any working parents out there with a baby??

[Lorrymac]

Hi, i'm just after a little bit of advice. My partner and I are 29 weeks pregnant and although the pregnancy wasn't planned, we do want children and we can't wait for the arrival. only down side (and the reason why we hadn't started a family yet) is that we can't afford for either of us to come out of work and hence we will have to use child care. I work freelance and am hourly paid and not entitled to SMP. I have saved like fury since i fell pregnant but can only support myself for about 4 months before i will need to return to work. currently i start my day between 5-5.30am and leave the house for about 6.45. i leave work around 5pm. somehow i have to co-ordinate getting a baby ready and out of the house with me in the morning....obviously i have my husband's help, but he must leave at 6.30 to get to work on time. I need to get myself and the baby ready and leave for work dropping the baby off at childcare on the way...and collect after work (although its hopeful that my husband can do the collecting, but he doesn't get out of work till 5pm earliest, 5.30 usually, and sometimes 5.45 if meetings overrun)

what's the reality with this situation? i just need some experienced words really about what to expect, what to plan for, what is feasibly possible. Right now we're both feeling very lost and worried that we're not going to be able to cope. I can reduce my hours to an extent if i need to but as a result we will lose money (which is really money we need) many thanks, Lorraine

[annie0000]

I think that you may struggle to find childcare to take your baby that early in the morning. There is also no denying that it will be tough and you will be exhausted. My husband and I both worked when my first was born - from about 4 months. We used a childminder and tried to stagger our working hours so that he didn't stay there all day - it still cost about �600 a month. We gave up when he was 10 months and my husband gave up work. A big part of that decision was that we were expecting our 2nd and the cost of childcare for two was more than he earned.

You have to remember that you will want to spend time playing and enjoying your baby when you get home, that leaves all the housework, washing, dishes and baby stuff to be done late in the eveing and given the time you are getting up in the morning, it will be hard. Also, you will sometimes have nights when the baby has failed to settle and you will still be up. It then means that your weekend will be busy preparing things for the coming week. Then there is the obligation to visit granparents etc. When do you get your shopping done?

I don't want to be negative, and there are plenty of couples who manage, but there is no denying that it will be very very tiring. And then you have the guilt factor........

If possible, I would see if you can do a compressed week so that you get at least one day where it is just the parent and baby. A colleague of mine and his wife do that and it works well for them.

Unless you are getting free childcare, I think that by the time you factor in the cost of that against what you earn, less tax, less travelling costs and incidentals, maybe the gap isn't so large.

[spaced]

child care is sooo expensive. One by me charges �55 per day! So unless you earn a shed load of money and can afford an extra �1000 spend each month, forget about daily child care.

My wife and I recently had a baby girl (4 weeks ago). We knew that wages were gonna be a prob, but we foreplanned everything.

I asked my dad to lend us a small amunt of cash to cover us while she is off work, this means that we will have the same amount of money as if she was still working. I still work while she is off, obviously

When she is due to go back to work, she will go 4 days per week. we have find a carer for just half days, as our folks are at home late afternoon. Again, this will be costly, but you have to do whatever you have to do (get another job, etc etc). A friend of mine has aksed me to clean his office in the evenings, giving us an extra �200 a month. Not somehting I want to do, bu something we need to do.

Family and friends are there to help. Alot of people struggle, financially, when they have a newborn, but this is life. Maternity and Paternity pay is rubbish, but dont forget to claim for tax credits, allowances etc etc, just a little money to help pay for nappies etc etc

[Goodsoulette]

Nursery for those hours will be out of the question. 12 hours of childcare for one baby, you are looking at least 40 quid a day. You need to start looking now for a childminder if you want to keep up those hours, if you could somehow start work at 8-8;30, you will have no problem.

Going to a nanny agency and getting someone to look after the baby in your home might be your best bet(they dont have to live in). Tax Credits will cover some of that . As long as one of you are working you will get tax credits so you might find that you or your partner can give up work for a while anyway.

[redcrx]

Im lucky and work full time form home so i get to spend all my time with my son and have done since birth.

If i was in your situation Id be looking at going part tme. Purely because for 5 days a week your baby will see mummy and daddy for perhaps an hour each day and i think thats too little myself.

If you go part time look at what child credits, working tax credits and help towards childcare you will get.

[ruggief]

Hi there Jojo,
Is an Au pair an option. Our 3rd baby was born premature and I had two children at home as well and my husband had to work for the money and I needed to be at hospital with my son. We had an Au pair plus for 4 months and paid the agency �80 per week. She had the spare room and shared our bathroom and also did some of the cleaning and meals for us, and all of the childrens laundry and meals which was just fantastic and left me free to focus on our poorly son. in SCBU. For a full day care nursery 8am - 6pm I would budget for around �40-50 per day I think you will struggle to find childcare outside these times. A good friend of mine is a childminder and she does take children outside these times for a friend who's a nurse and works shifts but she charges �20 perhour for anything antisocial (beofre 8am and after 6pm). You could try sharing a nanny if you have a friend in similar situations that might be cost effective, or failing that as earlier answers when you look at the overall cost of childcare plus travelling and the emotions of missing out on time , the money you earn doesn't seem to cover what you might spend

[ruggief]

your husband's employer may offer childcare vouchers there are various schemes out there I don't have the full details, either Busybees or Kidzunlimited. You pay for them out of the salary before tax so in effect a �250 voucher per month, you woulld only lose around �170 from the salary. There's no cost to the employer and you can either have paper vouchers that you physically give to the childcare provider or electronic ones where the scheme provider transfers money to the childcae by BACS every month. Have a look at busybees.com for more info.

[FUZZYBEE]

Hi there Lorrymac, I do really feel for you, my advice is just save as much as you can, as you are doing now, you said you have at least enough for four months off so the immediate time with your baby is sorted as such.
Please please do not let money worries spoil this wonderful time for you both, if you are having a good pregnancy just enjoy it and I know you do have to plan for the future but you never know whats around the corner and you might find the offers come flooding in from family and friends, you might even meet another new mum in the same boat and you can baby share!! not ideal but trust me these obstacles really do sort themselves out when you least expect it. Enjoy this wonderful time because you won't get it back. x x
p.s don't forget you get family allowance, not a huge amount but about 70 pound a month, that will keep you in nappies and baby goods.