Difficult Situation

[think_sweet]

I've managed to find myself in an awful situation, I found out last week I am 7 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend decided to ended our 5 year relationship 2 weeks ago. Thought it only right to tell him because a termination is completely out of the question. He finally agreed to talk about it, I knew he would be devastated but I came away feeling even worse. He is convinced im going ahead with this to keep him in my life, he is wrong. Yes I do still love him and would be more than happy to try at our relationship if it was possible but he is set on being single and said himself he cant be in a relationship anymore. I am very happy to do this on my own, but I will admit life would be easier if we were together. He even mentioned starting a family just 3 months ago but I said I wasn't ready yet.

What is worse is that I am now in exactly the same situation his ex-girlfriend was in when we first met. She was 2 months pregnant, they ended very quickly and we started a relationship straight away. I spent the first 2 years of our relationship resenting her because I had it drummed into my head that she went ahead with the pregnancy it to keep (my ex) in her life. Now the tables have turned on me, and I finally realise how awful it must have been for her.

Even though he doesn't think I should go ahead with this, he said he will still be there for me but this will make it so much harder for me to move on. I know there is now something so much more important to focus on but I cannot switch my feelings off, I also have to deal with not seeing his son anymore who has been a massive part of my life for 4 and 1/2 years. I hope this will get easier because at the moment it feels like it wont.

[poodicat]

He is a twot!

[ummmm]

Why is he a twot?

He walked out before he knew about the pregnancy.

All I can really say is that time is a healer.

[Prudie]

Yes time is a healer and sympathies to you. Yes he is a twot - that's 2 babies he will have created but not made a family for them with their mothers.

[sara3]

but he didn't know she was pregnant when they split..

[4getmenot]

prudie you cant stay together if you dont love someone just because there is a child involved. think_sweet if you really truelly want this baby then go for it and let your ex do how he pleases. If he wants to see the child then let him but build a life without him.

[ummmm]

From the sounds of it he looks after his other child as 'think-sweet' seems to have a bond with it.

Better than many men...

[4getmenot]

exactly its not like he's getting these women pregnant then leaving them.

[Prudie]

Accepted and we only know one side but on the face of it he has made 2 women pregnant and chosen not to stay with either of them (bearing in mind he only broke up with poster about a week before she told him). I feel for you though - think_sweet you must think carefully what would be best for you in the long run.
PS Sorry I'm a bit biased 'cos I think all men are bar stewards!

[ummmm]

Prudie...that's pretty sad. My man is fantastic.

[4getmenot]

yes but thats his choice if he doesnt love them anymore why cant he leave. Although both children are going to wonder why when they grow up. Can I ask why you broke up?

[Prudie]

So is mine but those from my past were not and at first I thought they were. Just a point to consider 4getmenot in fact it does seem he is getting these women pregnant and then leaving them because it looks like he won't be with either of them beyond their 3rd month of pregnancy.

[sara3]

it takes 2 to make a baby.

[4getmenot]

1st one he left after 2 months pregnant, I dont think he knew till week after theyd split up with this one and sorry I didnt understand the first bit of your post. and sara yes it does which is why if a man doesnt want a baby he should make damm sure the woman knows and he uses contraception.

[4getmenot]

ah I get you know I adnt seen ummms post

[Prudie]

Exactly 4getmenot your 1242 post is spot on.

[sezweblee]

karma has showed its self to you but dont feel bad just imagine what karma will do to him! good luck i send you my thoughts and hope you will be happier soon x

[ummmm]

Did you have any idea that the relationship was coming to the end?

[think_sweet]

Thanks for the messages, he does absolutely have the right to walk away, and I will not stop him. He split up with me not because he doesn't love me (or so he says) its because he wants to be single, and doesn't have time for a relationship anymore. Not had many relationships to base this on but the fact that he mentioned starting a family a couple of months ago and now has a sudden 'change of heart' surely isn't right?? He has completely cut-off contact from me so this shows he is clearly not going to be involved as he was/is with his son from his previous relationship.

[Jenarry]

i know that sometimes when people are unsure in a relationship that they can swing from one extreme to another from calling it a day to another such as thinking about something as major as marriage or having a baby maybe. just an idea why he was suggesting this to you.
unfortunately i'm a bit cynical these days but just going by his interpretation of his side of things which doesn't ring true to me- he's too busy for a relationship and just wants to be single- i'm wondering if there is more to this on his side..is there someone else on the horizon?
i think probably the best mind set for you to have is that you are going to be doing this 100% on your own particularly as he's not been in contact recently.