Pregnant with a two year old and panicking over who will look after her!

[nellypope]

I have a lovely two year old and I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant, my husband works far away (occasionally overnight but certainly 3-4 hours away) I don't have any family whatsoever and certainly no friends that could watch my daughter at the drop of a hat. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation and if the worst came to the worst and I had to get myself to the delivery suites, how are the staff going to feel with a two year old there, waiting for family to come a pick her up? What would you do?

[ummmm]

Have you spoke to your midwife about it?

Can your husband get time off work? They might be happy to induce you considering the circumstances...

I'm presuming your husband will be looking after your daughter? Who will be with you?

[nellypope]

Hi Ummm! Unfortunately I can't be induced due to previous C-Section (the drugs have been deemed to powerful for the scar tissue) and they want me to try for normal delivery!!!!! (my eyes are watering at the thought). I'm hoping that start of labour will be recognisable and slow enough for me to call my husband back or his family to come over (1-2 hours away) but it's a rather comical (if frightening situation) you don't realise how much you rely on others unitl you have kids!
:-I

[daffy654]

Second deliveries can be scarily quick. Mine was only 2 ½ hours from first twinge to baby being here. I wouldn't rely on your hubby being able to make it in time if he works so far away. Can he not take some annual leave from work around your due date?

[ummmm]

1 - 2 hours 'should' be plenty of time. There was no mistaking the start of my labours..

Have you disgussed another c-section?

[mickrog]

i would tell husband he was there for the conception so he can be there for the birth.

[ummmm]

Labour is expected to start anywhere between 37 weeks and 42 weeks....that's quite a bit of time off work!!

[madmaggot]

Do you have a friend who would be willing to take your daughter for a few hours until your husband can get home?
I'm sure your situation must be the case for many expectant mums so speak to your midwife who I'm sure should be able to offer suggestions.

[ummmm]

<I don't have any family whatsoever and certainly no friends that could watch my daughter at the drop of a hat.>

[cathfromsaron]

can you join a playgroup and meet similar people? this is a very common story!

cath x

[annie0000]

Honestly, your best bet would be to try to go for a 2nd Csection if possible. You don't know that the scar will hold - I was told at my 2nd that although initially they wanted to try for a normal delivery, examination of the scar during the op revealed that it would never have withstood a normal delivery. In the end, they felt a Csection was best as the exact circumstances that meant I needed one the first time were likely to recur (baby lying back to back and expected to be large).

Although obviously it is major surgery and has a far longer recovery time, the advantage is that you know when you are having it and can make plans ( we had a 13 month old and no family that close by).

[nellypope]

To be honest I can see me ending up with a c section too but it's booked for 41 weeks, reckon that I could probably get family to meet me at hospital by the time I got there if I did go into labour! Failing that I will hold the record for youngest birthing partner ;-) . . .

[annie0000]

Initially they wanted to set my date for the section for the closest surgery date to my due date, but it was my midwife that was to book it, so she booked it for the week before instead :o) With my first I went into labour on monday morning - went into hospital that night and he wasn't born until wednesday - he was stuck fast jammed in the birth canal and had to be tugged back during the section - really wasn't keen to do all that again just 1 year later and I had been getting pain in the scar for weeks too.

Have a word with your midwife and see what she says.

[fairycakes69]

Does you child go to a nursery? My daughter works at one and they do wrap around care, which means if you need a babysitter you can ask one of the staff if they would do it for you. Great idea as your child knows the person, you feel safe in the knowlege that your child is safe.. If not I would ask your health visitor, there must be other women in the same boat. When I had one of mine, there was a woman in labour and her 2 year old was at the hospital with her, it was late at night and the midwife gave the little one a room to sleep in.