There is no point saying to you it's not going to hurt because we all know it does bloody hurt but the pain isn't going to kill you. I would suggest to keep an open mind see how you go with the labour, have pethadine if you need to, if you find you can't cope with the pain any more then have an epidural. With discussions with my friends about child birth and epidurals i feel i was lucky not having one, i couldn't imagine having to push and not feeling anything. I also think i wouldn't have felt in control being told when to push, but then we are all different and all pregnancies are different, and also of course we had the last of our children 10 years ago things have probably moved on since then.
If i was to have another child i would look into more natural ways to control the pain, breathing techniques, positive thinking, water births etc. Then if the pain became unbearable take any drug thats offered.