Mental Health Help

[Nicole24]

I don't know what to do anymore. The NHS is pushed to the limit and I get that but what about the ones that get left behind? What about me? Where do I go now?

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years now. Growing up things were hard, my mum never cared about anyone but herself. She used people and did t care who she hurt. She emotional abused me and my brothers and sisters. She hates me and would take a lot of stuff out on me. When I got to 13, I couldn't take my life anymore and I tried to kill myself. I failed, I had to stay I hospital over night and the next day I had to see a srink. My mum came in with me and no one asked if I wanted her in there. They asked me what happened and couldn't tell them the truth not with my mum there so she took the lead and told them that I was being bullied at school. Went in fact it wasn't happening at school but at home. Back then things was so hard as I had my mum on my case and she always made it clear that she didn't like me. But I also had something that I couldn't talk about. My brother was doing stuff to me and he had told me I wasn't to tell anyone. I have carried this with me for years. Now I am 24 and its ripping me apart from the in side, everything I went through as a kid is haunting all the time. I have tried so many things to move on but never felt like anyone would believe me about my brother. But 2 years ago it got too hard for me to keep going with this hanging over me. I knew I had to talk to someone and I told my counsellor about it. And she felt that it was a safeguarding issue even through I always made sure that I and my son are never alone around us. It's not like I can kick him out my life without everyone in my family finding out. She told social behind my back and I had a social work come to my home asking questions about what happened. I spoke to her as I had no choice. She agreed that it would be marked as private on my records. But then 3 months later I was given a new social worker and he sat in a meeting and tried to get me to explain what it was on my records about one of my sons uncles being a safety issue. This was in a meeting with my schools school and other people working with us and all so my nan was there. I just up and lefted I couldn't sit in front of all them people and in front of my nan. I don't understand why he would ask about something like that in from of them people. It would have said on the report what it was about and tht it was to be keep private. After that I gave up trying to get help. But since Feb this year, things have been getting harder for me to deal with. I can feel myself coming to breaking point. I knew I needed help and I did reach out. I got put on the waiting list for the mental health team and put on Antidepressants. I didn't seem to get any better on them and after a month of being on the waiting list I went back to the doctors because I was scared I was going to lose control and hurt myself. My new doctor told me that I had ptsd from my childhood. He changed my meds and they seemed to help a bit but they got too hard to stay on as they knocked me out to the point that I wasn't waking up to my nightmares and having to live through them. Last week I had a meeting with the mental health team and I layed everything on the table and didn't leave anything out. It was so hard to do but I knew if I wanted help then I had too. But now it feels like a waste of time putting myself through all that pain of getting it out there to get help. (They did say that what happened with my brother shouldn't have been a safeguarding issue). They wasn't willing to help me and told me to go back to counselling like I have been doing over like the last 12 years and it seems like no matter what I do it just seems to not get better. I find it so hard to talk about and half the time I have a panic attack just from sitting there and trying to talk about the things I went through. Oh and they are changing my meds for me but still waiting

[Old_Geezer]

It is a sad tale you tell us about. There are folk who visit here that have expertise but from my inexpert point of view I'd have thought that the two possibility you are trying, and have tried. Communication and drugs. I can only suggest you take advantage of whatever is offered and hope one of the changes actually triggers a change in your thinking so you can get into a happier frame of mind. Good luck.

[ummmm]

Mental health is especially stretched, sadly.

Have you got many friends? Sometimes the best counselling can come from unqualified people.

[Mamyalynne]

You've had a rough time indeed, but you have survived - congratulate yourself on that.

Seek out some groups, either online or local, where you can chat with people who know what you're going through.

I hope the new meds help somewhat too.

[Buenchico]

Try seeking help from a charity. There may be local ones specific to your area but these are the main national ones:

http://www.mind.org.uk/

http://www.sane.org.uk/

https://www.rethink.org/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

[Captain2]

I am not an expert on such matters but our daughter, who has and has had mental health problems is far more knowledgeable. I will speak with her and see if she is prepared to read this and offer some advice, no matter how small.
She is currently out addressing a local meeting of MIND the mental health charity (for which she raises money). Could I ask you to see if you can find out if MIND have a base near you - and if they do please get in touch with them.

http://www.mind.org.uk/

(PS It will be tomorrow before she can reply - if she feels able to help)

Take care.

[jennyjoan]

I can't help you unfortunately but would advise to keep on searching and researching everything. You are lucky in having a little son to go on and you must for the sake of him.

I really don't have many words for you but do hope you get a little comfort from somewhere. God bless you. xxx

[chanel5]

You have had a difficult life, but you have survived, and as Mamyalynne says, that is something to congratulate yourself for. The fact that you have survived shows that you must be stronger than you think you are, and that strength will see you through. I can understand your frustration that nothing seemed to get better even after you got the courage to be open about everything that has happened to you. It must seem as if the pain will never end, but it will get better and you will be better able to cope with it, you just have to take it a day at a time.
It is also important that you continue to talk about your feelings and share your thoughts. The people on this site who have answered your post are caring and sympathetic people. They answered a post of mine a few months ago when I was feeling very low, and I was much helped and greatly touched by their sympathetic concern. So please post again and let us know how you are.
I hope you can soon find peace of mind and relief from your anguish.

[murraymints]

poor dear ..you have been dealt such a terrible deal in life so far..but those are the key words..so far....you are still very young with a lot of life ahead and a lot to live for with a son in your life that needs you..good advice above regarding MIND ..they can put you in touch with local help groups, folks who have experienced similar and DO know what you are feeling...talking does help..

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/t/talking-therapies

also ask about a referral to your CPN..community psych nurse...they do home visits and crisis care team is available 24 hours a day for times when you fear self harm...

hopefully your change of meds will help but that does take time...

you have done well to get to this point....one step at a time....I send you my warmest best wishes and hugs...xxx

[jourdain2]

The only help I can give you is to say that you have had a rough deal and have done well to get so far. Keep thinking of your son and try to focus on how you can move forward to help him in his life. Many people, me included have problems in early adulthood - it seems to be a hopeless eternity stretching ahead -but, believe me, it is possible for life to change. I have ended up happy, hang on in there and I hope you will, too. The change of meds. may help when they've kicked in. ;)

[Bathsheba]

Nicole, reading your sad tale has really touched me. I would advise you to ask your GP to referr you to a Psychiatrist. Counselling is a waste of time in my opinion, you need to see a specialist, not an amateur, who has completed a course in CBT or similar.

Wishing you better asap :)

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