It Has Taken Me Over 27Yrs To Say This.......

[fredkins]

In fact I do not remember If I have spoken of this before I really do not think I have,It Is very close to my heart,and I think I need to get It off my chest and see how you all feel and can give me an honest opinion,or advice,or just some very heart-warming thoughts.My father was the most respected person ever In the community but behind closed doors he was the most horrid father ever.He would beat me with his BELT and when I did not cry he would continue,Myself and my siblings were subjected to the most worst beatings ever.This went on for many years,but when they say there Is no love stronger than that of the child and their parent, that is true. When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer I was the one that stepped In and looked after him until he died.But I have suffered personally for years and needed to cry out for help.So many unanswered questions.Why after so long is this affecting me still? Please any advice Is welcome.

[Answerprancer]

Respect and sympathy to you for letting it out here, It would be nice to know that you might take this a step further and talk about it with people you know in real life. Well done for addressing it and not keeping it locked away. What a horrible thing to have had to endure.

[society]

((((virtual hug))) Fredkins.

[Mamyalynne]

Because you have locked it all away and now is the first and biggest step into recognising that however well respected to the outside world he was - he hurt you!

It is so important that you talk this through and your GP would be more than happy to point you at some counselling help, trust me there will be many here who have been through the same.

May I send a ((HUG))

[mrs.chappie]

(((HUG))) from me too, Freda. x

[Smowball]

Agree that counselling is the way forward. Am very sorry that you went through this as a child and am also sending you a big hug (( x ))

[Peter Pedant]

You are NOT alone Fred.
Big hug

I think your first stop is your GP and he may be able to arrange counselling - free itherwise you may have t o pay. Not everyone finds it useful. I was a doubter and found it surprisingly useful when I was first diagnosed with cancer in 1999. so give it a go

and good luck
PP

[Gavmacp]

I had a similar relationship but with my mother. As a child she was horrible. She is still alive and I Speak to her often but I never tell her anything about me. As an adult I developed panic attacks and had chronic anxiety. The talk therapy did not work for me as it never really resolved the issues. I met someone that did EFT emotional freedom therapy which worked. I could not believe that something so weird would of helped but it did for me.

[fredkins]

This Is my biggest step ever, I have never spoken of this before and I know It Is a big step and I am glad I have been able to open up myself to you all,cry,cry,cry so crying as I have done for years. What Is wrong with me and why do I still feel like this after so long?

[Melarnia]

fredkins - things have a funny way of rearing their head later in life. As others have said, counselling is the way forward, I know its harder for men to accept this type of treatment, but go with it and I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how it will help. Its not an overnight result, but stick with it.

[mrs.chappie]

Freda (Fredkins) is a lady.

[Melarnia]

sorry, fredkins, have just realised you are female.

[society]

"What Is wrong with me and why do I still feel like this after so long? "

Because you love your father very much, and you believe he treated you very badly.

[Gavmacp]

I saw a programme on depression it was with Ruby Wax. Anyway something that came up that I thought was quite interesting. There was a therapist who taught meditation to help with depression. His rational is that your brain is like a computer which is always trying to make sense of whatever is going on. It runs a program trying to make sense of if but it won't so it just keeps running the same program. This causes the depression to become worse and a downward spiral occurs.

[Melarnia]

please try the counselling, I speak from experience, it can help.

[fredkins]

Thankyou everyone for your support.

[Gavmacp]

They say that taking the first step is the hardest. You have now done that so hopefully the next step will be easier!

[fredkins]

Thankyou Gavmacp