How do i go about this??

[BabyCuda]

Hiya, I have 2 girls, aged 5 and 7, the past couple of weeks they both have started to ignore everything I say, have attitudes like theyre an adult (I can do what I like, I don't have to, You can't make me) They dont tidy their room, if i ask them to do something they respond with those sayings. I've stopped them watching tv, treats, internet time, grounding them. Im at my wits end with them now, and I dont want to smack them if I can help it (although they have come very close) Can anyone help give me new ideas on how to handle them plz?? thanks xx

[mifta]

Hi

Kids pick up losts of different sayings at school and often don't understand what it all means.

I am not being critical, however, the fact that you have removed internet time and grounding them, at the ages of 5 and 7, indicates to me that they have been allowed access to some activities, at an early age. My daughter is almost 11 and has been using the internet for the past year, and my son, who will soon be 7, does not yet go on the internet. The fact that your children are already participating in, what is considered to be, older childrens activities, may have pre determined this behaviour, which you would normally expect to see in a pre teen. My daughter is just beginning with these types of phrases and attitude.

I would set up some kind of reward system for appropriate behaviour, set ground rules, like being polite, tidy room once a week .etc.

Hope it all works out for you, I'm sure it will.

[annie0000]

You have to balance punishing the negative with rewarding the positive. My boys (age 8 and 7) lose privilidges for negative behaviour and chatback, but can earn pocket money and wii time by doing chores, keeping their room tidy and generally being nice.

It's not an exact science, but being consistent and following through with both the rewards and the punishments keeps them more pleasant to be around!

Just as they knw how to push your buttons, you need to work out what punishments hit the hardest and what rewards they find the most motivating.

You could go completely back to basics, and take everything away from them, leave them a bed and a book and make them earn everything back one thing at a time, they might learn to appreciate what they have that way.

I have been tempted to do that in the past, but thankfully it is never got that bad! - you just never know though!

I think that kids in general nowadays have so much more than we had as kids and I think it is hard for them to realise how lucky they are.

[onlyme26]

hiya,

i have had similar trouble with my 7 yr old, off and on and i think she has grown out of it now,

must be more difficult with 2 as they will stick together and in a sence its 2 v 1 maybe separate them when you tell them off see if one backs down without the other around

but a few things that worked for me are...
a chart, a naughty chart, people say you shouldnt do a naughty chart just a good one, but it worked for me, basically i started giving my daughter pocket money, mainly she had to clean her teeth twice a day to get full pocket money but also she had to be good, if she was naughty she would get a cross on the chart and for so many crosses she would loose some of her pocket money, also we made a right fuss over her if she was good, even if it was something small and she soon cottoned on and like that attention better then being told off, we would give her a treat or 20p something like that and just give her loads of cuddles and kisses and tell her how proud we are of her, and she soon stopped being cheeky, she also noticed a change in the whole house, the atmosphere, when she was good, everyone was a lot happier etc,

good luck

[BabyCuda]

Thanks all :) When I said internet time, I dont mean they go on adult themed or teen themed sites, they are only allowed on CBeebies or Disney websites!

I'll give the chart a go, thanks! x