I am worried about my 6yr old.......anyone got any advice?

[tigwig]

She is not being herself (some of the time not all of it) and since last week she has gone straight to bed after her bath at 7pm without supper which is not like her at all. Last night she just curled up in bed and told both me and her dad to leave her alone. I leant over to give her a cuddle and she actually pushed me away and said just go, leave me. She also hasnt eaten very well for the last few days but doesnt appear ill and isnt complaining of any symptoms. She was clingy and a little tearful this morning and said she felt sick and I definitely got the impression she didnt want to go to school but I have asked and asked her if anything is wrong and she just says no I'm tired.
Last week she did have an accident at school and chipped her tooth which upset her greatly and I have made another dentist's appointment for Thurs and think this may be what is bothering her but my OH says he thinks she has been acting strange for weeks. I just dont know what to do for the best. Its awful when she pushes me away and totally out of character for her. Any ideas anyone?

[LoftyLottie]

Sounds as if it may be something to do with school tigwig. Is she being bullied by any chance? Have you talked to her teacher to find out if she has changed her behaviour at school? I would certainly do so.

Also it might be advisable to try and have a chat with her before it gets to supper/bed time when she will be tired and irritable. Perhaps don't ask her outright if anything is wrong at school. Just start a conversation about school in general and see how it goes.

[andy-hughes]

Definitely speak to her teacher.

Children live totally different lives at school from their lives at home, and often don;t like any cross-over.

It may be something that cvan be addressed very simply - so let her teacher keep an eye on her, and advise you if anything is amiss.

Try not to take her isolation personally - it's what children do sometimes, they always come back!

[LoftyLottie]

Would the chipped tooth incident at school be due to bullying? Kids can be horrible to each other, especially little girls!! (I worked in schools for many years). Little girls can be very verbally nasty too.

Little boys generally have a good fight and then it's all forgotten!

[tigwig]

The tooth incident was her best friend as it happens and she made my daughter a lovely card to say sorry and her mum phoned me so its definitely wasnt a bullying thing but I was thinking of having a word with the teacher. I just dont think they will have noticed even if anything else was going on.
She is so shy and thats something else I worry about too. If anyone who she isnt really really familiar with speaks to her she just stares at them with such a look of discomfort on her face. Its embarrassing at times as I feel forced to eventually answer for her. She has told me before that other kids call her weird (but not at school, more at soft play centres)

[ummmm]

Being shy is a huge burden. I was very shy...if I was asked a question by someone I didn't know I'd become mute. Then you feel like an idiot. My sister used to do my talking for me. It can get you down...everyday things are stressful.

[ljdksa]

Hi Tigwig, I would also speak to her teacher and ask her to keep a special eye out for the next few days. Just chat to your daughter generally about school and people and see if she says anything. She may be a little under the weather too and just need a couple of earlier nights.

[LoftyLottie]

Why don't you think the teachers will have noticed tigwig. Good teachers will pick up very quickly when a child is acting strangely.

If she has been taunted before about her shyness and 'weirdness', perhaps something like this is happening again. Kids can be very cruel to each other and if she is a sensitive little soul I can understand how she might feel.


I would definitely talk to the school. If they haven't noticed you can make them aware of the problem and they will keep a watch on her.

[cazzz1975]

have a word with the teacher, it will put you and them fully in the picture as to whats going on. I wouldnt rest if my kids were acting strange, it happened recently with my son, suddenly his behaviour changed and he seemed quite stressed, I then found out that his mini bus driver had been shouting at him.

the driver who thought this is how you dealt with children with autism still hasnt grasped how much he has affected my son. I will make sure he knows though..

[LoftyLottie]

Just thinking back. When my son was about 5 he suddenly said he didn't want to go to school and became quite quiet. He asked me if I could teach him at home !

He didn't tell me why, but eventually it came out that he gone to the loo at school because he needed a poo. It took longer than the usual loo visit and he had been shouted at for getting into lunch late in front of the whole school (only 40 children).


It really did upset him. Poor little fella, but we sorted it out!!

[LoftyLottie]

Just trying to say that something like this which seems quiet trivial can seem like a giant problem for a littly!!

[cazzz1975]

agree there lottie, to a child its a big deal no matter how insignificant it may seem to an adult

[west ham fan]

Hi 38 years ago my daughter was doing what your daughter is , I spoke with the teachers and all of her friends parents to find out what if any thing they had noticed, Then one day she was heping me make the beds she was 6 years old, she told me she had a secret and I said have you and she replied yes Grandad told me not to tell anybody, I felt sick because I knew then what was going on, she then started to cry and eventualy told me what Grandad has been doing to her, when of a Sunday my in laws would come for tea, he and their nanny would bath her and her brothers one of 7 the other 5, he was interfering with her whilst getting her into her nightie. It was a terrible time for her knowing that this was a man she loved but knew it was wrong. I am not saying any thing like this cold be happening to your daughter, but ust be aware.WHF

[tigwig]

I have spoken to one of the teachers but this particular one isnt in her class much so I will have a word with one of the others tomorrow. In fact I may write a note explaining everything instead. I also spoke to my daughter for quite a while and she still insists nothing is bothering her in anyway just that she feels sick and is tired. She often says she feels sick though and I have posted about that before too. We went through a range of possibilities for her appearing upset in a casual way but no joy.
She did say she fely guilty for pushing me away last night and that she was sorry bless. I dont really know what else I can do now apart from monitor her.
WHF I appreciate what you are saying and that is a terrible tale you tell. She is only ever with me and my husband alone so I am pretty sure there isnt anything like that going on thankfully.

[LoftyLottie]

If she is tired, not eating well and says she feels sick on a regular basis than perhaps a visit to the GP would be a good idea tigwig just to rule out any medical cause.

[mollykins]

'Children live totally different lives at school from their lives at home, and often don;t like any cross-over'

True for me, my parents can never believe how good my reports and parents evening comments are :P

But yeah, ask the school and possibly any other parents of friends she's been round (if any) recently.

[tigwig]

Well I am very glad to say I have my daughter back! She had her tooth fixed yesterday which was pretty traumatic for the little love but now its over she is fine. It must have been that that was worrying her and she didnt want to tell me.

[LoftyLottie]

Good news. Children are funny things aren't they!

[DTCwordfan]

Glad it is resolved.

If there was bullying involved and no school action, Pinki would have gone ballistic for you......