he likes. He is only 4, but you could explain the reasons for eating healthy in a simple and fun way. Make it a game. Then the suggestions nrmatth posted sounds pretty good. After of course you rule out the allergies or medical issues. Offering a reward for eating everything on his plate would be good, but the reward has to be something he really wants or it will not work at all. Also, the sending him to his room or taking away a favorite toy, if he does vomit should work. But again, you have to decide what he really likes.

[Theriault]

You could do 1 of 2 things you could feed him what he wants to eat, that way you know he is at least getting food into his belly, or you could just ignore him when he does it. More than likely he is doing it for attention to get his own way, if a big deal is made of it then he will continue to vomit, if you ignore him and he sees that he gets no reaction, he probably will stop after a few times.