ex partners rights

[Nikki20]

I was in a 3 year relationship which split up for a couple of months in the summer. i met someone new and accidentally fell pregnant. my ex and i then decided to give things another go. The babies father then decided he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I am now due in 1 week. I have not heard from the babies father at all since we split but have heard from his mum that he wants to see the baby. I am planning on telling him when the baby arrives when i am registering the birth and it is then up to him if he turns up or not. If he doesnt my now fiance says he will happily be a father fugure to my child. is it illegal for his name to go on the birth certificate?

[nic..nic32]

as far as i am aware you can name anyone as the father on a birth certificate or you could just leave it blank,you can name the real father without him being there and this would be easier for you in the future if you decided he should pay for the child and your now fiance could always adopt the child as his own,at the end of the day every child deserves to know both biological parents if possible

[Loopylou22]

It's not illegal to do that!!! youve got to decide who you think would make the best daddy possible!

[Nikki20]

Thank you for your answers. I know that the babies dad has to be there when i register the birth if he wants to be on the birth certificate. I know for a fact that my fiance will be the best dad to the baby. He loves him already and cant wait for him to arrive. His parents also cant wait to be grandparents.I'll wait until the baby arrives and see what happens. Thanks again.

[lady_p_gold]

I am still uncomfortable about putting someone as a child's father who is in fact not the father. This is supposed to be a record of birth and your child may well not thank you one day for all sorts of reasons, for not creating a true copy of their heritage, which means that grandparents, genetic things and all manner of possible things are not correct.

[WendyS]

'm inclined to agree with Lady Gold. What if you child developed a genetic illness which needed parental tests or kidney transplants, blood groups or something? Could you just not name the father on the birth certificate and then have your fiance legally adopt him. That would seem to be a more honest way of approaching the issue. Your child might not forgive you for the deception when it grows older and distrust of a parent is a good way of harming your future relationships.

[kazzianne]

I understand your dilemma but I agree with LadypGold and Wendy - the birth certificate was I thought a legal document of the childs blood parents.It could cause all sorts of problems in the future if you put your current partner - what happens god forbid if you two split up in a few years and he decides he doesnt want to be on the certificate anymore?You cant then go back and add the real father.

[hmc]

Hi

I'm almost certain that you cannot name a person on the birth certificate unless that person is pesent at the registration, or you are married and obviously state your husband as the father (in which case the father can be absent).

On a personal note (and having recently made a big mistake in having my ex's name on my daughters bc), I would be inclined to leave it blank. In terms of child support, you will always be able to get a paternity test done if you need to. If you put this guys name on the birth certificate he will immediately have parental responsibility over the child. He can then stop you from changing the childs surname should you marry, prevent your child from being adopted and theorectically have a say in every important decision about your childs life, like which school he or she goes to.

It's a can of worms. He doesn't sound like he's happy to participate and take responcilbility for the baby. Just don't give him rights unless you are really sure that he will live up to yours and your childs expectations of a father....espically when there is another man in your life who is prepaired to be daddy.

What I'd do...Leave it blank, give the child your surname. Give it a go with your partner. If it works out and you get married, he can adopt your child and you'll be a happy family! The other side of the coin usually isn't pretty in the long run.

Best of luck with everything, it's fab being a mummy!