Selfish people

[jibjab]

I am just writing really as I have had my familys views on this, but i wanted an outsiders view. I have always know my girlfriends mum and brother to be very very strong willed and strong headed - almost manipulative. I used to think it was charming, NOW i think it stinks. 3 months after her husband died she is going on holiday with another fella, these tewo have absoloutley NO shame, can I carry on with my girlfriend if this is going to be a major problem? I feel SO uncomfortable at her house nowadays whereas i used to love being around her dad. The brothwer seems to think that selfish, ruthless people are "winners" and people with conciounces like me are "losers"

The reason I am NOT ruthless and selfish is that my mother was cheated on at a very young age for me and my father walked out on her.

[woofgang]

what does your girlfriend think of her family's behaviour?

[gary baldy]

You cant choose your family i'm afraid and 'in laws' are even worse. Is moving out not an option at all? Even it means living in a horrible little flat at least it will be your own and you dont have to live with these people you obviously dont like. This will effect your relationship with your girlfriend eventually and i'm hoping you think this girl is worth it. You dont owe these people anything - i would get out if i where you - at any cost.

[funnywebsite]

You have to let others run their own lives. You might not like it but it is tough. If she has found a new bloke to go on holiday with to make her happy then so be it. She might of met this guy after her husband died and not before or at least not had a relationship with him till after he had died. Do you want her to become a nun? You are unhappy because you liked her old husband and it is a shame he has died. But life has to go on, so get on with yours.

[Octavius]

jibjab - for your many (and oft repeated) posts, berating and getting involved inyour girlfriends family is clearly getting to you, it seems, to the point where you can no longer keep your nose out of their business or cope with the strain. Yes we get your point about the widow, but get over it. Repeating it to us doesn't make us think differently.

Why don't you knock the relationship on the head as it is definitely not going to improve over time. Incidentally, how OLD are you?

[Coobeastie]

To be honest it sounds like you have some real issues. It was bad what happened to you and you mum but lets not confuse issues...this sounds completely different.

Some people grieve in different ways and as funnywebsite says...do you expect her to become a nun?

Your girlfriend feels exactly the same way as you do but you're considering dumping her over the fact that her mum and brother are not very nice people...and you say you're not selfish, I'm sure that shortly after loosing her father she take it really well.