I think this Is out of order. Do you??

[lylabellablueyes]

Hi

My mother in law has asked myself and my partner to look after her badly behaved 14 year old son while she goes on holiday for 3 days.

We both work, my partner full time. I have a toddler and I'm tired from being 23 weeks pregnant. I also cook clean and all he usual stuff.

There would be nowhere for him to sleep apart from the sofa, which I hate as I've already paid 30 for a new zip on the cushion as he broke it last time. He's cheeky and I can't be bothered if I'm honest.

I think it's cheeky to ask. Do you??

[bednobs]

no, i don't think it's cheeky to ask. I think it's silly to yes if you don't want to though

[DTCwordfan]

Bednobs is spot on - just say that you are having some issues with the pregnancy , nothing serious but fatigue/hormones etc, and cant give him the time that you want etc etc - a little diplomatic white lie is not wrong here..............

[lylabellablueyes]

I'm not going to say yes, but my partner then thinks I'm being horrible dowager his family. She asks us all the time. Were not Even close and she only phones when she wants something. It's annoying me. I think I'll say something next time x

[Quassia]

It does sound as if you have enough to do lyla. I wonder how the son feels? Can you book some time off work so you're less stressed & may be go out with him?

[bednobs]

all you need to say is "no"! - why stir it by "saying something"

[rowanwitch]

If you give in it must be on condition all damages are paid for and you and your partner have the right to use whatever means of discipline you think appropriate and he is made aware of this....personally I wouldn't do it but if he is that bad your MIL probably needs a break

[TWR]

3 days, is there a problem for her not taking her son with her? after all she knows her son has a problem, so let her take him with her It might do him good.

[lylabellablueyes]

He's not my brother and I don't have time for him tbh. He smokes sneakily and everything. In fact, I'm sure it's him that put a tag burn On my stair carpet. I don't want to cause trouble by telling his mum though.

Bednobs. She asks all the time and seems unfaised when we tell her no. She's quite a selfish person anyway so doesn't mind putting people Out, but does nohing for noone. I'm sick of her asking. As constantly saying no isn't working.

[Quassia]

Just wondering lyla ...
what's their relationship like (son & mum ) Is there a reason he's badly behaved? Does he feel shoved out of the scheme of things? Does he feel palmed off? Is there something he's unhappy about at home? He's 14 .. a really difficult age .. still a child but wants to be grown up.

[lylabellablueyes]

Twr. I thought the same. She is always palming him off with someone though. Yes he's a bad kid, but not my problem.

[Quassia]

I agree ... it's not your problem lyla .. but I'm kind of feeling for him.

[TWR]

You have enough on your plate Lylabella, tell her to sod off.

[lylabellablueyes]

Thanks twr. Someone on my side lol. Just kidding!

Quassio. I totally agree with you, but as I have been good to him in the past, his mother then takes the pi$$ and takes advantage. This then makes me not want to do it.

U hit the nail bang on the head with he answer and I'm impressed at your accuracy with so little information from me. :-)

I have felt sorry for him in the past as she has brought all her kids up strange and none of them have respect for her. But again it's not my problem. I have my own life.

[lylabellablueyes]

I'm really not a selfish person, but getting sick of it now.

[stokemaveric]

why should you have your own life disrupted lyla?? you dont need the stress do you really???...say sorry...but NO...

[jno]

in her place, I'd ask. In your place, I'd say No.

[lylabellablueyes]

She never has my child. Always let's me down And my daughter. I'm just glad she's not big enough to know.

[Quassia]

Again I would agree , it's not your problem & we all have our own lives to lead .. and very tiring it can be too .. especially having pregnancy tiredness to deal with! I would look at it from this angle, I would block out the taking the .... angle .. it's a negative directed at the mum who probably well deserves it .. the son is suffering. It's three days .. can your husband take any time off work to look after things? I really 'do' see your point of view lyla .. don't think I am unsympathetic. Just thinking how ' I'd ' feel in his position .. sometimes it's hard to see past the uruly actions of what is a 'child' at the end of the day x