Helping my Breast feeding wife to get some rest

[Finance Guy]

My wife gave birth to a wonderful baby boy about two weeks ago. She is happily and succesfully breastfeeding him, but is starting to get really fatigued.

Little man likes a lot of feeds (about every 2-3 hrs, for an hour) and this means that my wife is not getting any lengthy periods of sleep.

I suggested that we buy some bottles that we saw in mothercare that has a nipple shaped and textured teat. My theory was for us to try and express some breast milk, via a pump, earlier in the evening and then I use the bottle to feed little one in the night, when he is so sleepy that he will barely notice, or acknowledge, the difference.

My wife is all for it one minute, then quite against it the next, getting quite upset at the thought of the baby rejecting her breast, in favour of the bottle permanently.

I have tried to reassure her that this is unlikely and do not wish to do anything that will upset her or pressurise her, but i am still concerned that she is really in need of rest.

My mind is very open to new ideas, can any Mother out there give me some guidance as to how to sensitively handle this and help my wife to get the well needed sleep she needs please?

Many thanks

[sophieb]

Hi! I breastfed both of mine til they were just over a year old. The first few weeks after you have baby are very tiring whether you breastfeed or not as your body is still recovering from the birth! My youngest is 9 and when he was born health visitor, midwife etc suggested not expressing until he was about 8 weeks(although that advice might have changed). Your wife should rest(not necessarily sleep) when the baby is sleeping. You sound like a really supportive guy and there are other things you can do to be involved and help her out. Does she have her mum/sister/friends living nearby that could help her out if you are at work all day? As he gets bigger you and your wife will sort out your own routine for him and the extreme tiredness she is experiencing will pass.(Just on the subject of expressing my older child would drink out of anything but the younger one hated anything teat shaped in his mouth and would gag! I expressed for use with a baby cup when he was about 5-6months)

[sophieb]

Also you can ask your health visitor about a breast feeding support group near (National Childbirth Trust or La Leche League have good ones)where she can get tips and advice from other breastfeeding mums! Good luck!

[stressed out]

I breastfed my son (who's now 3) for a year, the first few weeks are very hard and tiring on the mum and i found i had alot of backache and i only got about 4 hours sleep at night! I tried expressing but for me, i found that it hurt and the result was only a few ounces plus my son did'nt want a teat of any kind or even dummy, believe me i tried all...

I did'nt have a supportive partner and i know this is an important factor, if your wife could express, ( most women do and have no problems), then you could give the baby his feed and she could rest, i doubt he will reject the breast after, i wished my son had gone onto bottles earlier.


I did'nt want to scare you or sound pessamistic, it does get better.


I'm pregnant with my second at the moment and am in 2 minds whether to breastfeed this time around! lol.
Wish you both the best of luck, let us know how you get on.

[devilwoman]

i had so much trouble breastfeeding my son 14 years ag, so i know traumatic it can be, but my hubby was great he used to bring baby to me in bed, so i could feed him, and he would make us both a cup of tea and stay awake to make sure i didnt fall asleep, after the long and tiring feed, hubby would take baby, change his nappy and settle him back to sleep, so i could go back to sleep, this was a great help in those early days cos if you can manage a decent sleep at night, it helps things to run smooth in the day time.

[Pippa68]

All very good advice given!

One thing I would add is to make sure your wife is getting enough sustainance herself. I have four children, all were breastfed and I remember being so busy with breastfeeding (my first fed every hour and a half, for up to an hour!) that I sometimes forgot to eat....

The next baby I had, I remembered to have a drink of water/cup of tea and a sandwich beside me. In order for the milk to be good for baby, the mother must have proper nutrition and to add approximately 500 calories extra to the normal intake.

I have to say two weeks is a very short time, and it stands to reason that both mum & baby are yet to establish any kind of routine...your wife is getting used to the feeding demands, and baby is only just beginning to realise that he needs to work hard in order to get his food :o)

It should all settle down within the next few weeks ~ once feeding is established properly the sleep should follow.

Oh....and many congratulations to you both!

[Finance Guy]

Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply.

Two weeks is a short space of time, I know. I am just concerned that my wife get rest and keeps up her strength.

Little man continues to grow and has gained an amazing 10oz in the last two weeks!!!

My wife and I are both delighted with our little bundle of joy and I guess I should just relax and enjoy it, rather than worrying so much!

Thanks again to you all

Kind regards

[Pippa68]

Oh it is a time full of worry..and will continue into infinity (so my mother tells me, lol).

But yes, enjoy it..they grow so fast!

It looks to me as if you are the ideal partner & daddy ~ if you can take the reins and make sure your wife gets as much rest as possible & pamper her a bit in the evenings everything will work out fine, I am sure :o)

[crete]

i wish all new dads were like you well done .

[helliebobs]

Congrats on the new addition Finance Guy and I can only hope my hubby is as supportive as you when I have our baby!! ;)

[Finance Guy]

Well, we have tried 'swaddling' and it is like a minor miracle has occured! He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, consequentially my wife is getting that rest she needs and is as chirpy as a lamb in springtime!!

Happy days.

Thanks again to you all, I will do my best to answer any questions you all have in return (although you will probably need to loiter around the personal finance sections to get my expertise!!)

P.S. Do you think it is normal to get a bit jealous about breastfeeding? I do stress that I have no desire for a pair of my own milk producing breasts, just that when little man is distressed and hungry it is quite sad that I cannot comfort him myself and always have to do a 'hand over'! I love him and feel quite useless at this point!

[crete]

following breast feeding you do the winding and the settling down with him, dont worry your doing a valuable job , do you bath him .

[Ethel]

Finance Guy - your feelings of 'jealousy' are quite common and are to be commended! You want to be fully involved with your son.

Bath time is a great time for dad's. Take baby in the bath with you, have some special bonding time with him, and hand him back to mum when it's time to get out.

Take baby out for an hour after his feed once or twice a week. You spend time alone with baby, mum has an hour's peace for a bath, nap or her favourite tv programme.

I'm sure you do a lot already. Good for you!

[Pippa68]

So glad you have found something which works for you all :o)

I agree with Ethel.

It is perfectly natural to feel jealous at feeding times, however I came up with a theory about this when Mr Pippa felt 'useless'.

I told him that while I breastfed I sometimes felt like a food hall..I was only there to feed the baby. Whenever I picked the baby up, they could smell my milk and instantly went into 'feed me' mode...whilst when their daddy picked them up it was just for cuddles, and I felt bereft!

There is so much more to caring for baby besides feeding..spending precious time as a family is worth it's wait in gold :o)

[Pippa68]

*weight* LOL

having kids also destroys the brain cells over time ;o)