Help for 16 month old

[ettelloc]

My 16 month old son is very lively and energetic like any other toddler. Generally he is well behaved but just lately he has started screaming and continues to do things that we have told him no, for example not to touch the oven as its hot. He knows its wrong because he looks straight at you as he's doing it. The screaming thing I think is just a phase and has probably picked it up from nursery, seems to be a frustration thing but I cant get him to listen when I tell him no. He also likes to run away from us when we are out shopping etc. He gets fed up when sitting in the trolly so we let him walk and tell him to stay with us, he does for a while but then runs off. Can any give any advise?

[woofgang]

he's starting the terrible twos a bit early by the sounds of things. Either give him something to keep him amused in the trolley or use reins or one of those curly wrist things to keep him safe in the supermarket. There will be other more experienced folk than me along to give more general advice.

[sherrardk]

I would introduce the naughty step but you need to be consistent about it (all of the people who look after him have to do it the same way) or you could ask the nursery how they do it so that you are only using one approach. As for running off, get some walking reins and put them on him every time you go out (try to get ones with a long strap - some of them have really short straps and are not very useful).

[ettelloc]

Thanks guys, Ive tried toys, books etc in the trolly to try and keep his occupied but he soon gets bored. Also tried giving him small things to carry so he feels like he's helping but again gets bored. I have just bought some reins so will be testing them shortly have also considered the naughty step but wasn't sure if he was too young to understand.

[sara3]

at 16 months old, he should be nowhere near a hot oven. you can't test him out with all the dangerous household equipment at that age!

[ettelloc]

sara as i'm sure you realise I dont wish for him to be near the over hot or not but I obviously want to teach him to stay away hence my post. My problem is that he continues to walk near when I have told him no.

[joeluke]

'He also likes to run away from us when we are out shopping'

At 16 months old he should be made to hold your hand if he won't sit in the trolley

Remember James Bulger?

[boxtops]

I hope the reins work, I wish more parents would use them, it's so easy to get lost in a supermarket and he is much too little to be on the loose on his own.

[sherrardk]

Hi ettelloc, I have a stair gate on my kitchen doorway and the the little ones only come in when invited (not when the oven is on unless I can give them my undivided attention and not when I am ironing).

[mike11111]

Put him in reins when he's out.

[sara3]

I think you're mistaking a toddler for an older child who might understand a set of rules and regulations.

[woofgang]

sounds like he is testing you out. As I understand it the point of the naughty step is not just to give a consequences but to teach the child that you absolutely mean what you say and will be obeyed...in the mean time keep him away from the cooker!!

[ettelloc]

Of course, joeluke, I do not let him disappear out of sight. I'm not a naive parent and do not let him run wild

[joeluke]

I personally hate to see a child tethered to a parent with reins while walking

Kids aren't dogs you know

Whatever happened to good old holding the childs hand?

[sherrardk]

Ettelloc, if you don't start the reins soon you will have a real problem getting him to wear them. I always put reins on the little ones when we leave the house so I can keep hold of them if they try to do a runner. They are a lot quicker than you think, it only takes a momentary distraction and he could be gone (and they are hard to find because they are so short!).

[ettelloc]

Sara as I said in my post in regards to the naughty step I wasnt sure if he was too young to understand, the same applies for all methods. Mike1111 I have purchased some reins so hopefully they will do the trick.

[sherrardk]

Hi joeluke - I have two year old twins so hand holding is bit difficult really, if one does a runner you still have the other one to contend with. My other children didn't take to reins but held hands but I am finding them invaluable with the two year olds.

[boxtops]

JL, when we were little (up to about age 4) we always wore reins out - before then, the child is very easily distracted and a toddler doesn't understand the danger of slipping the hand-hold. If mum has a trolley and shopping as well, reins are managed more easily.

[ettelloc]

Joeluke its more of holding his arm as he wants to be off on his own, I dont want to drag him round the supermarket by his arm. As much as You hate to see a child tethered I'm sure other people hate to see a child being dragged or screaming in a trolly or running all over. Thanks Sherrard I will be usuing them as of tomorrow, I think they will do the trick as Im not restricting his arms as such and he will still have his freedom to some extent

[woofgang]

I think that reins are more comfortable for the child than having one arm up in the air for long periods of time.

[PipinHull]

You say he tries to 'run away from us' - if you're not a single parent then maybe try leaving him at home with one parent while the other does the shopping? (I know it's much harder if you're on your own) My son is pretty similar though he's three and a half now, I've found that rather than find ways to keep him entertained I just don't take him out shopping in the first place. I agree that many of the methods people use are more suited to slightly older children - it's worth trying sticker reward charts etc but try not to get too frustrated if he doesn't change overnight.