when the evidence is clear why can't I decide

[angel21]

and why do I still care?

41yrs of age

bit controlling ( I think - he says stuff like make me a cuppa love or could you get me this or that when he could probs get it himself - is that reasonable behaviour?)

Sometimes all over me and saying loves me then other times like he can't bear to touch me

Sure he takes the **** out of my wonky lip sometimes

Aborted his child as he didn't want to know ( he has since apologised)

Sometimes feel scared of arguing with him in case he loses the plot (one occasion he was fooling around with sharp objects)

Has cheated on me (more than once I think)

Doesn't always apologise when things he says or does are hurtful or even seem to care

Doesn't seem to respect me

Sometimes think he just wants me for sex

Not always supportive



Good points

Cooks for me

Can be caring, loving and affectionate when he wants to be.

Sexy



hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[sn�gs]

''Good points

Cooks for me

Can be caring, loving and affectionate when he wants to be.

Sexy''


Get rid and get yourself a microwave and a rabbit. Sorted.

[rinkins]

Ok now you have thrown me, I thought you were 21! xx

[ladybird49]

Weigh up the good against the bad , doesnt look good to me , hope you decide the right decision , take care xx

[Miss Chief]

Get a book called (I think) 'Too good to leave, too bad to stay' - it'll help you see what's wrong and what's right in your relationship and whether it's worth saving.

[angel21]

I am 21.

[shaking]

Good points don't add up to much! Think you have answered your own question.

[woofgang]

oh you KNOW the answer....give him the big E

I mean fooling around with sharp implements....

You care because is is good at what he does...which is make victims.

[rinkins]

I'm easily confused angel. You put 41 on the question honey.

I still think there is someone sooo much better for you out there. Your heart is ruling your head. I know it's hard but do you really think he will change?

"When he wants to be" is not enough x

[angel21]

oh if only he was nice.

Yes its blatently obvious and yet...........................................................................................................................can I get rid?






not so far I can't

[lesblue]

I think you will find HE is 41, rinkins. In which case, get rid now. He only wants you for the nookie (on his terms)

[angel21]

I mean he's 41 yrs of age hun. (please don't judge me - I didn't think oh look theres a 41 yr old I must have him - it just happened and then I found out he was a lot older than I thought he was)

You are right rinkins.


I can't understand how its so obvious what I need to do and yet I still care about him? Perhaps I am just a victim. It's horrible to think of it like that. That he could do that when I loved him so much!

[rinkins]

You will probably always care for him, doesn't mean you can't move on. It's easy to forget the bad bits when you have been apart for a while then you wonder if you are doing the right thing. You have had such deep feelings for him that's why you can't tear yourself away. AND you have been struggling with feeling unhappy lately and don't want to be alone. But it's ok. I'd rather be alone than unhappy. (Words from song I can't remember)

[rinkins]

Thanks les, I think I am just losing the plot here LOL

[DanAB]

seems like you have already made up your mind but want other people to confirm what you feel.

best bet is to ask your friends also.
they say love is blind, but your friends are not in the relationship

[China Doll]

Then have a word with yourself and lose the 'victim' mentality. If you belive that's all you're worth then fair play but I can't imagine that's a sensible or rational way to think.

We invite a lot of the rubbish we have in our lives for tea whether we know it or not. It in our demeanour or opinions of our own self worth etc.. and then we project it to the world, again, whether we're aware of it or not and other people can take advantage of that (knowingly or not so). So if you think on it as having someone over for tea, well... would you really want to invite an insecure, possibly unstable, controlling, unsupportive, disrespectable chap over for tea? No matter how sexy. Doesn't sound like a good dinner date to me.

[angel21]

Yeah you're right as usual rinkins. You're good at this advice!

After being away from him for so long I suppose I thought he might have changed and then when he apologised about abortion I thought he had changed even more but then the other night he was so distant with me after being so loving. Didn't last long then eh! I'm scared to tell him all this in case he flies off the handle or incase he tells me to f off!! But I think it needs to be said and to see the reaction, then perhaps my decision can be made. I think you're right that I will always care, but seems weird that I can care for someone who has not always been pleasant to me.

[rinkins]

Of course it's weird that we can care for people that are not nice, but he hasn't been horrible all the time has he? That's why. You should not be scared of him. Do you have to explain how you feel or can you just say that's enough and walkaway?

I wish I could help more and cheer you up. Once you are out of this you will be able to look back and see it without the rose tinted spectacles.

[jonah hart]

Treat em mean keep em keen springs to mind we all luv the bad boy .. U no the relationship isant good for u angel but he's got this hold on u that ur not ready to let go yet.. But I do feel at 41 years old I dunt think he's going to change .. But u no him best so only u can decide.. As long as ur happy :) x