Older Cat in New Home

[catlover2004]

How can we help a 10-12 year old kitty adjust to her new home? She lived with the same person her whole life, who died suddenly, leaving the poor baby alone in the home for a week while the family searched for a home. She only comes out of our closet occasionally, and adamantly dislikes being touched (we hear she was very affectionate with her former owner). We feel so bad for her and want to help her adjust and realize we're not so bad! It's been about 5 days...should we leave her alone and let her come to us instead of attempting to pet her when she comes out? (We don't bother her in the closet.) Thanks!

[FP]

Spend some time sitting by her closet and just talking to her to get her used to your voices. Yes, let her come to you. Offer an outstretched hand, perhaps with a tibit! She will gradually get used to you but will do it in her own time. My friend took on a fourteen year old cat in the same circumstances. He took about three months before he would come downstairs. Eventually, he took the house over and became a very dominant personality!

[PurplePixie]

I've gone thro this very many times so I understand your worries completely. You're doing exactly the right thing in allowing her to live in the closet & emerge when she feels able. I would certainly follow fakeplastic's advice. Don't be discouraged if it takes a while. I have spent many hours chatting to cats under beds & in cupboards...I would stay close enough for her to see, hear & smell you & spent time giving her short periods of attention & feeding titbits. Don't try to touch her, let her know that she can retreat to her closet if she wants to & this will make her feel nice & secure.You might be amazed at how suddenly the confidence will come. If I get a nervous cat in....I usually sit myself quite near (but making sure I don't give any eye contact) and start a game going with a bit of string or a drinking straw. A lot of times the cat can't resist joining in & will dare to come a lot closer than it would normally. You're doing the right thing by not overdoing the petting & fussing....a cat won't usually accept that until it knows you & trusts you. To her it must seem that the world has ended & she is so lucky to have found such patient new owners...good luck!

[FP]

Was only thinking that I haven't seen you on here for a while Purple Pixie. Nice to have you back.

[catlover2004]

Thank you guys so much--I appreciate the supportive words! I will try to keep my hands to myself (although she is such a beautiful, longhair white kitty and needs a good brushing)! I know she's been grieving and is very confused. If only I could explain things to her! Thanks again--

[cobweb]

It must be so bewildering for the poor wee cat...but i'm sure you will be able to reassure her eventually and give her the love that she needs. Good luck!