Is this acceptable?

[madmondeo]

I walk along a particular road to school with my 5 year old step son. The school is at the top of this road. Its a third of a mile long with two busy sets of junctions; crossroads. A classmate of my step sons walks to school on his own! We have seen him everyday this week and last week too.

Do you think that is ideal for a 5 year old??

[LoftyLottie]

Depends on the child really. Some children would be perfectly OK from about 7 or 8 years old walking to school. Depends on the distance, and the traffic. My son cycled to school from age 9 or 10, admitedly we are very rural and traffic isn't that bad. He cycled and I drove in the summer. I worked at his school!

[eyethenkyew]

sophie,

Exactly what I was thinking, too. Come on, madmondeo, we're trying to give you some advice, mate.

[annie0000]

Little boys aren't what they were Mike :o) Most that I know are happy enough to walk with their mothers and don't mind being hugged and kissed in public until they are about 8 or 9.

[Eve]

I grew up in a village in the country where we knew a lot of people and it was pretty safe but even now as an adult I wouldn't go some of the places I would back then on my own, times have changed.

There are two young children (a fair bit older than 5) who usually get on my bus in the mornings and it always sticks out to me as it's very unusual to see children that young out on their own like that. At least there are two of them and they are older but being in a city and not great areas so I try to keep an eye on them.

I would err on the more cautious side and have a quiet word at the school as the child is so young. There may be a reason but it doesn't necessarily make it right. There could be things going on and highlighting the issue could expose a problem that needs dealing with.

I'm sure in some of the recent cases where children have been abused or mistreated than there were signs earlier on which, if acted upon properly, could have meant a very different outcome for the child. I'm not saying it's anything like that but if there is a concern then at least by highlighting it it could help a child stay safe.

Maybe it's a lone parent who has to work hours which don't allow them to take their child to school but they need to work for the money to support them, it might be that something can be arranged so that the child can be walked to school by other adults such as other parents walking their children in so the child stays safe.

[eyethenkyew]

I agree with mike - nothing worse than getting a big "slabbery" smackerooney from your ma! Especially if there was an "audience"? You'd then have to try and drop your voice an octave and lie to your mates that your ma was terminally ill and that's the only reason you kissed her! To try to make her better?

Sounded reasonable at the time?

[mike11111]

Without wishing to be rude, I would suggest that if the child/children appear to be happy, well-dressed, well-nourished and clean and tidy, I would, in terms employed by our transatlantic cousins, just Butt Out.

[madmondeo]

Right well thank you very much all for your answers. I cannot remember all the questions here which people asked me but I can confirm that the child does walk home with his gran most afternoons. Probably because the teacher won't let the children out of the class unless there is an adult there to pick them up. Neither I nor my wife knows the little boy’s parents/grandparents. After doing the school run this morning I can say that the boy walked up to the school again on his own. My step son the was second child stood outside his classroom waiting to be let in. The first child was already there; stood on his own. I got my step son to ask his class mate where is mum or dad were. He replied "I walk to school myself” I am on good terms with one of the other mums at the school and she has noticed the lad on his on many occasions. She has spoken to his class teacher and she said to tell the secretary. Apparently she “logged” the other parents concerned. So I too, am going to speak to the secretary this afternoon and raise my concerns. The little boy seems like such a lovely lad and I am so worried about him. Children of 5 do not have the “choice” of whether they walk to school alone. A child of 5 walking to school on their own; that’s neglect. Simple. Doesn’t matter if the child is “happy” or not they are not responsible to walk to school at 5 years of age!!!

I cannot believe how many replies I had here waiting for me after I posted my question last night. Thank you very much for all the answers.

[McMouse]

This is one of the "one size doesn't fit all" questions. What is ok for one 5 year old may not suit another. As a child in the early 40's I lived on a German POW camp in the home counties and walked a mile on my own to school, part of which was along a canal tow-path and also had to cross a busy main road. I came to no harm.

[madmondeo]

yeah good one McMouse,in the early 40s maybe lol im on about 2011! do u not read the news? do u leave your doors unlocked when you go out like you did in the 40s?

[LoftyLottie]

Quite honestly madmondeo, I sort of agree with McMouse, although traffic is the main problem I would worry about nowadays. I am sure McMouse reads the news though. There is no more crime against children now than there was back in the 40's. We just hear about it a lot more. It wasn't given media coverage back then. Paedophilia isn't new!! Most crime against children is within the family or close friends.

