baby girl losing her sleep routine

[genstm1980]

Hi, I have a 10 month old daughter. She's quite settled usually and a happy little girl. Up until lately we were giving her a bath, giving her a bottle of milk and getting her into her cot and asleep by 9pm (roughly). However, recently she has started waking up again by about 10 or 11 and then staying awake for an hour or so and becoming quite cross when we try and get her settled - lying down with her, playing quiet music etc. Sometimes she becomes so upset and difficult to settle that she ends up in bed with us and then sleeps ok for most of the night but if we try and sneak her back to the cot then she will become very upset and we have to start the whole process again.
We have tried putting her to bed at different times; cutting down naps during the day (but this doesn't seem to have direct effect on her sleep at night whether she has several naps or not many); we have given her ashton's powder and bonjela to help with teething, tried Calpol; we have left her to cry for short periods to see if she can self-soothe but she just becomes stressed+++ and often makes herself sick by crying so much; I've tried not really talking to her when I go in but just giving her a cuddle and lying her back down in her cot . . . nothing seems to work.
The trouble is I'm pregnant again and I'm really worried that she will not get back into a good routine by the time the second baby comes. Ideally I would like to be able to lie her in her cot at a certain time following our bedtime routine and for her to settle herself but she has never been able to do this - always needs to be asleep first.

Any ideas??? Please!!!

[tigwig]

Hi, unfortunately, without meaning to sound horrible, you have created this problem. Going to sleep is a skill which babies need to learn and unless they are given the opportunity and shown how to they won't! It will be very hard for you but you need to get her into a bedtime routine with times that suit you not her and stick to it. You will have to listen to her cry but it won't last for long. If you really cannot bear to leave her to cry it out I would put her in the cot awake and leave. When she cries, go back in and settle her then next time do the same after 5 mins without speaking to her or picking her up. Just stroke her face and lie her down or whatever you usually do. Everytime increase the time by 5 mins and it will work if you stick to it I promise! It will need toughness on your part but she needs to learn how to sleep without needing you. Good luck!