is it allright to leave your toddler and go on a vacation

[aloo]

i left my 18th month old daughter to go for a 3week holiday all by myself.Her father was here.but since im back she has become excessively clingy,im scared that somewhere she is deeply anxious that im going to leave again.Have i done something wrong by leaving her.She was well looked after here by her father and gradparents is it allright to leave your toddler and go on a vacation?

[Scarlett]

This has to be a judgement call- it is your decision. But could you bear for this to happen again? I don't think I could/ how about going away for a long weekend next time, and then a week. 3 weeks is a long time. She probably thought you were never coming back. Just like when we leave out dog in the car for 5 minutes, he barks and barks because he doesn't know if this is it- are we leaving him for good this time? I would take it easy. Go away for a shorter time until she is old enough to understand.

[smudge]

Personally I couldn't do it. I remember back to when our oldest daughter was a baby - my husband & I went to Bournemouth for one day on a company outing, We both deeply regretted leaving her & couldn't wait to get back home to give her lots of cuddles.

[FP]

I personally do not think you should leave a child of this age unless it's absolutely necessary and certainly not for a holiday.  Probably not what you want to hear, but that's just how I feel.  I find it very difficult to understand how you could have enjoyed your holiday - I would have missed my child so very much!  Plenty of time for holidays alone when your child is older.  Why not go on holiday with your child?

[EssJay1]

How clingy were you on your return?  Toddler will pick up your anxieties.  If you know she was well looked after then no harm has been done - unless your guilt is too great.

[Hayhoe]

Three weeks seems a bit excessive. Perhaps you could limit your holidays to a week in future.

[Joe's Mum]

I sometimes think it is good to leave your children with other relatives. I have done this since my son was 6months old. My parents live 200 miles away from me and I wanted them to bond with my son from an early age they did and he now stays with them for 4 nights 3 times a year, he loves it and we get a break, but I am terrible the week befoie he goes as I feel guilty. I think your daughter is probably picking up on your feelings. It is not for me to say if 3 weeks was too long it has been done and only you can decide if you would do it again.

[Shipstabber]

When I was around 1 year old my parents went on holiday and left me and the dog with the next door neighbour!

And I grew up to be a perfectly well adjusted individual.

 

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[akkers]

My parents left me when I was young to go on holiday, this was 28 years ago, I had a postcard once, I think that they are having trouble with the return flights

[smudge]

lol akkers! Our daughter was fine on our return from Bournemouth, as she'd been with her close Auntie & Uncle all day. It was more 'us' feelig guilty for leaving her.

 

I agree with Joe's Mum, that is it good for children to experience time with other trustworthy members of the family or friends, but only if the child is happy with that. If they don't want to go, don't force them - unless of course it is vital, say you are going into hospital, etc. But definitely not to go on holiday without them - I just couldn't have done that.

[Hgrove]

I think mums do need some time away to recharge their batteries etc. but it is not surprising your child was clingy. Some kids get clingy if you leave them in a creche for two hours!  However, I also think three weeks was a long time for an 18 month old.  Perhaps you were going a long way (Australia?) and it was not practical to go for a few days, but otherwise I would suggest a week.

[Philtaz]

I'm with smudge and Fakeplastic on this one.  I remember going out for a lunch meal with my wife about 2 months after our daughter was born and my mind was on my child the whole time to the point where I just had to leave as soon as possible.

I can't understand leaving a young child for 3 weeks to go on holiday by yourself.  I couldn't imagine any kind of holiday without my children, I'd be thinking about them the whole time.

How one enjoys oneself(especially a parent of a young child) alone on a holiday is beyond me!

 

Sorry if that sounds judgemental, it's not mean to be, just expressing my own feelings.

[Kay]

Our kids always came on holiday with us ,speaking for myself I could never have enjoyed a holiday without them.

[Dom Tuk]

what leave your child and go on a holiday by yourself. I could never do that. It is just so selfish. I had to work abroad for 3 months on a very lucrative posting but came back after a month. I just love my kids too much. To me my pleasure is being with them and not away from them.