Estranged father and teenage daughter

[supersop60]

A firend has asked me for advice but I'm stumped. He is divorced and his ex wife is making it difficult to see their three daughters 13, 11 and 10. She also seems to be poisoning their minds against him because they now don't want to see him. Eldest daughter has been sweetness and light, so he gave her a phone and has promised her Xmas present early. But on asking to meet with her this weekend she texted back - "actually I can't be arsed."
How should he deal with this, while trying to regain respect and keep the slender lines of communication open?

[Pigletion]

She might not mean it in the way it sounds, it may be that she's talking to him like she talks to her mates (assuming it was her replying. Although teenagers are stuck to their mobiles, so doubt it was nayone else!). Maybe suggest a different date to meet? Judge by response of that....?

[yogi-bear]

Hi supersop60

Tricky one this..........as not only does the ex wife make it hard for him to see his daughters, but the daughters themselves dont want to see their dad!.

Quality time is what i suggest.

I would propose a trip away somewhere with his daughters, whether in this country or abraod to see whether there is room for himback in to their lives........he is their dad after all and hopefully something good will come from it.

Unfortuneatly on the down side there are a couple of things.......one....the mum is currently making it difficult fro him to see them and two........the girls are being poisoned by the mum against the dad.

If your friend can get round that and propose even a weekend away with them to bond together again......this would be invaluable in my opinion.

I wish your friend all the very best.

yogi

[yogi-bear]

^^^sorry for the typo's...typed quick...did'nt check! :0)

[suzyangel]

It is really hard if the mum is being mean and poisoning their minds...I suggest for him to get a court order. It will show how much he wanted to see them in the future when they grow up and out of the emotional blackmail. If the courts are involved it will be harder for her to stop them from going but on the down side if they choose not to it won't stand. However, he may just have to keep trying and grit his teeth. When they grow up he will still be there. I feel for him as I have a friend in the same position.

[brenda]

A court order for access is really the only way. It will show the Mum that he means business, but will not guarantee his daughters will see him. However in the future he may be able to let them know that he fought to see them and was prevented by their Mother. Good luck.