Christmas Quickies for you.

[Jemisa]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

[Buenchico]

Groan!!!!

Thanks anyway, Jem. It's been a long time since a lady offered me a quickie ;-)

[jno]

where does Santa stay on holiday?

At a ho-ho-tel

[Jemisa]

I liked that jno. - My G/daughter (6) will like that too, she's always after jokes.

One has got tothink before telling a 6 year old.

jem

[whiskeryron]

Jem, especially for your g/daughter.
What did the biscuit say when his friend was run over by a car ?
Oh crumbs

Why did the chicken cross the road ?
To fetch her pension
Why didn't she get it
Because she wasn't old enough

How did the taxi driver run over himself ?
He asked a little boy to run to the shop to get him a bottle of pop
The boy said no so he ran over himself

The little girl asked her daddy where did I come from
Her daddy explained to her about the birds & the bees etc
Then he said why did you ask ?
She said my friend at school told me she comes from Scotland

[marval]

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

What smells most in a chimney?
Santa's nose!

What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!

[Buenchico]

. . . and yet more:
http://www.woodlands-...stoms/Xmas/jokes.html

[Jemisa]

Thanks Ron Marvel & Chris, loved 'em.
I can see we're goin to have fun at Christmas. love from Phoebe.

jem