Spanking.....

[iamnice50]

Do you feel spanking is an appropriate way to punish a child or not?

[andy hughes]

I would suggest that spanking is probably not appropriate. It infers that a child is receiving a series of smacks, rather than just one which can on occasion enforce appropriate discipline. There are plenty of other sanctions which can be employed, none of which use a system of violence like this.

[woofgang]

agreed. The "attention getting" tap on the behind can often save a child's life or defuse a situation, like andy "spanking" denotes to me systematic violence of the "wait till your father gets home" variety

[SGKelloe32]

Well, personally i would never give my daughterany more than a light tap on the hand.But im glad to say i am quite lucky and by simplyignoring her when her temper starts or distracting her attention she usually quietens down, failing that, even though she is only 2, i find 5 minutes alone in her bedroom solves and tantrums!!

[silly moo]

Most def not!
A light smack / tap on hand, back of leg or bottom should be enough.
Ignoring a tantrum is fine at home - but surely not when out and about in public. My friend's son once threw a tantrum on the pavement beside a main road - ignoring would not have been a good idea.

[nrmatth]

As my uncle would say one swat gets their attention, the second sinks in your reason, a third is useless. No more than two swats and only on bottoms or hands. And in my opinion, only after no, sending to their room, or a time out doesn't work or when there's immediate danger. And never in public since that causes more trouble than it's worth.

[silly moo]

One way of dealing with bad behaviour that was suggested to me & that I used successfully.
Child had to sit on the stairs. Can't do much when on the stairs - no toys etc, also my youngest couldn't go to sleep there either!
They could come back when they wanted to say sorry and mean it.
Maybe worth a try.

[RevShirls]

I have changed my views over the years. I used to think that it was ok because I was spanked as a child and felt it did me no harm. Having said that I thought that it should be appropriate and consistent (not just because a parent is in a bad mood and lashes out). However, I have changed my views in recent years and more so when I first started dating my husband who is Swedish. Spanking has been illegal in Sweden for many years now (from the 1960s I think) and I find the children here extremely well behaved - although I am sure that there are exceptions to the rule. The thing that changed my view totally was a question that my husband asked me. We were right in the middle of a discussion about it and I felt my arguments were good. He said to me: "What right does a parent have to spank their child?" We don't have a legal right to spank anyone else so why should we have a right to spank our children. I really couldn't answer that one and I still can't. My granny acted like a child when she had dementia - sometimes worse than a naughty child - and we would never have thought to spank her. The act of spanking teaches children that it's alright for a parent to raise their hand to a child when we're trying to teach children that they shouldn't be acting like this to someone else.

I have chatted to my Mum about this and she now holds the same position as I do. She said that when we were young it was just the done thing to spank and no-one thought anything about it. It was learned behaviour. I am all for discipline but not by spanking - there are many other alternatives.

[Dark Angel]

yes, because some kids throw wild tantrums in public. Not a hard "spank", but one that scares them a little bit!!

[Gevs1966]

RevShirls to answer your point about what right do we have to spank our own children. You are the legal guardian of your child until they are of an age deemed to be an adult (18). As the legal guardian of a child you are responsible for the childs health, education (both academic and social/moral), discipline and many many other things that make up their overall well being and progression into adulthood. You are given the right in this position of legal guardian to carry out ALL of the above responsibilities in a manner that you deem as being appropriate, necessary and in the best interest of the child. If you deem it appropriate to administer a smack upon your child as a form of discipline or deterent from danger it is assumed (with you being the adult in the situation) that you are looking after the best interests of the child and in which case have the right to do so.

 

I firmly believe that smacking a child as mentioned above should not be illegal and it is my right as parent/guardian to do so if it was in the best interests of my child.

 

The problem arises with those that lash out in anger or frustration at their children without reason just to make them do what they want them too. This is clearly wrong and should rightly be deemed as abuse and everything possible should be done to stop this.

 

However the well structured and reasoned discipline of a loving parent should not be confused with this as it so often is by the anti-smackers of the population.

[hmc]

In absolutely no circumstances, in my opinion.