Sleep... I Need Sleep!!!

[jd_1984]

My partners little boy has had gastrointestinal virus since saturday evening.
He was in hospital Monday and Tuesday with dehydration and he could not stop being sick, so he had a drip for 12hrs and then tue afternoon kept his first bit of food down. Poor little fella has lost half a stone (only weighed 3 to begin with!). But he just is not sleeping therefore we are not either.
Just can not get going in work, my memory is awful, attention span is nil. Main priority is the health of her little boy but we desperately need some sleep now.... Its tough as I am not his parent, his mum has imeasurable patience and love. I am starting to get frustrated now, but obviously, I cant come out and say that, trying to support them both as best I can. I could however, sleep 24 hours if given the chance!!

[andy-hughes]

Not for nothing is sleep deprivation an effective torture!

I do sympathise with your situation - does the little one live with you? If so, why not ask if he can stay with mum for a night, to give you both chance to catch up some rest?

[knowabit]

Whe you say the boy is not sleeping, is it his illness keeping him awake? Why are you not sleeping, are you having to sit up with him? Is he awake all night? Does his mum work? Maybe you could suggest to her that she takes care of him at night as you really need to get some sleep as it is affecting your work?

[jd_1984]

He lives with us, I am sted dad to the little one.
His Dad lives in London and has come up for the day today so we can work but has nowhere for the little one to sleep overnight so he will be home later.
He is showing improvements and we have a good family network to help out but because he was highly viral we havent yet given him to family to look after him. My partner woke up today with stomach pains and headache..... could be round 2!!

[2sp_]

You poor family! It's just horrible. It's so difficult when your kids aren't well. You are knackered and feel guilty and selfish if you complain about lack of sleep - you just can't win!

Would your work give you a couple of days off? That way you could look after your stepson and maybe nap when he does?

I hope he gets better soon, and you and your partner escape it! And get some well deserved sleep soon.

[jacdo]

Hi jd ,It's hard being on the outside looking in ,but rest assured when this is over your input will be remembered .So hang in there nothing lasts for ever .Support your man all the best .jacdo.

[jd_1984]

Its difficult, when these situations come up it tests your strength as a family unit. I am not his dad, but I am due to marry the mother. His actual Dad has driven up from London but has nowhere to have him overnight, so to be honest its not a solution him being here, only that I have managed to go to work for a few hours. I look at my partner and she is so tired she can barely fuction and because I am not a parent, I can feel frustration boiling over but dont want it to look like I am not supportive. Last thing we need is to fall out.
8hrs sleeps since Saturday though and its showing now!

[andy-hughes]

Actually - you are a parent!

Welcome to dad-world - biology does not come into it, if you are marying mum, you are going to be fulfilling the dad role in his life, and this is part of it.

[2sp_]

Trust me jd, biological parents feel exactly the same when a child is ill. You are this wee boy's dad!

[Smowball]

Why is he not sleeping?

[jd_1984]

Smowball
Wasnt sleeping due to vomiting and fever and now he has picked up a chest infection so the last 2 nights it was coughing.
He is having naps in the day but waking up feeling ill every hour during the night!!
He now has amoxicillin as well as liquid ibruprofen and throat spray!

[ummmm]

You ARE his parent. You are parenting him.

[jd_1984]

Yes, I realise ummmm the interpretation of who or what a parent is.
I am parenting him more so than his father, he lives in my home and I am marrying the mother in a couple of years.
So in practice, yes I have the responsibility for his welfare, but lack the parental instincts and imeasurable love for a child that is yours. So these times can test the dynamic thats all, but we will be fine!

[ummmm]

You are too harsh on yourself. Biological parents get fed up.

[jd_1984]

They hide it better!
Got some things pencilled in for myself this weekend. Golf, gym and drinks with the lads. My partner told me to go and have fun this weekend, she is grateful for my support and I think I need to be "me" for a day or two!

[ummmm]

And most parents would feel the same. I think it should be law that parents get a two week holiday every year :-)

[Smowball]

What an excellent idea,lol.