homework

[paulz]

Every parent dreads the word!! We've tried everything we can think of to make it fun, [including bribery, treats etc] but it always turns into a complete nightmare. Any ideas how to get it done without tears??

[clcandj]

Well first of all, how old is your child? Also, when my daughter was in 3rd grade and we were going through that, I finally just said "Fine, do what you want to , BUT it is your homework and your grade." Now we don't have any problems with it and she is in 5th grade! Sometimes I have to remind her of that again, but, she knows and she does it because she likes getting good grades and praise for it. Also, you should try to offer your help with the homework. Kids usually like to have attention from parents in that way also. I hope this helps and works for you. Good luck!

[paulz]

She's 11 [with a nineteen year old's attitude!] We've tried everything. Sat with her, had race to see who could do it first, done it as a quiz, I've even bought work home and sat working at the same table with her. She didn't mind when she could do it on her computer, but they won't let them do that now. We've even tried what you suggest, telling her to explain to the teacher on Monday morning that she can't do it. She knows how to, but just doesn't want to do it! Trouble is it puts such a downer on every weekend.

[clcandj]

Ok, well, so what happens if she just doesn't do it then? Does she even care whether or not she gets good grades or bad grades? What are her grades like now?

[paulz]

She enjoys school, loads of friends, likes her teachers. Her class work is good, she's in top groups for spelling, maths, she wants to do well and get a decent job. No problems at all, she just can't be a*sed to do it.

[clcandj]

She just cant be a sed to do it? What is a sed?

[clcandj]

P.S. what do you think about the Adoption question, thats like the third question on here? Just curious.

[flirty41]

Hi Paulz. I know you've mentioned treats - but what sort of treats have they been? How about a 'star chart' - she gets a star everytime she does her homework without complaint, then after so many stars she gets a reward. This could be something that she has thought of at the start of the chart, or something on the spur of the moment (within reason of course!). Or you could do it so that so many small stars lead to a big star, and then so many big stars lead to a major treat, perhaps tying in the stars with the weeks and terms so she ends up with something she really wants at the end of each term??

[FP]

I seriously think that homework achieves very little. It causes so much friction in so many families and often ends up with tears (not only from the kids). Secondary school children have a reasonably long day at school so it's not too far removed from a normal working day. Why not let them relax in the evenings and pursue other hobbies so that they can come into school the next day feeling refreshed and ready to learn. Paul, if it's any consolation, my son was the world's worse at doing homework -in fact I don't remember him doing much at all. He couldn't be arSed either. Like your daughter his school work was good and he learned easily. I gave up in the end. Even so, he achieved good grades in GCSE's and A Levels and is now doing a BSc.(Hons) degree. Why on earth won't the school let her do her homework on the computer? I can't see any logic in that.

[Lindy Loo]

clcandj 'What is a sed?' Well the powers that be sensor rude words automatically, so if you typed the slang word for butt then all you'd see is *****! So instead spell it a*sed, and the auto sensor gets confused. Same thing goes for *****d off, (pi$$ed, pi55ed etc get through) Hope that helps understanding AnswerBank slang!!

[Lindy Loo]

Oops. I upset the 'blank' auto sensor!!

[paulz]

Flirty - thanks. We did the stars a while back, only to find the cunning little toad found where the packet was hidden [badly obviously!] and was slyly adding a few extra on here & there! Perhaps we'll give it another go, and just make it homework related. I'm not convinced on the merits of homework either, given the amount of angst it causes. As for the computer, on teacher says yes, a t/assistant says no and so on. Had a blazing row over this at a previous parents evening [and me a school guv too!] the teacher's closing comment was, of course in a few years time she won't need to write any of it, it'll all be done on a computer! I won't even start on maths or I'll never finish. Thanks one and all for your ideas XXX :+))

[stoo_pid]

When I was at school I detested homework & avoided doing it whenever possible - except for maths that is. I left school with 8 0-levels (mainly grade C's) & 1 A-level). Nothing special - I just assumed I wasn't academically minded. Then I went to Uni a few years ago as a mature student and got a 1st. My degree had nothing to do with maths but for one thing - I thoroughly enjoyed both subjects. Doesn't mean that I am academic - just that I was motivated in both subjects. (The same applied for PE but unfairly we weren't given any homework for that!). If she can find her motivation you'll have the problem solved. Just be aware she may not find that motivation... My nephew is the same age as your daughter & until recently he was living with us. He actually was very good at doing his homework but I really got annoyed when I saw the amount of work he was expected to do after school. How would any of us react if our bosses insisted we all spent an hour every night doing extra work for no reward?