5 year old toilet training problems

[mumto4]

My son has been toilet trained since he was 2.5, but at 5 is still weeing and pooing himself every day. I love him to bits and have tried everything I can think of to help him. Any ideas?

[sara3]

has he just started school? if he's very tired or stressed that will have an effect on these things. also, consider if this is attention seeking. new baby at home?

I think it's probably best not to make too much fuss so either he doesn't get more stressed, or it doesn't bring the attention he is after.

best of luck :o)

[mumto4]

The problem has been going on for so long now...I can't remember since when. In the last 18 months we've moved house twice, and had a baby 11mths ago. He's not starting school as I homeschool. No new stresses, but we're all pretty tense about it.

[natalie_1982]

I think I am misunderstanding the question - I thought being toilet trained meant using the toilet when he needs to? So he been toilet trained since he was two and a half and has recently started messing himself?

Have you spoken to your GP or health visitor? Perhaps there is a physical problem that he cannot hold it in?

[mumto4]

lol
I thought being toilet trained mean that too!
He's perfectly capable of using the toilet, but just doesn't.
I think it's somewhere between anxiety, attention seeking, stubbornness, and a control issue.

[aims1202]

it is probably due to anxiety, if everyone is tense as you say then this will only make the problem worse. the best way to help him get over the anxiety is to be really calm and paitient about it. when he has an accident both your body language and what you are say are very important, you have to not mind at all and be very matter of fact, saying 'never mind next time you'll get to loo in time,' just help him clean up and dont mention it again. try not to talk about it to him, get annoyed or discuss it in front of him. basically not making any issue about it. if he does go to the loo then lots of praise and even a reward like a sticker for doing so. i hope this helps