Yes five is a somewhat young, but if there wasn't a traffic problem a sensible five year old could would a couple of hundred yards to school on their own. Children vary.

[McMouse]

I do appreciate that times have changed, but am worried that the modern child is so protected from harm that they don't learn about danger and how to cope and manage risk.

[Old_Geezer]

I used to walk at least that distance to school from about 4¾ years old. Seem to recall making a fuss and being very indignant when my mother suggested I needed her to walk me to school after I'd learnt the route. Admittedly the junctions were not so busy on my route though. At the time I used to think it was weird any fellow pupil still being accompanied by an adult. I suppose it depends on the child, do they seem sensible and know how to cross busy roads ? If so let them develop independance.

[LoftyLottie]

McMouse I so agree with you. They need to learn and we need to be sensible. Children all differ and a good parent will learn to let go gradually according to the child. I have read about children at secondary school who are still walked to school by their parents. How on earth will these children learn how to cope.

[Eve]

I have been thinking about this more and was thinking about if I had young children where I live now, what potential danger could they face on the way to the nearest local primary. Examples that came to my mind were...

My initial reaction was the amount of crime round here recently, a number of sex attackers/rapists and some very nasty break ins from a gang who were only kids themselves. These are just incidents literally within one/two minute's walk of my front door. I know they are not crimes against children but it gives an indication of the kind of people around.

There are also a couple of dogs who are often seen running around the streets (despite reports to the local dog unit) who are aggressive when approached and have caused a fair bit of damage to property. These two are regularly seen (I've seen both within the last few days) and I have seen other large dogs running loose (I live near a large park so I'm guessing escapees).

There are a number of large building sites which aren't secure enough to keep inquisitive children out.

Two busy roads with a frequent doubledecker buses (many driven very fast for the roads) and busy junctions.

Undesirables out and about on the streets. Adults and older kids, I find some of the gangs of kids intimidating let along a 5 year old.

I know these aren't "new" issues but I personally just wouldn't be comfortable about a 5 year old being able to have the ability to deal with difficult, dangerous or distressing situations on their own in order to be assured they could keep themselves happy, safe and unharmed. I know children have to learn but I'd rather they didn't do it the hard way if possible. My protective instinct is too strong for a child that young.

I have cousins of 7 and 10 and I wouldn't let them walk the route down to the local primary by themselves if they came to visit. In fact I wouldn't let them go walking

[eyethenkyew]

madmondeo,

Given that so many of us have responded to your post, and the fact that I think it's fair to say that the vast majority of us have shown genuine concern for the little fella, would it be possible for you to post an update?

I'm sure I'd not be the only one who'd like to know how things turned out, if poss ? Cheers.

[SizzleSquid]

noooooo! is his mother/guardian mad? id report it to the headteacher asap-id speak to him and tell him my concerns. A tall lorry wouldnt be able to see him crossing the road, and at 5 yrs aold his mental acapacity for judgement is not mature enough for him to make those decisons on his own. Kids take risks, and sometimes are absent minded. what a stupid laxy parents he has got-i wonder what else they neglect them with. Not only would i tell headteacher-social services would be pretty interested to know this too-i know, working alongside them in my job.

[SizzleSquid]

errm, why do you have to speak to the parents first and act as if you are some busybody? they may be offended and a confrontation could happen, speak to the headteacher, and let them handle it. Im sorry-but there is no 'legitimate' reason for this, what 'legitmate reason' allows a 5 yr old to walk to school on his own may i ask?
when a lorry doesnt see him and runs him over-i guess your thoughts of legitimate reasons would go out the window.

[SizzleSquid]

by the way my mum escorted me to bloomin secondary school til i was 13. the shaaaaaame! lol, aww my caring ma x

[sophie_1003]

Just a quick question to all those mentioning the fact that they walked to school 'from' when they were 5 and the one or two who said they wouldn't have expected their mums/other mums to 'still' be walking with them/their children at that age; how early did you start school? The first year of compulsory schooling now is after your 5th birthday so unless it used to be earlier I can't imagine you would have been walking to school with your mum for much time before they stopped?

[ponjee]

WHAT THE HELL!
of course not,hes too young, anything can happen. OMg. his parents must b silly, or just crazy. poor boy. atleast he hasnt gotten hurt.