Kids presents & parties.....

[smudge]

Our daughter has just told me, that one of her daughter's friends 'well off' Mother, is buying her little girl (6 in Dec), a Nintendo @ �150+, plus games for it., & is also spending �400+ on a birthday party for her in two weeks time.

My daughter said what an expensive time of year it is having children with birthdays in December (like her two), but the Mother very matter of factly replied "Oh, I know, but we're also buying her a Wii for Christmas"!

Our daughter & her husband (even tho' he works over 60 hours a week), just can't afford to spend that sort of money on their two daughters birthdays (age 8 & 6, on 4 Dec) & then at Christmas.

My daughter has explained to her children that they won't be able to spend that much money on them this year & they understand that, to a degree, but it really tugs at your heart strings when they come home from school, saying what other kids are getting & having for birthdays & Christmas.

Don't get me wrong, they are both well loved, well balanced, polite children & have lots of toys & dressing up clothes, & are well into arts & crafts & drawing, etc.

So much pressure for Mums & Dads these days tho'!

How do/would you deal with situations like this?

(Hope I've explained this properly).

[welshlibranr]

I don't believe that it's a good idea to give your children everything they desire, even if you can easily afford to, the day has to come when they realise that they cannot always have everything they wish for, and so it's far better that they understand this while they're young. I think that your daughter shouldn't worry, her children will value and enjoy their gifts far more than the children who are given too much for their own good!

[oldgrape]

start buying presents in april that's what i do any way

[smudge]

I totally agree with your sentiments welshibrar, very reassuring - thank you.

Sorry - I got a bit carried away with my question & it sounds like a real sob story on reading back - which it wasn't meant to be. I was really trying to say how hard it must be for hundreds of other parents with young children at school - not just my daughter.

However, she's a brilliant Mum & is good at trying to keep a happy medium. Her daughters have had birthday parties since they were born, at village halls, farms, etc., along with their little friends, but she & her husband - like many others - are having to draw their horns in this year.

Have to say, my siblings & me didn't have very much in the way of presents at birthdays & Christmas when we were growing up - neither did most of my friends - but we value things so much more than friends who did. We also passed these family values onto our own children.....

I buy presents throughout the year too oldgrape!

[smudge]

*sorry - welshlibranr - hard to spell when you're rushing...

[redcrx]

I thought the �150 nintendo was the wii?? they do a nintendo DS but thats �90 plus games.

are you sure thats not a joint xmas / birthday present .

I cant remember what i got at the age of 6 and parties were a few cakes and sandwiches at home. I was more than happy with that.

besides kids dont know how much things cost, they want what they like, not because of the price but because its what they will enjoy.

I think ive spent about �80 on my little girl (shes 7 months old) and about �100 on my 3 year old son and i know theyll have too much and will get snowed under with it but its much less than i spent last year so Im learning lol

[hippyhoppy]

my brother in law and his wife spoil their daughter rotten, and she is a nightmare! my kids understand that I can't give them everything they want and accept that and actually hate going to their cousins at Christmas as all she does is open present after present without even registering who gave her what...

Don't give in - I think it's healthy for kids to know their limits...

[bednobs]

i dont think anybody is able to comment really on what other people buy their kids. - it depends on hw much money you have. You wouldn't expect victoria and david beckham,for example, to buy their kids a 60 pound present. just because they are spending what seems a lot for you dosent mean the kids are unfrateful OR getting everything they want. perhaps the kid wants a pony, but the parents are being sensible and restrained by giving her a wii.

[smudge]

Hi red - our little granddaughter has been asking if she could have a Nintendo DS, which is what her friend is getting for her birthday, plus games.

Her Mum also told my daughter that she's spending �400+ on her party, plus cake, party bags, etc., etc., & buying her a Wii for Christmas (?) - apart from all the other presents they'll be buying her!

Our daughters little girls were born on the same day, 4 Dec, three years apart, (meant 9 & 6 this year) - so it's always an expensive time for them!

They usually spend about the same as you do on various presents for them, but just one big present, at just over �100 each, plus other smaller presents, is a bit too much!

Have lots of fun with your little ones. -xx-

[redcrx]

At the end of the day, whats a DS and a wii really worth if your parents cant pay the electicity bill.

lots of little presents are much better that one big one, i agree.

I hope your grandchildren have a great time too and Im sure they will love whateve santa brings.

i once asked Mr CRXs nephew what he was asking for for xmas. He said he was asking for lots of little things rather than one big present as he always got lots of things to open that way :)

[smudge]

I can just imagine how your children must feel about their cousin hippy! It's good that you, like my daughter, can sit & explain to them that not all parents earn pots of money to buy expensive presents with. (Mind you, she used to before she became a Mum)! Anyway, Father Christmas wouldn't be able to carry them. lol

You're right bednobs - Posh & Becks would look a bit silly traipsing around Woolworth's looking for cheapie Action Men! God help 'em if they ever went bankrupt!

Thank you too red. Yes, you can just imagine some poor kids opening all these expensive electronic games, only for the electric to go off & they can't pay the bill until February! Silly when the mortgage should come first!

Like your families, I just know our two daughters, other halves, their children (19, 17, 9 & 6 by then) & Milly the cat, will have a wonderful Christmas together at our house - we usually do! -xx-

[smudge]

...wouldn't mind if this was a teenager, but a 5 year old - too much too soon p'raps!

[welshlibranr]

No apology needed smudge! I know that you and your family will have a very happy family Christmas!
Best wishes..................welsh

[annie0000]

In my kids school, strangely it tends to be the other way about. The school traditionally serves a rough council estate (not all council estates are rough, but this one is). Then they built the new estate with a high proportion of "executive" homes nearby. Apart from a small amount of kids in the middle - whose parents have bought their house in the better off part of the council estate, the kids tend to fall into the haves and have nots. Interestingly, it is the kids from the council estate that tend to have all the gadgets and the parents who on paper are better off that don't buy the kids so much or maybe it is just not as visible.

My kids keep asking to take their DS's into school for Golden time as their friends do, but I won't allow it as they are too expensive and may get broken or "taken".

It is a difficult situation, but I think it is better for your kids not to have everything they ask for as it sets their expectations for the future.

If your grandaughters are really keen on getting DSs, she could suggest that they get money instead of gifts from people and when they have enough they could buy one.

My two pooled all their Christmas money a couple of years ago and bought themselves a pre-owned PS2 and games. They were only 6 and 5 at the time, but were quite happy to do this rather than buy tat with their cash. They will still put together any money they get to buy something to share.

[smudge]

Yes annie, it's a good idea for children to save any money they receive, then choose what they would like to buy.

Trouble is, they already have children's lap tops, which have been fine, up until these DS thingys were mentioned a few weeks ago - now all the kids are at it! They also have access to their home computer & here, where they watch & play CBBC programmes, etc., quite happily.

We shall have to see what happens, but I'm sure all will work out well on Christmas day.

Thank you once again.

[smudge]

P.S. I admire you for not letting your children take their DS' to school - it's the same with moble phones.

Our eldest daughter (now 19), took her brand new mobile phone to school & left it in her blazer pocket in the cloakroom. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the pocket when she went to go home later!

The thief was never found!