"If a child is having a tantrum, all eyes turn on the mum [or dad] disapprovingly. Instead she should be supported, because chances are the tantrum occurred because she's not giving in to one of her child's demands. Those observers should instead be saying, "Hey, good work -- I know setting limits is hard."
i think many are guilty of being exasperated at a child who is having a tantrum in public and also at the parent and expect them to just sort it out, even being angry at them for not 'dealing' with it - even though we all know its not that easy ...
I have these problems in the super market when my 22 month old grandson wants something he can't have at that time. He, and I, get very disapproving looks. Usually the reason for the screaming is a punnet of fruit and said grandson is learning he can have some once it's all paid for, but it's an uphill struggle!
I don't recall any of mine having a tantrum (at least one of them must have done done at some stage), don't think I would have given in if they had - just making a rod for your own back. Not really giving a stuff about what people think helps. I think some people give in to public tantrums so that their child quietens down and they stop getting the 'look' from others.
perhaps thats part of the problem sherrard, the parents are afraid of the looks and want the issue to go away ... and the child learns to do it in public to get treats etc
personally whilst it is a bit annoying to listen to a screaming child, and i wish they'd stop - i dont feel any negativity etc towards the parents, i have no kids but i have seem them act up and i know there is often nothing they can do about it
i wonder how much of the 'giving in' is actually down to genuine bad looks - or just parents paranoia and fear ...? would they do the same even if they hadnt received a bad look?
When I see a child having a tantrum I always feel sorry for the parents . I feel like saying 'its ok we understand' because they nearly always look embarrassed. What I HATE is PARENTS having TANTRUMS at their children, screaming and shouting at them instead of dealing with things in a calm manner
Used to be dealt with with a swift smack on the bottom when I was a kid. Of course one gets disapproved of for that these days. The poor little mite is traumatised, or something.