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thanks guys for your answers. Sometimes dads get painted as the bad guys. I know what I give her is nowhere near what it costs to bring up a child, but I give as much as I can and luckily have paid thru the bank so have proof. But I had to give her a pay out...she wanted 85% of everything, plus spousal maintenance, a new car in four years and a share of my pension. IN the end she got 55% and no future claim. However in doing so i have had to remortgage the house, the payments of which kill me, whereas she managed to buy a house outright and has no mortgage.
No she wont work...she gave up her job a month after we got married and hasnt worked since. That was twenty odd years ago. Our son is doing an apprenticeship. the CSA will not class him as a dependant as it is regarded a a job. She sent him to live with me when the Tax Credits and Child benefits ran out. She told him that was the reason and he will not speak to her now.
I dont know whether she gets income support. The CSA feel she can see my income but i have no rights to see what she is recieving. They have advised me to continue giving what i am giving her and it will be balanced when her claim goes through, they do not take into consideration any payments made before the date she approached them.I am self employed so my income has to be assessed. I dont earn a massive amount especially in the present climate.
The money isn't the issue, I cant tell you what it feels like to hear my daughter tell me that her mum says she cant do things because i wont give her enough money, and the fact for the last month she wont come to see me as she believes the things her mum tells her. It really does get me down.