Just wondering what your opinions are

[sherrardk]

Rang my sister today to let her know that something which could have been a big problem for us had all been sorted out (in our favour) and that everything was looking good (for a change - we have had a run of bad luck). She suddenly turned into my mother and began to criticise decisions we have made, the way we raise our children, etc. I bit my tongue and kept to myself the criticisms I have of her life choices. Should I have told her what I really think or was it better to keep it to my self?

[bednobs]

i think you shouldn't resort to criticizing her, but just say something like "i'm really disappointed in the way you are criticizing me" She probably didn't even realise. My husband does it all the time to his siblings on the phone and i truly think he thinks he is giving them the benefit of his wisdom for their own good

[sherrardk]

I did tell her that she was turning it my mother (she seems to have taken on the role since she died). I also told her she was a patronising, opinionated bitch and that in future I wouldn't be telling her things that had happened and that I would speak to my friends when I had any problems. I then said, 'I'm going now' and put the phone down although there are loads of things I wished I had said!

[ttfn]

Sherr - I always think it is better to sleep on something like this and see how you feel about it in the morning. Rather than just have a go back at her, why not ask her why she felt obliged to say the things she said. She too many have a different view on what she said on another day. I think it is also important to remember that we may not not know exactly what has happened to someone else on a particular day to warrant such an outburst. Don't lose sleep over it.

[boxtops]

what's Facebook got to do with it?

[ttfn]

Sherr - you have made me smile - thank goodness you bit your lip ;o)

[askyourgran]

It depends how well you know your sister. I can tell my next youngest sister what I think, but not the youngest. If she did criticise I would say that is what life is all about - choices, like hers, some have been good and others have been difficult. You did the right thing though by keeping it general. Only if she were really rude and personal would I be more outspoken, then I would say what I really thought.

[tastymorsel]

Noth3
Are you Frankie on Facebook? Same avatar.Sorry sherrardk for interrupting.

[Prudie]

I think it depends what kind of person you are and how you deal with confrontation. Many on here will say you should have told her what you think, put the phone down and not bothered about it. Personally I wouldn't have said anything and then kept myself awake in a state about it for days afterwards.

[sherrardk]

Hi ttfn - when my mother was alive we didn't tell each other anything (for fear that the other one would tell her and she would have 'something over us'). Since she has gone we have had a more open realtionship and I suppose I just expected her to be more pleased for us that things are picking up.

[sara3]

bloody sisters, huh? well, you kept your dignity but in future you can cut her off earlier by saying you're really not interested in her opinions, thanks very much!

[ttfn]

Sherr as I recall (?) it is not that long since you lost your mum, and like it or not, blood is thicker than water. I would always advocate give and take for quite a while. Hope it settles between you soon - good luck.

[sherrardk]

Hi ttfn - yes, she died in March (good job remembering). Last time I fell out with my sister we didn't talk for ages and then she got Meningitis so I had to talk to her then!

[society]

Sherra, use this experience as lesson learned. Next time think twice about discussing anything like 'this' with her, especially if you have the slightest inclination she might get all huffy-puffy. Talk to your husband instead.... or us ;-)

[tastymorsel]

Damn it.Sussed !!!